What a great thread. It's really interesting at the sameness and also the differences we've all felt. Like Band On The Run, it still effects me physically. Just the thought of stepping into a KH or seeing my family who are very deeply into the religion makes me nauseous.
My leaving is a very long story but I'll try to just hit some highlights here. I was born into it. My grandparents on my dad's side were JW's and they scared my mom and dad into getting married basically. My mom was 14 dad was 17 and both were very impressionable of course. They got married in 1971 and part of that reason was because 1975 was just around the corner. I came along in 1973 and was the first of 3 kids, my brothers are still witnesses and one of them is currently an elder and missionary in Ecuador. '75 came and went but my family stayed JW's and I grew up very spiritually minded. But even though I devoured all the literature and did my best to be a good JW there were always doubts which I felt guilty for. My dad was a very abusive (physically and emotionally) alcoholic. He would regularly beat my mom up and I'd have to call brother so and so in the middle of the night. They would come over and calm him down, etc. After years of that my mom decided to have an affair with a guy from work. Then my dad did the same with her best friend at the KH who was married to my dad's best friend who wanted to have get back at them both by sleeping with my mom. Thank god she said no! Anyway, I remember being at the KH holding hands with my best friend who was there daughter (our families were very close, ahem) but we sat there while my mom was disfellowshipped, her mom was disfellowshipped and my dad was only reproved. All 3, one blow same night. It was totally F****d up. I was 12 then and I remember being angry that my dad basically got a slap on the wrist for doing so much worse than my mom had done. But the brothers always thought he was some humble and meek. My mom was beautiful and when she walked into the KH I'd watch all the brothers staring at her and the sisters glaring at her. I hated them for thinking what I knew they were thinking but then treating her horribly and feeling sorry for my dad. I watched this growing up and couldn't understand where Jehovah was in all of this.
During this a brother killed his wife. They had both been friends with my parents. She was so sweet and he wanted to be with a youger woman at the hall. So for some reason he beat her with a baseball bat one night while she slept. It was absolutely horrible. Plus they had two awesome little kids who are now in their twenties. But aside from the utter devistation of it all, he was reinstated within a couple of years. Brothers had been visiting him in prison and they decided he was repentant and so could now preach to others in prison.
Then there was an older couple who were beloved by everyone. I really thought of Leon (he was an elder) as a grandpa and liked him a lot. One day it was found out that he had been seeing a pioneer sister from another hall and she was pregnant. So he left his wife of over 30 years and married this other sister. They were both DF'd but later reinstated. His previous wife had been so hurt that she fell away. So my thinking as a kid was like this, " So you mean to tell me that this guy can have an affair, get her preganant leave his wife and be re-instated within a year or two and they'll get to live in paradise as a new family. But Carol gets totally hurt and falls away and her faith isn't strong enough for her to be able to live in paradise?"
Watching these things happen in our congregation (Kenosha County, Wisconsin) it really impressed upon me at how ridiculous it all was. Another elder had been having an affair with a teenager while he was counseling others in the congregation. It was just filled with BS and our congregations were known for not being good association. As I got older it never changed. I tried going to other halls but they weren't much better. If people weren't sleeping with one another they were judging you for assuming you were going to do something wrong. The only reason I stayed in so long is because I didn't want to lose a relationship with my younger brothers. My dad got custody (thanks to all the JW's from my dad's new congregation who testified in court as to how bad my mom was even though they had never even met her!) Finally when I was 22 I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I was done. I left behind a lot of family members who were JW's, many have since left and we've reconnected but my brothers, my half sister, step sister, grandparents and of course my dad and his wife are still witnesses.
I had A LOT of anger when I left. So many questions. I still have a certain amount of anger 16 years later but it's not like it was. Time is one thing but we all have a path that will work for us. I was given the book "Conversations with God" to read. I made myself read it even though all I could think was that Satan was the one behind it. But something happened when I read it. My mind started to open, even just a little crack in all the dogma that I had grown up in was enough. I started reading other books too and I started to feel better. Books by Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Debbie Ford, etc. Many books later I have a completely different belief system. It is completely based on love. I don't have all the answers but I do feel that when you can bring love into your everyday life that it works better. I do not believe the bible is all divinely inspired. I think there are parts that are but now knowing the history of where the bible came from it doesn't have much weight with me anymore. I think that we all "know" in our hearts what is real and what isn't. The struggle is to get out of your head and let your heart in too. This was my path and has helped me to heal. But I'm not done healing. Knowing that most people in the world are awesome and good helps. I have not been judged since I left the organization and that's a burden off there. You don't have to look over your shoulder or question every little thing you do and that makes you free.