Hey (((Andi)))
Your post brought back memories of my grandmother...they could have been sisters, I think. My grandma was so incredibly negative, about any and everything, that I finally got to the point where I rarely visited as well. I loved her dearly, but I just couldn't take the negativity and the constant nit-picking. When I would go and visit, she would complain about how long it had been since I last visited, and so on and so on and so on.
BUT she went on a trip to Georgia to visit her sister and unexpectedly passed away while she was there. It truly broke my heart and for a while I was overwhelmed with loss and guilt. I finally came to terms with those feelings and I understand not wanting to be around a person who is so negative. I think my grandmother really was neurotic because she seemed to get much worse as she got older. I guess my point is that if I had it to do over, I think I would spend more time with her, even tho it was so hard at times, because now that she's gone, I miss her, even with all the baggage she carted around.
I just reread what I wrote and I think it sounds like I'm giving advice...that's not what I mean to do!! I think each person has to figure out what they want to tolerate and act accordingly. I am just musing about *my* feelings and about a crabby, mean old lady who nevertheless loved me a great deal.
Sorry for rambling, I'll stop now
love,
Dana
P.S. Andi, I also think you are one of the most positive people on the board. As you said, we all have choices. Life is all about perspective.
