Wow muddy waters, what a great post. I agree with everything you said, and enjoyed the perspective from the other side. I am living it right now as that husband, walking a tightrope.
Even little, small things are irritating like seeing a great movie that I know my wife would love, yet not being able to watch it with her because she wont watch a "r rated" movie.
I fear stopping going to meetings all together because I cant handle all the stress and turmoil at home, so for now I am just floating along, doing as little JW related as humanly possible and trying to build my marriage up. Trouble is, I have to fight feelings of resentment that creep up because I feel I am not in control of my life or my kids life. I feel she is, and I resent that. Sometimes I feel the flight or fight instinct and have a overwhelming urge to run away and see the world, join the coast guard, peace corp or anything to take me away from anything JW related, my wife, my parents. The only thing holding me back is my kids. I cannot leave them in the hands of religious fanatics. At least with me there they will have a moderating, common sense imput in their lives that will teach them to think independently and critically, skills they likely would never gain without me in the picture.