Hey OP,
I can tell you that when deciding whether to DF or not, Elders do sometimes consider factors such as "How long ago the sin took place" and "Has the sinner taken action to remediate the situation".
It seems in your case, the (supposed) sin took place years ago, and you have now married. If your wife can go in there and show one ounce of repentance, saying the right words, odds are they'll just privately reprove.
These are the right words for anyone not wanting to be DF'd in a Judicial Committee: "I have hurt Jehovah and sinned against him, I've learned my lesson and have taken steps to never repeat it". That's the magic phrase, do with it what you will.
PS, I can advise to lovingly and respectfully open up to your wife about how you feel regarding the religion. Ask her if she'd ever consider listening to counter-arguments to the religion's beliefs.
Good luck