Posts by Satanus

23

Apostate minimum qualifications

by Mum in

jw
friends

i was a baptized jw, so now i, to the best of my understanding, am regarded as an apostate by jw's in good standing.. my daughter was never baptized, but she so wants to be an apostate that i have taken pity on her and decided to find out if she qualifies anyway.

she was brought up as a jw.

after i left her dad, she mostly lived with him so that the indoctrination could continue.. she lost her religion anyway, so is there any hope for her to be considered an apostate.

Satanus

Mum

It's certainly encouraging to see this interest in apostacy. It took me a whole year of posing tough questions to elders, friends, jw workmates, and family before i was dfd as an apostate. However there are easier ways. The honorary titles bestowed by those on this thread are good. However, to aleviate all doubt of apostateness in your daughters mind, the following will help.

Have her make a placard with 'down w jehovah, up w satan', or 'jehovahs witnesses are liars', or 'the wt is a snare and a racket' or something similar. Then there remains but one step to guarantee her stature as a fullblooded apostatess. Choose a sunday, and stand with the placard across the street from a kingdom hall for several hours as jws go in and out. You could stand w her to make it easier. At most, she will recieve some jeers or laughter. True, it won't be equal to the inquisition style judicial meetings most of us have gone through, but she will likely feel a bit of the sting that it conveys a jw to full apostacy standing.

Wishing you and your many apostate years
SS

32

Another WT lie from Ground Zero..

by Patriot in

jw
friends

i have been very busy lately but i had to stop for a few and write this.. it is beyond me why the wts has the need to not only lie but to keep making stuff up as they go along.

the latest being an experience related to the jws at my local hall (a friend of mine who still goes told me).

was visiting this week and related the following account:.

Satanus

patriot

Could you give a date when the 5 block perimiters were set up?

Thanks SS

17

For JWs: Ducking the Hard Questions

by Room 215 in

jw
friends

``i mean, what have they eery been right about?

'' ``what have they ever done to merit such relfecxive, unflinching loyalty?''.

these two questions i've posited several times to the apologists on this bards, with nary a response to date.

Satanus

Yo

>Although the world was involved in WWII, he said that a period of peace would soon come.

He predicted that the war would end? Wow, that was a daring prediction. Havn't all wars ended sooner or later?

SS

6

Saint Bubba's Gospel

by Satanus in

jw
friends

the gospel according to .

st. bubba .

chapter one .

Satanus

UB

Do you think what i posted is just a stupid parody? There is a message in it this time. I would have thought that you of all people would get it.

SS

51

Sum everything up with just one sentence???

by Celtic in

jw
friends

what you got to say, in a nutshell?.

peace.

celtic

Satanus

Natural vanilla ice cream.

24

What is the narrow gate?

by YoYoMama in

jw
friends

matthew 7:13-14 .

go in through the narrow gate; because broad and spacious is the road leading off into destruction, and many are the ones going in through it; whereas narrow is the gate and cramped the road leading off into life, and few are the ones finding it.

"

Satanus

The narrow gate, through which only those who are in the new covenant are able to pass. You must be born again etc. Guess that leaves you outside gnashing your teeth, eh, yoyo??

20

Let's meditate on these scriptures

by YoYoMama in

jw
friends

2 peter 2:1-22.

2 however, there also came to be false prophets among the people, as there will also be false teachers among you.

these very ones will quietly bring in destructive sects and will disown even the owner that bought them, bringing speedy destruction upon themselves.

Satanus

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzoooooOOOOOOhhhhhhmmmmmmmmzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ

6

Saint Bubba's Gospel

by Satanus in

jw
friends

the gospel according to .

st. bubba .

chapter one .

Satanus

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO
ST. BUBBA

CHAPTER ONE
Bubba maketh a sacrifice; the LORD doth appear, and putteth the smack down

IN the beginning was the Word, and the Word had too many syllables, and the Word had only one syllable, and that was still too many for Bubba.
2. And Bubba lived deep in the land of Dix-ie, a fair country, where the smell of gunpowder and barbeque was thick among the trees.
3. And Bubba did have a double-wide, in which there was a TV set. And it came to pass that satellite TV came into the land of Dix-ie. And Bubba did rejoice exceedingly at the coming of satellite TV, because of the porn thereof.
4. And Bubba spat out his chaw onto the linoleum floor of his trailer so that he might speak. And he spake, This here's mighty fine porn, and yea, there is NASCAR racing and WWF in abundance. For these things, we give thanks to the LORD.
5. And Bubba did take his dawg Skeeter out back among the rusty car parts, and even among the old tires did he take him. And Bubba did anoint Skeeter with Quaker State, and prepare to offer Skeeter unto the LORD with his 10-gauge.
6. But Skeeter was lousy with fleas and mange. And he had eaten of the neighbour's cat, and did puketh, even at the moment of sacrifice. Yea, he did puketh mightily.
7. And therefore in the sky there was a noise as of thunder, and the voice of the LORD did speak at Bubba's feet, from a rusty paint can.
8. And the paint can did flame, but was not consumed.

Read the rest of st bubbas gospel @ http://www.haidi.org/ulrojr/bubba.html

151

Intro's quote-o-rama

by Introspection in

i guess i've been inspired by stephen's quote threads, so i'm going to start one myself.. not one particular author here, just whatever i can find:.

q: why do you think that people are so protective of their egos?

why is it so hard to let go of one's ego?.

Satanus

23
On a certain day, the monks were told to gather in the Great Hall The Master held up a glass of water, and shook it gently.
"The mind is like this glass of water," he said. "As long as it's stirred up, the impurities float everywhere, and taint every drop. Through meditation, the impurities settle to the bottom, and the water becomes pure as mountain rain."
A monk who was listening stood up and groaned. He grabbed the glass, and poured it over the Master's head.
The Master raised a dripping eyebrow. "You disapprove of today's lesson?"
Instead of answering, the monk held up the empty glass and shook it vigourously.
"How old are you, anyway?" he snarled. "The mind is nothing like a glass of water. It's like this glass of emptiness. Where are the impurities? Stir it all you want, or let it sit for a thousand years. Either way, it doesn't matter a sweet god-damn."
A second monk groaned, then stood up and grabbed the glass.
"What is this, amateur night?" cried the Master.
The monk threw the glass across the room, where it shattered with a loud crash.
"You both should still be wearing diapers," he shouted. He raised his hand as if holding a glass, and pointed to the empty space. "Where is the glass? Where is the water? Where is the container that could hold emptiness?"
A third monk stood up, panic-stricken, and pointed to the broken glass. "Oh my God, the emptiness! He spilled it! It's going everywhere!"
"Okay," yelled the Master. "You three—all of you—out of here! Get lost!"
The three monks looked at each other, shrugged, and left.
Silence fell.
"What just happened here?" whispered a monk with an alarmed look on his face.
"Graduation day," said his friend. "You know, sometimes I wish they'd just give out diplomas."

There are more @ http://www.haidi.org/ulrojr/koans.html

5

Book Burning!!

by Pork Chop in

jw
friends

you guys are going to love this one.

can't say i've ever seen a book burning down at the old kh.

feel free to turn it into a link.. http://www.alamogordonews.com/stories/0,1002,9596%257e295774,00.html.

Satanus

Out

Highlight, copy and paste the whole url.

Pork

I remember the wt asking us to get rid of some of their own books. I believe one was the 'lamp' book. It was yellow. It had some pages where a jw could permanently record their baptismal date. Go figure.

SS