Posts by krejames

17

A day in the life of a fading JW

by dissonance_resolved in

i'm five months into my slow fade and it's going so-so.

my saturday morning was spent on a 3-mile jog and taking the kids to the park, which was great, but i'm still shuddering from the potential alternative.

at the last meeting, an elderette literally blocked the exit to prevent my escape and said she just "noticed" that we were in the same field service group and would i like to work with her in service on saturday?

krejames

Hi Dissonance-Resolved

It must be very difficult, especially when you've got immediate family and young children still in. Hard though it is, it does sound like you're doing and saying all the right things to pave the way for your freedom. Hang in there. The "encouragement by field service" is really tricky - I can empathise (as I am sure many other faders can - in fact this is what gave me the final push to stop going to meetings altogether). So much of the Jw mindset is all about emotional blackmail and manipulation.

Wishing you the best

James

32

Stuff You Would Lose If You Went Back

by Nosferatu in

jw
friends

so we know all the things the wts prevents us from doing, but that's much, much different than the stuff we've grown accustomed to.. for those who have been out for a number of years, what kind of things would end up being abandoned if you suddenly started going back to the kingdom hall?

you know, stuff that you now do on the nights you used to attend meetings, the things you own, the things you wear, etc..

krejames

What Rocky Girl said.

oh and i would lose my lovely BF.

29

Hi everyone !!!

by Durden in

jw
friends

i am durden.. a teenager that is an unbaptized publisher and is trying to leave this damn cult !!!.

i have been lurking here for some time and i decided to start posting with this intro.. im from europe, both my parents are jw's, my parents are both teachers (math teachers).. my parents are "softcore" jw's, they accept all my questions and try to answer them.. i am trying to "convert" my dad (an elder which might complicate things), me and my dad recently had various discussions about the org ("discussions" on the good sense of the word).. we talked about jehovah in the nt, 1975, 1914, gb in 1st century, the cross, "new lights" ..., you know the usual stuff.. and all is going well i think, i think i can "convert" him until the end of summer.. i mean is a logical man, what can go wrong ?

man, when i found jwfacts it was like my world had collapsed, all thoses lies .... but its good now to have found the truth.

krejames

Welcome Durden

42

Why do all the COs have food intolerances/allergies/special dietary requirments?

by Julia Orwell in

jw
friends

it's a well known phenomenon i've observed from jwn, my own cos. a new co we had once who was fresh from being a normal elder and after a couple of visits he said, "well i've finally become a true co...i now have food intolerances.".

i mean, only once did my husband and i ever have a co around for dinner and they couldn't eat this, he couldn't eat that, she couldn't eat this...it was so hard to cook something with none of the zillions of things they were 'allergic' to.. and then after all that the wife couldn't come anyway because she had a naturopath appointment or something.. why do all co's seem to have weird dietary problems?.

.

krejames

Yes it's true - they all seem to have food intolerances and the wives always seem a bit grumpy (not that I blame them)

21

Feeling very sick!

by msconcerned in

jw
friends

well as you all may or not know i am an m.s and trying to figure all these feeling out.

but i have a dilemma, i will be going on a shepherding call with an elder to "help" a family who is discouraged with the people in the hall.

i have to admit i feel the same way they do so how can i "encourage" them when i feel the same?

krejames

Show empathy, kindness and love. No one can argue with that and it's not hypocritical.

37

Prodigal Son DVD, Seen it? Totally Unrealistic to me. You?

by Wasanelder Once in

here's the basic rundown:.

ok so little jw (21 going on 15) decides to get a job with a computer firm.

leaves family construction company to do so.

krejames

I attempted to watch it today. I managed to get through just over 13 minutes before switching it off in disgust and running to the bathroom to throw up (ok that last bit was an exaggeration). What a horrific family of emotional blackmailing control-freaks. Awful!

28

Do the WTS actually destroy all of your records if requested?

by Thoughtless in

hello, sorry for the multiple posts, but this has also been a question of mine to ask.. .

does the wts actually destroy your files if you request them to after you get df'd?

i honestly do not believe so, yet i feel as if you cannot call them on their bs if you do.

krejames

Dear krejames, you are right about the law on personal data here in the U.K, and a young DF'd guy I know got his sent to him, even his report from the Ministerial Training School was included, but, significantly not his DFing details. As he told me, although they are supposed to destroy all the stuff they have on you, there is no follow up here in the U.K to make sure they actually do. If you could prove they still held stuff they could be fined, but how do you prove it ? and I bet they claim to be "above Caesars Law" in this, they will disclose what they hold on you, but only the minimum of that, and I would wager they destroy nothing. They are like the Nazis in this too.

Yes Phizzy I agree. (It would be quite nice to see a few fines being thrown in their direction, I think )

28

Do the WTS actually destroy all of your records if requested?

by Thoughtless in

hello, sorry for the multiple posts, but this has also been a question of mine to ask.. .

does the wts actually destroy your files if you request them to after you get df'd?

i honestly do not believe so, yet i feel as if you cannot call them on their bs if you do.

krejames

Here's the condition the WTS in the UK would be relying on. Once it doesn't apply they must destroy any sensitive personal data from their records (i.e. anything that relates to religious matters and especially the kind of stuff that would be on a judicial committee file)

The processing

(a) is carried out in the course of its legitimate activities by any body or association which—

(i) is not established or conducted for profit, and

(ii) exists for political, philosophical, religious or trade-union purposes,

(b) is carried out with appropriate safeguards for the rights and freedoms of data subjects,

(c) relates only to individuals who either are members of the body or association or have regular contact with it in connection with its purposes, and

(d) does not involve disclosure of the personal data to a third party without the consent of the data subject.

28

Do the WTS actually destroy all of your records if requested?

by Thoughtless in

hello, sorry for the multiple posts, but this has also been a question of mine to ask.. .

does the wts actually destroy your files if you request them to after you get df'd?

i honestly do not believe so, yet i feel as if you cannot call them on their bs if you do.

krejames

Desirous of change:

There are specific instructions that the written files of the Judicial Committee concerning a matter of DFing are to be collected by the JC Chairman, placed in sealed envelope with only individual name on the outside and date and it is to be maintained in the Cong Confidential Files indefinitely if the person is not reinstated. Supposedly they are destroyed after reinstatement, after all restrictions are lifted, and after publisher is in good standing for 3 or 5 years (don't recall specifically). However, most Cong Secretarys are too lazy or stupid or apathetic to bother.

You can "request" anything. Don't expect to get the answer you want to hear.

I don't know whether this happens in the UK, but the only basis they would have for keeping anyone's personal information would either be explicit permission (I remember in the distant past we all had to sign something to say it was ok for them to keep our records) or on the basis that we are members of the religion and have regular contact. If anyone ceases to be a member (i.e. D/F's or D/Ad) there is no legal basis for keeping the records. They must destroy the files if the individual requests it (i.e. withdraws their permission and ceases to be a member) or risk getting a fine of up to £500k for each breach of the data protection act from the information commissioner.

I don't know the legal basis in the US but I should imagine there must be similar legislation

28

Do the WTS actually destroy all of your records if requested?

by Thoughtless in

hello, sorry for the multiple posts, but this has also been a question of mine to ask.. .

does the wts actually destroy your files if you request them to after you get df'd?

i honestly do not believe so, yet i feel as if you cannot call them on their bs if you do.

krejames

Sorry for the typos. on my mobile!