Best to be honest and tell him as much as he needs to know to understand your behaviour and emotions. Your leaving the org is going to affect you for a while yet. He needs to know a little bit about what you're going through as you'll need his support if he can give it. If he can't give you any support then you're best without him for now as it will just be an additional emotional pressure. I'm very lucky I am going through the "leaving" journey with a very supportive and understanding boyfriend. He has never once criticised the JWs and even defends them when I am critical. He also doesn't judge me for the fact that I am still going to the meetings while in a relationship that's fairly and squarly against JW beliefs. This has helped me to see things in a balanced way - also from his perspective he knows I could never blame him for my leaving the org because I know my leaving is because of my beliefs and my opinions alone. I really hope all goes well for you.
krejames
JoinedPosts by krejames
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Should i tell him what is really going on with me? I care about him so much.
by make yourself infor some reason the doubts came lurking back again.
i know this religion is messed up because a person should not be having creeping doubts surface up like this.
i have not posted or logged on to this site in a very long time.
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Rutherford's love letter to Hitler
by irondork inhas anyone ever thought to send a copy of rutherford's letter to hitler & declaration of facts to the holocaust museum in washington, d.c.?
they have and entire section dedicated to the jehovah's witness in that museum.
i would hate for tourists to visit the museum and not get the whole story.. i would also assume there are jw displays at other holocaust museums around the world.
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krejames
Rutherford's letter to Hitler was the most recent stumbling block to me. I was shocked when I read it on the JW Facts site recently. I wondered how JWs could point the finger at the Catholic Church for cosying up to Hitler when they had written this apparently anti-semitic and pro-nazi letter. However, I want my journey from the borg to be based on facts and not sensationalism or hearsay, so I have been doing my own research on this, this evening. A key matter for me was to find out if Jewish people considered JWs anti-semitic, having known about the letter and the Declaration...
The answer is "no". The Jewish Virtual Library (www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org) has a section on Jehovah's Witnesses. It is a wholly positive article. It says "initially, Jehovah's Witnesses attempted to fend off Nazi attacks by issuing a letter to the government in October 1934..." They make no suggestion that JWs were pro Nazi or anti-semitic.
The Wikipedia article on the Jw Declaration of Facts quotes a couple of secular historians (1) Detlef Garbe. He acknowledged the witnesses were trying to make a good impression on the German Government but said that, in repudiating accusations that the witnesses had received financial support from the Jews, the religion clearly distanced itself from another group under persecution (I'm wondering whether that's referring ot the Christadelphians). He noted the use of anti-jewish slogans in the document....but said the Witnesses were not guilty of anti-semitism. Yet Garbe said that the Declaration's description of the Anglo-American empire as the "most oppressive empire on earth" did undermine the religion's claims to political neutrality. He also said later publications misrepresented the Delcaration as a "resolution of protest" and criticised the society's attempts to blame the German Branch leader for "the society's attempt to adapt".
It's interesting that the historian no.2, James Penton is the only one who scathingly accuses the JWs of being anti-semitic and he was an ex-jehovah's witness. So, like many of us on this discussion board, hardly unbiased.
I guess in light of the above and seen in context of the times, as elaborated on by Detlef Garbe, it's difficult to remain quite as shocked as I was initially. Sorry if this seems rather apologetic but this has taken the heat and shock value out of the argument for me. But nevertheless it's unsavoury that the GB has been less than candid about its past once again.
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What REALLY Convinced You To Leave/Lose Faith in JWs?
by Recovery inid like to know what personally convinced you jws are wrong about a particular doctrine/practice, that they are not gods true.people and/or what made you leave emotionally/physically.
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What REALLY Convinced You To Leave/Lose Faith in JWs?
by Recovery inid like to know what personally convinced you jws are wrong about a particular doctrine/practice, that they are not gods true.people and/or what made you leave emotionally/physically.
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krejames
I guess I can't say I have left the org yet, though I have left mentally. Like others that have posted the process for me is the "pack of cards" effect (I'm still on my journey).
1. The first thing was accepting that I had been born into the "truth" and was gay, then realising that everything I had read in the literature about homosexuality was, basically, crap. No support for gay "born ins". Most literature experiences related to promiscuous, drug-addicted cross dressers who came into the truth and then were "cured" (i.e. got married and had umpteen kids). I knew from my research that there is not one documented example of scientific proof that anyone has been abole to change from being homosexual to heterosexual - even if they had managed to change their behaviour. Even though the org's attitude softened somewhat more recently (and has now apparently toughened again), I realised that any acknowledgment by the GB that there were gay people being born in the truth, who hadn't chosen a "lifestyle" etc was either never going to happen or is a long way off.
2. It took a long time for the implications of the above to sink in. Once it did, I realised if the printed material about "gays" was wrong, what else was wrong?
3. The idea of "shunning" disfellowshipped ones was completely alien to everything I felt morally. Despite the fact I thought the Bible supported it (now I know that's not necessarily the case), I couldn't get my head or my heart around it. Also two of my closest friends fell away from the truth (not difellowshipped) and suddenly everything they did in their lives (one got married to a non-JW and now has three lovely kids) was spoken of by JWs with an edge of suspicion and judgement. I couldn't "not" keep in touch with them. They were my friends whether they were "in the truth" or not.
4. Despite on the whole having no personal issues or conflicts with elders or others, I had long felt that the normal every day "busy-bodying" just isn't christian. The group of friends I was (am) left with in the "truth", despite being lovely in most ways, talk about their friends' and even their family's welfare in terms of whether they go out on the field service or get to every meeting. This really really annoys me. If I ask after someone I am not asking for a report on their "spirituality". I couldn't careless about that - it's none of my business. I just want to know if they are in good health and happy.
5. Ray Franz's Crisis of Conscience confirmed to me what I already knew (see 1 and 2 above). I had come across the redefining of "fornication" in the 70s from my research into homosexuality in the literature, but the experience of the woman from South Africa who was disfellowshipped for re-marrying after divorcing her first husband even though he had had anal sex with a woman (which wasn't considered fornication at the time)....How could Jesus be directing this kinds of ridiculousness?
6. The failed predictions hadn't really been an issue for me - I had always swallowed the org's blurb on that (the "some witnesses were over enthusiastic" argument). But it was the GB's attitude to reporting this stuff - blaming the rank and file witnesses for believing it - that really gets to me.
7. Researching the "cross". While I totally accepted that veneration of the cross is wrong and unscriptural, I realised there were absolutely no grounds to be dogmatic that Jesus died on a stake and not a cross. Basically no one can be absolutely sure either way.
8. Realising that much of the "evidence" in the Reasoning book about the Last Days is quoted out of context or completely made up. For instance there is no evidence that the number or seriousness of earthquakes have increased since 1914. I was brought up to belive that the numbe in the last days outnumbered all earthquakes in precending history. This is simply not true.
That's just for starters...
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Cedars...I took you up on the song challenge....
by diana netherton inbillions and billions of corpses,.
each one deserved to die.. billions there are on billions, .
billions and billions of dead ones,.
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Cedars...I took you up on the song challenge....
by diana netherton inbillions and billions of corpses,.
each one deserved to die.. billions there are on billions, .
billions and billions of dead ones,.
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krejames
Of course it's set to the old melody. Silly organizational rules to scrap perfectly good old melodies don't apply here on JWN!!
Glad to hear it! It's...erm...sacriledge how some of those lovely songs have been tampered with. song abuse! Maybe I'll to Diana's words next time the song comes up at the meeting. i'll let you know how long it take for me to be ejected from the hall
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Cedars...I took you up on the song challenge....
by diana netherton inbillions and billions of corpses,.
each one deserved to die.. billions there are on billions, .
billions and billions of dead ones,.
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What's The Worst Thing About Being A Jehovah's Witness?
by minimus infor me, i think it's that the witnesses teach they are god's spokesman.
they represent his "faithful & discreet slave"....and that they alone are expounders of the only truth and that if you disagree with anything they teach, you are considered worse than vomit.. it's unbelievable because these people are wrong so many times, it cannot be excused!.
as a witness, you must accept every viewpoint and if you (and your family) do not accept it all, hook, line and sinker, you are "apostates"!!!.
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krejames
Hehe funny thread....apart from praying before mealtimes, and I mean PRAYING! Why would brothers feel the need to give five minute sermons before a meal, while it gets cold? I used to say to people (and still do) "where in Bible does it say Jesus "prayed" before eating?" "Gave thanks": yes "blessed" the food: yes...but Prayed?? I used to give the shortest prayers ever when asked...so obviously I was very spiritually weak.
So where was I? I got side tracked on to my hobby horse... the worst thing, as has already been said, I have to agree was the constant guilt that influenced everything about life.
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Message from a JW. Does this sound Christian?
by TimothyT insent a message to a very good jw friend who must be about 20 now.
here is the message:.
"hiya.
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krejames
Timmy - your post made me feel sad. But I have to agree with King Solomon - this is to be expected. From his point of view you are "spiritually dead". It may have been difficult for him to respond to you in such a harsh way - maybe he thinks it's "tough love". He thinks he's doing you good by shunning you to "bring you to your senses" so that you'll realise what a wonderful closetted, depressing life you had with your "brothers and sisters" and want to return. It makes my blood run cold.
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untitled
by iknowall558 inim an ex jw, out 3yrs after spending 24yrs of my life in the organisation.
i spend most of my time on fb exposing the org and having conversations with active jws.
i have recently agree to a 'bible study' with a woman, a grandmother, who is a regular pioneer and has only been a jw for 5yrs.
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