Posts by Xanthippe

36

Easier to be a JW now?

by Xanthippe in

reading konceptual's account of talking to cart 'witnesses' and it reminded me that when we left in '89 we thought the religion would do one of two things.

get more hardline, consequently lose members and eventually come to an end in some way.

or ease up on the members, fewer rules, less fs time, less meetings, just to keep them in.. all the recent apostate stuff, treatment of dfed kids and the hardline attitude to people who leave or try to fade has confused me, made me think they are harder on the r+f., but i don't think this is true.

Xanthippe

And all that time my cognitive dissonance was destroying me. I was miserable, and even having doctrinal arguments in my head LITERALLY like two people talking the subject out. Not healthy. When i left and declared it all bullshit i felt a lot better.

PA that sounds really stressful, I'm glad you made it out. I don't want people to misunderstand I'm not saying back in the day we had it much harder. Please don't think that. I'm saying the GB are making it easier for the R+F deliberately, to keep members.

Partly I'm thinking my eleven family members still in, one just a baby, may not make it out as it's getting easier to treat it like a church. One meeting a week perhaps and very little else. Without the cognitive dissonance you describe PA life is easier for those that don't think.

It must be surely, because some of my relatives are still in after sixty odd years, been though '75 and swallowed the overlapping generations shit whole. They know how to live with it all, they've found a way to cope with the CD.

36

Easier to be a JW now?

by Xanthippe in

reading konceptual's account of talking to cart 'witnesses' and it reminded me that when we left in '89 we thought the religion would do one of two things.

get more hardline, consequently lose members and eventually come to an end in some way.

or ease up on the members, fewer rules, less fs time, less meetings, just to keep them in.. all the recent apostate stuff, treatment of dfed kids and the hardline attitude to people who leave or try to fade has confused me, made me think they are harder on the r+f., but i don't think this is true.

Xanthippe

A JW said to me the other week, why don't you come back to the meetings? There's only two meetings a week now, and you can go on the carts instead of door to door. As like a selling point.

Yes exactly SBF. The cult is trying to hang on to their dwindling membership.

her punishment was not over with the JWs, she was ultimately disfellowshipped. I don't think I'll ever forget hearing about that

OMG Tameria what complete shits to disfellowship a woman for not screaming when she was raped! To protect her children! She did the right thing too in that situation, saved them all. Bastards!

To be subjected to guilt riddled speeches and to conform to business dress codes is enough punishing for my soul.

Yeah Chook I agree. I'm just comparing how it was with how it is now because I've been trying to work out what's going on with dropping meetings, pioneer hours, assembly days and so on for a while. The hardline bit towards apostates or even faders recently confuses the issue but it has started to make sense to me now.

36

Easier to be a JW now?

by Xanthippe in

reading konceptual's account of talking to cart 'witnesses' and it reminded me that when we left in '89 we thought the religion would do one of two things.

get more hardline, consequently lose members and eventually come to an end in some way.

or ease up on the members, fewer rules, less fs time, less meetings, just to keep them in.. all the recent apostate stuff, treatment of dfed kids and the hardline attitude to people who leave or try to fade has confused me, made me think they are harder on the r+f., but i don't think this is true.

Xanthippe

Reading Konceptual's account of talking to cart 'witnesses' and it reminded me that when we left in '89 we thought the religion would do one of two things. Get more hardline, consequently lose members and eventually come to an end in some way. Or ease up on the members, fewer rules, less FS time, less meetings, just to keep them in.

All the recent apostate stuff, treatment of DFed kids and the hardline attitude to people who leave or try to fade has confused me, made me think they are harder on the R+F., but I don't think this is true. Except if you're a parent being made to shun your kids of course.

Realistically it is much easier now to be a JW. Three meetings a week down to two. Or is it one? One day conventions. You can even listen to meetings on the phone from your living room if you don't feel like going.

Now pioneering's down to what is it 30 hours a month or something? I did 100 and then 90 for ten years. Not proud of it, I was an idiot, just stating facts.

The door to door seems to be almost over. Just standing at carts for an hour or two chatting only to your friends. Hardly any literature to place. We had a bag full of hard bound books. The mags are barely worth opening, there's nothing there.

You can have blood fractions, IVF, transplants ( I think?). All forbidden when I was in. In fact I don't think blood factions were around.

So although the GB appear to be more hardline because of their attitude towards us, in fact for those left inside life is easier. Obviously as the converts keep dropping they are desperate to keep the members they have. The hardline attitude to apostates is all part of that. Don't let them 'poison you against the truth, brothers'. Meaning don't let someone who's seen the magician behind the curtain tell you what's really going on.

583

What is the purpose of life?

by slimboyfat in

while reading the magazines the other day it occurred to me that jws never really had a very good answer to that question.

because it was aimed at young people and it said something along the lines, "if you believe in god you have a purpose, but if you don't believe in god your life has no purpose or meaning".

i think that is a faulty analysis of the situation.

Xanthippe

Obviously there is no purpose because we evolved, except perhaps to be happier than our parents, the previous generation etc. Social evolution in other words. That may mean however a great deal of effort to work out what exactly makes homo sapiens happy. And you thought the origin of life was a deep question!

66

When you were fully in, did you believe that you would not die?

by TTWSYF in

i know that it must seem silly to ask, but my brother and his family think that the big a will arrive before they die.

i tried to explain to my brother that everyone else who has ever lived in the past has died and only jesus has [physically] rose from the dead.. it is amazing that anyone could buy that line.

what crazy cult culture that could make people believe such nonsense?!.

Xanthippe

Yes I did believe I wouldn't die. I believed in the new system. Why would anyone stay in that miserable religion if they really didn't believe it?

12

I'm Going to Break Up with My Boyfriend Today

by LaurenM in

so like the title suggests, i'm going to break up with my boyfriend today.

it's for several reasons, but mostly because i'm not prepared for a relationship.

i need to grow and learn what it's like to be me now that i'm not a jw and learn how to love myself so i don't make the person i am with miserable.

Xanthippe

Lauren think of yourself as the most important person in the world. Cook yourself beautiful tasting, healthy food. Buy yourself flowers. Go to places to see beautiful scenery whenever you can, or interesting cities if that's your thing.

Stop whenever you can and have a coffee at a cafe and read a magazine or newspaper of your choice. Listen to your favourite music always even if you have to do cleaning or laundry. Go to the cinema and watch movies you know you'll love.

This works believe me. I know life is busy but we can all fit in enjoyable things. If you treat yourself as if you are loved you will find you don't miss others showing you love quite so much.

38

What novels have you been reading recently? Recommend any?

by LoveUniHateExams in

i've always been a bit of a reader - but only reading about topics i find interesting, e.g.

natural history, dinosaurs, etc.. recently i've started to select, buy and read novels.. this year i've bought and read frankenstein (mary shelly), dracula (bram stoker), the hound of the baskervilles (a. conan doyle), 'salem's lot (stephen king), jurassic park (michael crichton) and the firm (john grisham).. i have an inclination towards horrors and thrillers.. what fiction have you been reading?.

could you recommend anything?.

Xanthippe

I love Asimov's Foundation. Also Bicenntenial Man. I reread Second Foundation last year. What a treat.

I've been reading the Shetland detective books by Ann Cleeves recently.

I would recommend Solar, Saturday and Sweet Tooth by Ian McEwan.

24

What do you think would have happened to you if...

by LevelThePlayingField in

you found out about ttatt way back in the 70's or maybe the 80's (basically before the internet) and you thought that you were all alone in this knowledge?

what do you think would have happened to you?

no jehovahs-witness.com, no john cedars, no arc, no jwfacts.com and no crisis of conscience to fall back on.

Xanthippe

I left in 1989. My husband and I found CoC in the local library. We disassociated and all of our friends and my family shunned us. My husband's parents didn't shun us because his father was starting to realise it was all false and had got hold of a copy of CoC too.

It was very hard and very lonely. We got degrees and jobs eventually. After eight years we had saved enough to put a deposit on a small house where I still live with my daughter who has just graduated and is about to do her masters. She has many friends, I have two good friends and I get on well with my work colleagues.

My family still shun me but I'm used to it. Until four years ago when I came on this forum I hadn't spoken to exJWs or discussed the beliefs of the cult since leaving. We needed to move on.

Life is good, we travel around Europe, go to the theatre and enjoy life. There are birthday parties at home and at work, we can join in whatever we like. Christmastime, we have a big tree and meet up with friends in restaurants for meals. We never give the JWs a thought or their opinion of us.

Those that have exJW friends and have this forum when they leave are very lucky.

405

Origin of Life

by cofty in

in recent years significant progress has been made in solving the question of how life originated on our planet.. how do you think theists will respond when it finally happens?

as a former christian i know my reaction would have been something like "well that just goes to show that it takes intelligent life to make life", but for two reasons that defense doesn't work.. firstly it would prove that life is not an ethereal force that originates with god.

there is no 'ghost in the machine', no elan vital.

Xanthippe

Xanthippe : " Ah yes JWs separate spirit and soul"
The Rebel: The O.P is " Origin of Life" but the question is raised on a ex JWs site, and I think comparatively few exiting JWs, have thought any deeper on the " Origin of Life" than watchtower literature. My point is for many, you leave the organisation on reasons of concience,then you scrabble to maintain your family connections, and then you get bewildered by the " Origin of Life."

The Rebel, I'm trying to get a grip on what theists think now about the origin of life to be able to speculate how they would react to scientist finding how it originated in this planet. I think cofty is saying the big problem for creationists is they can't accept evolution without having the Origin of Life explained.

So is this life force that comes from God passed on from Adam and Eve or what? If that can be replicated by scientists (Or shown to have developed without need for God) then he's redundant.

405

Origin of Life

by cofty in

in recent years significant progress has been made in solving the question of how life originated on our planet.. how do you think theists will respond when it finally happens?

as a former christian i know my reaction would have been something like "well that just goes to show that it takes intelligent life to make life", but for two reasons that defense doesn't work.. firstly it would prove that life is not an ethereal force that originates with god.

there is no 'ghost in the machine', no elan vital.

Xanthippe

Spirit pneuma is impersonal life-force. Soul nephesh is the living being.

Ah yes JWs separate soul and spirit. I remember now. They need to prove the Bible isn't talking about immortality but eternal life on Earth so they separate the two words, soul is the whole person and spirit is the life-force. I may be wrong but I don't think any other Christian religion does that.
I suppose this affects how theists would answer the op because if they're not JWs they probably see the spirit/ soul being the part that survives death and goes to heaven rather than being the life force that God put into cells and cannot be replicated by scientists.

But then do they believe the life force, the élan vital, the 'ghost in the machine' is passed on from parent to child and originated with God putting it into Adam and Eve? I don't know not having attended a church after leaving the JWs.