Posts by Xanthippe

71

Doing the Right Thing, Making a Choice (shunning)

by Simon in

jw
friends

continuing a topic that is dear to my heart because of my experience as both a shunner and a shunnee .... some people seem to get very agitated when i talk about the responsibility people have to make the right choices and that despite all the wrongs within the wts, people themselves have a role to play and some personal responsibility for the experience.. notice i said "some" responsibility, not "complete" - this doesn't absolve the wts for the things they do wrong in any way shape or form.

so please don't get argumentative about possible meanings and absolutes - of course the wts has a significant role to play but we need to decide what we're trying to achieve here and why the personal choice is so important.. i'm also not talking about actual crimes that the wts should answer for.

if they cover up child abuse for instance, they absolutely should be reported immediately.

Xanthippe

The way I saw it: the bible says if you have something against your "brother" you should approach them.

Yes Matthew 18 as I recall, I dredged that up from somewhere! Nobody paid any attention to that scripture did they LHG? Yes I remember a lot of shunning without any platform announcements, marking I think they called it. Anyone could mark a person they decided was unsuitable association I think.

Very small-minded I agree. Fortunately they are not doing anything significant because it's a wonder anything gets done with so many people refusing to speak to other people. Hilarious isn't it. A control mechanism yes. You just have to refuse to be controlled.

71

Doing the Right Thing, Making a Choice (shunning)

by Simon in

jw
friends

continuing a topic that is dear to my heart because of my experience as both a shunner and a shunnee .... some people seem to get very agitated when i talk about the responsibility people have to make the right choices and that despite all the wrongs within the wts, people themselves have a role to play and some personal responsibility for the experience.. notice i said "some" responsibility, not "complete" - this doesn't absolve the wts for the things they do wrong in any way shape or form.

so please don't get argumentative about possible meanings and absolutes - of course the wts has a significant role to play but we need to decide what we're trying to achieve here and why the personal choice is so important.. i'm also not talking about actual crimes that the wts should answer for.

if they cover up child abuse for instance, they absolutely should be reported immediately.

Xanthippe

I totally agree that they are choosing to shun. People have refused to hurt or give away their families under pain of terrible torture. Following orders is no excuse.

Sometimes they won't discuss what they are doing and just expect us to accept our 'punishment'. When they do this, as my family have done, then I think it's time to break ties.

There are consequences to hurting people. They have to accept these consequences or at the very least we have to show them that they don't get away with cruelty. Being normal and reacting normally to appalling treatment is hopefully the way to reach their authentic self, if that is still possible.

40

We missed you at the meetings

by punkofnice in

a vomit inducing comment.. i asked why do they have to specify 'meetings'?

they never miss us in tesco or the showcase cinema bar.. in their defence, a friend of mine said: 'that's because the meeting is where they normally would see you.'.

well, if they want to see you they can arrange a meal out or something.

Xanthippe

Look 'em in the eye and ask if they want to meet up for a coffee - freddo

Exactly, they don't really want your company do they! I asked my sister to meet me for a coffee after my father's funeral because we had done the 'necessary family business' stuff for several weeks arranging it and I thought we were ok after that. Did she agree to meet me?

You've never seen such a fuss. She got her husband to phone me. He said they had done loads of studying, prayed about it and decided they couldn't afford to stumble anyone. It's just coffee, I said. More like they don't want to be seen with me because if someone tells the elders they may be dragged before a JC.

No one should have that much power over people's lives.

18

Nice moment today

by Theburstbubble in

so it's been a few months since i last went to a meeting but i've still had lots of guilty feelings about leaving, such as am i doing the right thing, thinking about friends and family, where do i go from here etc etc.

but i think once you stop believing you can't go back.. anyway, today i had a very nice experience.

my daughter had been to nursery today and when she got home i asked her what she had done and she excitedly told me they had been doing pumpkins.

Xanthippe

Theburstbubble, great story thanks, it gave me a lovely warm feeling. I was lucky enough to be out of the cult before I had my daughter, so I made those kind of memories too.

My daughter came home from the Halloween party at primary school saying the teacher announced the prize for the best costume goes to the witch with the bat necklace and purple jumping spider and she looked down and realised it was her! She came home with a book token and a very big smile.

Firework displays are great in the UK. I treasure the memory of my little girl leaning back against her dad watching fireworks with her face aglow with excitement. Have a lovely time.

6

"This is their best way of being in the new world"

by FreeAtLast1914 in

a post from jwtalk.net reminded me of how demented the groupthink is among jehovah's witnesses (http://jwtalk.net/forums/topic/16268-international-peace-security-news/):.

every one who is in the world today and dies tomorrow is in line for a ressurection.this is their best way of being in the new world.

they probably wouldn't get through the the gt.

Xanthippe

To hope 'good' worldly people die before the Big A so that they can be in paradise.

Agree it is delusional. Reality is if all the good people in the world die we're all fu£k€d. They're the people who care about the planet and aren't sitting around waiting for God.

46

Just read this on JW Talk......

by WHATSGOINGON in

just saw this on the public area of jwtalk (i am not a member).

here is the link.. http://jwtalk.net/forums/topic/23523-privvy-news/.

such a shame - i do feel for these ones - i just don't know what to say.... wgo.

Xanthippe

Everyone is so tired - even those younger with no health problems so you are doing so well to hang in there Luezette - you are probably receiving power that is beyond normal. Hugs.

This is what gets to me, this cult is constantly forcing exhausted people to do more, more, more. This is why they're so desperate for the new system. They just want a rest. if only they would see they can just stop and rest, leave the meetings for a while and get well.
Of course the cult leaders know that if they stop the indoctrination for a few weeks they will start to mentally normalise and the leaders don't want that.

30

Who would you like to hear of leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses ?

by wozza in

jw
friends

i'll start off with this one:.

some years ago when i was formulating my exit, i employed for some time an ms brother from another congregation.. i'd had a couple of young "worldly" lads work for me but they proved unreliable as they used drugs or alchohol and consequently would'nt arrive at work and such like.. so when i was was contacted by this brother and spoke to him and heard he'd worked at the australian bethel for some time on construction and wanted an opportunity to learn the trade of bricklaying ,i thought ,"great someone to finally trust and be reliable".

he was in his 40's at the time and he worked like a trojan ,was honest ,really likeable and interesting ,could play the classical guitar beautifully ,had a beautiful family.

Xanthippe

My brother. Only twenty months between us, we were so close as children. People thought we were twins.

One of my sisters. She was such a loving person. She looked after injured birds and loved animals as a child. The way this cult has forced her to treat me hatefully, there are no words.

My eldest nephew. Such a bright child. God knows what they are doing to his mind.

34

Belief in God Can Be Turned Off Like a Light Switch

by cofty in

researchers in york used magnetic stimulation to target an area of the brain called the medial frontal cortex in a group of volunteers.

a control group received a sham treatment.. both groups were asked to think about death.

the group who experienced the magnetic energy reported 32.8% less belief in angels, god and heaven.. when faced with difficult challenges people often take refuge in ideology.

Xanthippe

The fact that lowering the reaction of part of the brain that responds to perceived threat lessens belief in God confirms what I have thought for many years. That threats of poverty, famine, disease, political tyrants and eventual death have driven the belief in God and the need for religion.

Some assert that religion has only ever been about abusive religious leaders deceiving the masses for monetary gain. Whereas of course this is partly true this evidence suggests people have invented and clung onto religions because of the threatening world they have had to cope with for thousands of years.

Which is also why I don't think we can get rid of religion until people have their basic needs filled. The need for food, safety, medicine, politically stable countries.

20

How many of us are 'perfectionists'?

by FayeDunaway in

i made a medium level mistake at work today, and when i make mistakes it really shakes me up and takes me a long time to recover.

it completely rattles me, makes me feel awful about myself.

my mind keeps going back to the mistake reliving how i could have let it happen.

Xanthippe

Yes I really recognise those feelings Faye. I agree it's about years of being around judgemental people. The crazy think is 'normal' people actually don't mind if you make a mistake, they like it, shows you're human. I do still feel horror for a while after making a mistake, waiting for the sky to fall, although it doesn't last long now before the feeling subsides. Good thread, many people will relate to this I think.

101

My mom passed away yesterday....

by minimus in

jw
friends

thank you all for your sincere encouragement during these last few weeks.

finally, she is at peace.

i was with her , holding her hand when she died.

Xanthippe

I'm so sorry for your loss Minimus but I'm glad you were there with your mother to say goodbye. Look after yourself at this stressful time.