Hmmm its funny. When I was mentally in, I never did much "personal study". The minute I really started to dig in and research WT literature and the Bible I started to have doubts, which lead to even more research into "our spiritual heritage". I noticed contradictions, hypocrisy, changed teachings, and failed predictions. It is this personal study that lead me to "apostasy". When people say that I need to study more to "build my faith" I respond that I have never done more studying and bible reading than I am now! Their faces look like deer in the headlights.. You can almost see the smoke coming out of their ears.
Posts by BU2B
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34The "5 Pillars" of Witness life...
by stuckinarut2 inoh, there is one brother that keeps prattling on about "the 5 pillars of faith and worship".
- prayer.
- personal study.
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50
If The Witnesses Try To Get You Back To Jehovah...How Will You Respond!
by minimus ini am most curious.
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BU2B
I cant leave something that does not exist. -
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It's starting shunning will stop brochure first.step
by poopie ini'm in contact with service and writing and brochure first step there bleeding publishers they can't take it anymore publishers are depressed because they feel they must shun others and they know it's unloving.
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BU2B
I have seen the likes of Anthony Morris, Steve Lett and David Splane speak. As long as these heartless, soulless freaks are at the helm, shunning will NOT end. They would revise the blood doctrine and stop protecting pedos before they end shunning, and I dont see that happening either. Shunning is now in the DNA of JWism. -
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For all still in.... fakers. Help.
by Sofia Lose inam i alone in this feeling?
i wish i could muster the cojones needed to tell my husband "i want a divorce, move away, not be a jw anymore!".
i find myself screaming these same words over and loud inside my mind, several times a day, and yet on the outside my actions could not be more opposed to these inner feelings.. sometimes i worry that this internal conflict will cause me to go crazy.
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BU2B
I can relate to the way you feel. A few times a week I dream of packing up and running away, maybe joining the coast guard, backpacking through europe, or anything to get away, far away from the kingdom hall or anyone who would try to guilt me into returning.
I do love my wife but I do not feel close to her anymore. I do not think our marriage would survive being a "divided house" so the only options seem to be either fake it and watch my children be indoctrinated, or leave the KH alltogether and deal with a angry wife and mother, insecure sad kids, and a probable failure of the marriage. I dont think I could live day in day out in a marriage where I am the worldly "bad guy". If the marriage ended in divorce, my wife would likely get the kids the vast majority of the time seeing as I work so much and my wife has a daycare. It is a very bad place to be in.
I still hold out hope for my wife. She sees some hypocricy/lack of love but its still "gods organization". Things are made even harder by the fact that I am basically an athiest, and would be dishonest for me to teach my kids about god when I do not believe. My wife shows them caleb and sophia videos and I am powerless to stop it. I just want my daughters to think for themselves, not because of what I or anyone else tells them. I want them to draw their own conclusions.
For now, I take things one day at a time, because if I dont I will be overwhelmed. I try to do as little as possible JW related, and enjoy life as best I can. Whatever will be will be-que sera sera.
I guess I just mean to let you know you are not alone, and I take comfort in knowing I am not alone either. Its good to know we are all here for each other.
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46
Is disfellowshipping as popular as it was years ago?
by minimus ini seldom hear of people getting df'd anymore.
years ago it seemed there were a few per year in a congregation.
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BU2B
It still goes on quite a bit in my city. Even worse, many of them confess! -
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Behold the face of indoctrination! My moms guilt tripping letter to me.
by BU2B ini wish i knew what it was like to have an unconditionally loving mother.
i know she loves me and cares about me, but only within her narrow wt spectrum.
if i do not meet her narrow expectations, i am a failure to her.
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BU2B
They live is a bit dated but has so many parralells to the JW world. I think you would like it -
35
Behold the face of indoctrination! My moms guilt tripping letter to me.
by BU2B ini wish i knew what it was like to have an unconditionally loving mother.
i know she loves me and cares about me, but only within her narrow wt spectrum.
if i do not meet her narrow expectations, i am a failure to her.
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BU2B
Mr Flipper- That was a very nice response your son had for his mother, reminding her that he is the same person, and simply looks at some things in a different way than she does. Maybe one day she will see that what he is saying is the truth. You are definitely correct in that they are suffering from a form of mental illness. Have you ever seen the movie They Live? Its like having the glasses on, yet in WT land they dont even want to hide their demands to obey, its right out in the open and eagerly followed. I am happy your mom has retained her natural personality! She must be one special lady :)
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JW video Memes ...........Delusional humor
by Watchtower-Free inhttps://instagram.com/jw_video_memes/.
https://instagram.com/p/zlaylblgo5/?modal=true.
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BU2B
That was uncomfortably akward to see for some reason. -
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Behold the face of indoctrination! My moms guilt tripping letter to me.
by BU2B ini wish i knew what it was like to have an unconditionally loving mother.
i know she loves me and cares about me, but only within her narrow wt spectrum.
if i do not meet her narrow expectations, i am a failure to her.
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BU2B
Thanks for the comment Millie. It gives me hope. -
35
Behold the face of indoctrination! My moms guilt tripping letter to me.
by BU2B ini wish i knew what it was like to have an unconditionally loving mother.
i know she loves me and cares about me, but only within her narrow wt spectrum.
if i do not meet her narrow expectations, i am a failure to her.
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BU2B
Yes! it is crazy how similiar this letter is to others I have read that others have posted! Its almost like JW parents are following an exact template for letter writing. They truly do have unity of mind, just like they brag about. Its scary how natural care and concern go out the window. I wonder what unconditional love from a parent feels like. I would even settle for conditional love, so long as those conditions do not include something as petty and controlling as YOUR CHILD THINKING EXACTLY THE SAME WAY AS YOU! If I dont follow the things I was PERSUADED to believe, I am a lost cause!
Steve Hassan says that cult members have an authentic personality and a cult persona. I know my wife has both, but Im not sure my mom does. She is so immersed in the cult and "spiritually strong" that I think the natural and cult persona are actually the same! I love her and have some fond memories of childhood, but most trips involved conventions and assemblies and long 8 hour drives to bethel. My years before going to school were spent in FS all day, and my school years consisted of being picked on in school, going to 3 meetings a week, FS on Saturdays followed by KH cleaning. No friends, hardly and gifts, travel. Just boring steamy hot bookstudy basements studying the revelation book. My parents always fed me, gave me a clean and warm home and never abused me and for that I am glad, however I just do not feel close to them anymore. I do feel robbed of a childhood. I do not think at all like them being an athiest leaning agnostic and I feel all of our interactions are for the purpose of getting me to be "more spiritual family head"