Posts by Xanthippe

26

Everyone in a Cult, Doesn't Know They Are in a Cult

by The Bethelite in

jw
friends

that's the one thing they all have in common.

because as soon as you are aware that you are in one, you would of course leave it,.

so millions of people all over the world are in them and but of course are ignorant of this fact.. i was asked many times over the years in field service, the question.

Xanthippe

To me a cult means having total control over people's lives. This has evolved gradually. We had Russell predicting dates that didn't bring Armageddon. I agree he didn't mean to start a cult but other leaders followed him and the end didn't come so they demanded total obedience, unquestioning loyalty in the face of failed prophecies.

The GB seem to think any loosening of the bonds of obedience to doctrine and lifestyle rules would mean the religon would collapse. Also rewriting the history of the Borg and getting rid of old literature so they're living in a time warp.

19

Quick Story

by APieceOfShitNamedTate in

so one night i'm at a meeting.

it's the beginning of the meeting and a brother is up on stage introducing the parts for the night.

he's going through the parts and then he says, "...and apieceofshitnamedtate will be handling our bible highlights.".

Xanthippe

I used to sweat over those talks. Now I realise it's becasue I was trying to get that scripture outline they insisted I use to make sense!

Remember those four 'seven times' scriptures? I think you had to start in Daniel with Nebuchadnezzar going bonkers then you had to count days as years with another scripture and somehow arrive at 1914 with Jesus on a shining throne! Voila!

Trying to make sense of the Bible and WTS teachings for someone with a logical mind is enough to give anyone stage fright.

23

Those that need to see a Therapist / and those that don`t is there a correlation of the two ?

by smiddy3 in

jw
friends

there have been a number of threads / posts here over the years about ex jw`s needing to see therapists for what they are going through , and i can appreciate that.. obviously there are many ex jw`s on here that haven`t ever felt the need to see a therapist ,and i`m just wondering why not ?.

why does one feel the need and another does not ?.

is it to do with born ins as against those who were converts ?

Xanthippe

I would say most would do better to see a therapist even if they don't know it.

I agree, there's so many walking wounded ex-JWs who pretend they're fine. My inlaws mentioned earlier tried to act as if the 55 years they spent in the cult never existed. They even made themselves believe it up to a point.

At one of my daughter's birthday parties they said it's a shame we didn't have parties like this when our children were small, I'm not sure why. Perhaps it wasn't done so much then. I said it was because you were JWs remember? They looked at me bemused and said vaguely, 'oh yes, forgot about that'!

37

2 Gallons of Coffee

by Solzhenitsyn in

that is how much coffee me and another elder went through as we camped out all night until 7 a.m. outside the home where suspected jw fornicators we're staying.

little did i know what a powerful contrast that would prove to be when as an elder i was faced with another case involving the allegation of severe child sexual abuse.

we disfellowshipped the couple based completely on circumstantial evidence of sexual wrongdoing because they simply "stayed the entire night".

Xanthippe

When I began to doubt the 'truth' I did something totally out of character, I looked for my husband's elders book while he was out. When I found it this was the page that astounded me, elders being told to camp outside a person's house all night if they suspected someone of adultery or fornication.

Talk about spiritual policemen! This was another nail in the coffin of that religion for me. No proof of wrongdoing just people staying in the same house, but the lengths they insisted elders go to, to get people disfellowshipped. All done out of love of course!

23

Those that need to see a Therapist / and those that don`t is there a correlation of the two ?

by smiddy3 in

jw
friends

there have been a number of threads / posts here over the years about ex jw`s needing to see therapists for what they are going through , and i can appreciate that.. obviously there are many ex jw`s on here that haven`t ever felt the need to see a therapist ,and i`m just wondering why not ?.

why does one feel the need and another does not ?.

is it to do with born ins as against those who were converts ?

Xanthippe

nope--never needed that sort of help. but then I never believed in god
and all that crap anyway.
Stan that's actually very helpful because I've always suspected many JWs don't believe in God. If you really don't have any faith to be torn apart by discovering you've been raised in a cult then why would you need help?

23

Those that need to see a Therapist / and those that don`t is there a correlation of the two ?

by smiddy3 in

jw
friends

there have been a number of threads / posts here over the years about ex jw`s needing to see therapists for what they are going through , and i can appreciate that.. obviously there are many ex jw`s on here that haven`t ever felt the need to see a therapist ,and i`m just wondering why not ?.

why does one feel the need and another does not ?.

is it to do with born ins as against those who were converts ?

Xanthippe

A lot of older people like yourself don't want to see a therapist smiddy. Stiff upper lip and all that. I've spoken to three counsellors since leaving the cult because it's not good to bottle things up and I needed someone neutral to talk to, simple as that.

When my husband died my parents in law refused therapy. They just carried on the way they always have, her with her OCD, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Him with his depression alternating with narcissism. Yeah, they were fine, they didn't need any silly talking therapy.

9

Anybody been to the therapist to talk about the Jdub stuff? What did they think of it?

by nowawake14 in

jw
friends

what was their view of jdub rules?.

what was their view on the dfing thing?.

did they get pissed and think it was a cult?.

Xanthippe

I've spoken to three counsellors but I was only lucky with one of them, her relatives were JWs. She said when they all visited her mother in law her children were made to play in a different room from the JW kids because they were considered bad associations! You have to keep looking if the counsellor doesn't have the right knowledge or experience.

45

Do any of you born into the cult feel like your mental growth was stunted?

by rockemsockem in

being born in to me was devastating.

when you are a child born in and raised with the they vs us and they are evil and worldly and going to die.

not allowed to form relationships with anyone not one of you.

Xanthippe

The relationship thing was a problem I agree. Having raised my daughter away from the cult and watched her attitude to people I saw she was much more accepting of people than I was.

It can leave you feeling weird and odd but I decided to fight it. Volunteering for a mental health charity, making friends through meetup groups, doing a degree course all taught me that there's lots of reasons for feeling weird and for having a bad start in life. Many people have been stunted mentally and have ongoing mental health problems and low self esteem for all sorts of reasons.

Although I will say this, my daughter is twenty-four now and she has lots of friends she made as school and university. Sometimes they have those chats over wine (well shots I think) where they talk about weird family. I say to her everyone has weird relatives. She says when she describes her JW relatives (my family) and her ex-JW relatives, my husband's family, they all chorus 'you win, they're the weirdest people we've ever heard about'. 😂

5

loneliness.

by zeb in

jw
friends

"loneliness is to endure the presence of one who does not understand."--hubbard..

and,.

"loneliness is to be in close propinquity of someone who has ceased to communicate"- germaine greer.. any others..?.

Xanthippe

'Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room'. -

Douglas Coupland

4

Share the meal

by Diogenesister in

watchtower belonged to the un and yet i guarantee they offered no help to the needy .

theres an app you can download onto your phone called.

share the meal.

Xanthippe

Great idea Diogenesister! I give to UNICEF every month by direct debit. It's only about £4 but it's what they need, regular money so they can help hungry and sick children. They also have a fantastic immunisation program, with workers sometimes walking into mountainous and far flung places with syringes in packs on their backs! Brilliant organisation.