Missed this thread. I registered about a week ago and forgot to introduce myself. While still "in" I started researching about "the truth" a while ago. I can't say when and what exactly caused it but I started having this intuitive feeling that something was wrong. The more and more blatant emphasis on unconditional obedience to the GB was what bothered me most. So I started doing the unthinkable- reading on the Internet, and I don't mean the Org's website. That was shocking. Was also the first time ever I heard of all the cases of child abuse among Witnesses. On and off I would read a bit more on the net. One thing that I found very interesting is that J.F. Rutherford was a drunkard, supposedly. Also how fixated on Pyramids C.T. Russell was. About a week ago I started researching about the heavenly vs. earthly hope for Christians doctrine. That settled things for me and I completely realized that our "Truth" is not what we're told and that not this or any GB before has had Jehovah's Spirit as guidance. It had bothered me before that we're told to follow men, not Christ. Now I'm not only bothered but done with paying attention to what they have to say, they no longer have any authority over me. Can't say where my life will lead me from now on. Due to family ties I can't just quit right now, I wish I could, but especially my Mother would be extremely shattered. We've had some discussions about some of my thoughts and she started becoming very accusatory, saying I was placing my own wisdom over that of seven million and how Jehovah would not permit them all to be so wrong... Better not to argue, at least for the time being. I prefer to be upfront about my thoughts and don't want to pretend. It's sad to see how many are unconditional in their obedience and how they have given up all inclination for free thought.
Btw, I'm thirty and third generation Witness. Never been a Pioneer and have always had something against the "carreer Witness type".