Oh Leela I am so sorry the cult mind-controlled your family to that extent. You've been through so much my heart goes out to you. I will try and answer a few of your questions in case my experiences will help.
My family have had very little to do with me for 27 years since we Da'ed, mainly we do funerals. It was weird seeing them all at my mother's bedside in hospital, but they seemed like strangers. I did go to my mother's funeral at a KH. Basically the JWs didn't speak to me. My dad died four months later so I got together with my JW family to do that funeral. After that I tried to meet up with my sister for a coffee or a meal, I sent her a note suggesting this. I thought after all we'd been through the past few months... No dice, she wouldn't meet me, it might stumble someone.
Then my husband died, they came to his funeral, one sister and my brother plus their partners. They went back to not phoning me about six weeks later. They would allow me to phone them but made it clear that I was persona non grata. Even though I had a 13 year old daughter they didn't occasionally phone to see if she was ok. That isn't good enough for me I'm afraid so I left them to it.
I don't know, your father sounds very abusive to me so I don't think he is going to apologise and possibly he might not even speak to you. I don't know what to suggest but it's good to have you here. You've done so well making a new life and new family for yourself. 🌷
