Posts by krejames

23

Experiences With The Elders

by minimus in

jw
friends

did you generally have good experiences with the elders ?

we're any situations especially memorable???

pro or con.....

I can only say good things about the elders in the two congregations I was associated with. In the congregation I grew up in, the body of elders were lovely (crap public speakers but genuine, kind human beings). To be honest they put up with a lot. I used to hear horror stories about the elders in neighbouring congregations from people who moved to our congregation to get away from theirs!

The congregation I moved to when I left home also had a lovely body of elders. There was one elder that a few people badmouthed as being a tyrant, but he was on my judicial committee and I can honestly say that he was the most sympathetic, encouraging individual. I had five JCs in total and was never disfellowshipped.

That said I agree with Leprechaun that they are not equipped to deal with certain things because they are handicapped by the "official" stance taken by WTS. In my case homosexuality. Despite being sympathetic, they did not understand it (though I could tell they were trying their best to) but ultimately they could only look at the issue through "WT goggles".

There were a few WT study articles in the 2000s, if I remember rightly, with a lot of counsel directed at the elders and how they handle confessions, judicial matters and so on - in summary telling them they had to be a "refuge" and loving and sympathetic (maybe trying to counteract the situation in the 70s/80s, that gma-tired2 described). I can honestly say the elders did all they could in my experience, but in the end that's not enough if the basic belief system is mistaken.

28

Hej :) I am new here from Denmark as a member

by rikissalur in

jw
friends

krejames

Welcome on board! You're not alone !

45

OMG Have you seen this?? This site is sooo hysterical. It reminds me of The Onion, but for exJW's

by noni1974 in

jw
friends

http://jehovahstrumpet.com.

i read the cat baptisim article and i doubled over laughing.

one time when i was a kid i asked why my kitty couldn't go to the kh with us and my mom told me that animals were perfect and didn't need to go to the kh.. .

krejames

I like it ! :)

65

Gay MS??

by andysmiles in

about me, i am being raised in a jw family.

all of my family expect for one aunt, who had left but not disfellowedshiped thankly, are in jw.

my father is an elder and so is my grandfather.

krejames

Great post Volo! Couldn't agree more x

65

Gay MS??

by andysmiles in

about me, i am being raised in a jw family.

all of my family expect for one aunt, who had left but not disfellowedshiped thankly, are in jw.

my father is an elder and so is my grandfather.

krejames

Hi Andy. I feel your pain and confusion. You are not the only appointed gay brother I was a gay MS until 2007. I'm inactive now. My circle of friends include a gay ex-elder and another gay ex-MS (the latter is still an active JW but is leading a double life). Already there has been good advice posted on here.

I agree that you will never be happy until you become "authentic": I didn't feel at peace until the person I was showing to the outside world was the same as the person I am inside. I agree with the advice above that you should begin to surround yourself with people you trust, who can get to know the real you. And this ultimately means having friends who are not JWs. There will be some in the congregation that will accept you as a gay (but celibate) brother - but ultimately they will not understand what it means to be gay (the constant references to "struggling with gay feelings" or, as one elder used to say to me, my "emotional problems", I found extremely patronising and annoying).

Your family, if they are like mine and others', will never fully accept your homosexuality as they will see it all through Bible goggles. You will eventually realise this is their issue and not your problem. You need to concentrate on becoming the person you are comfortable and proud of being. There is an American documentary that I found very interesting and helpful, "For the Bible Tells Me So", which is about devout Christian parents (not JWs) who found out their children were gay. I would recommend it. My story, if it's of interest or of any help is here

Feel free to send me a private message if you want to. You will get a lot of support here as there are many others who have gone through the same journey.

Take care James

7

WTBTS' Pathetic Low Ranking!

by JW GoneBad in

1. on-line google search: top on-line bible search tools.

wtbts no show!.

2. on-line google search: top ten bibles.

krejames

Maybe they don't want to pay google to bump up their ranking. After all, if someone's heart condition is right, the Holy Spirit will guide them to the right website

95

Please Share one of your Favourite Quotations

by cofty in

jw
friends

have you ever come across words that resonate with you?

it doesn't have to be a great gem of wisdom, just something that is meaningful to you.. please share, and if you want to, tell us why it's meaningful to you.. here is something that made me nod when i first read it.... .

"fortunate are those who have learned to see, in the wild things of nature, something to be loved, something to be wondered at, something to be reverenced, for they have found the key to a never-failing source of recreation and refreshment".

krejames

"Too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart...o when may it suffice?" (Y B Yeats)

I found this quote as a teenager in the liner notes of a pop album. I didn't realise it related to Irish political history at the time, but the quote stuck with me and it kept coming to my mind when I was going through an emotional breakdown - trying to deal with the gay thing while trying to be a good JW, and yet still feeling like it was not enough. I really felt my heart was turning to stone and ultimately the sacrifice of denying who I was, was too great. I can never go back.

27

Beards....Do What Your Told! The WT Owns You, You Disobedient, Spiritually Immature, Publisher!

by allyouneedislove in

was talking to an elder about beards.

he said that at bethel, only black and hispanic brothers can have mustaches (any actual facts supporting this decision?).

he mentioned that we don't want to stumble anyone so that they won't hear our message.

krejames

It's a well known fact that JWs are pogonophobic but the UK is much more relaxed about it these days. I was appointed a MS whilst having a beard. Yes I did get the occasional comment/dig about it but this was usually followed by "but yours is ok because you keep it so well trimmed". Mind you I was told that if I wanted to have a talk at the assembly I would need to shave it off. I never wanted to give a talk at the assembly so never shaved it off.

Take a look at this Beard Liberation Front

...and this Hirsute Campaigners Heatwave Press Release

Brotherhood of the Cross and Star

by krejames in

i was in battersea park in london yesterday (enjoying the gorgeous weather and riding on a boris bike hehe), when i saw a number of small groups of africans in white robes talking to various people who were relaxing in the park.

one or two were showing scriptures to the people they were talking to.

obviously my interest was immediately piqued and i stopped my bike and asked one of them for a leaflet.. this morning i finally got around to reading it.

krejames

I was in Battersea Park in London yesterday (enjoying the gorgeous weather and riding on a Boris bike hehe), when I saw a number of small groups of Africans in white robes talking to various people who were relaxing in the park. One or two were showing scriptures to the people they were talking to. Obviously my interest was immediately piqued and I stopped my bike and asked one of them for a leaflet.

This morning I finally got around to reading it. The religion is called Brotherhood of the cross and star and I was surprised to find one of the addresses on the back said "Mill Hill Bethel, The Ridgeway, High Street, London NW7 1QU". I did a double take and a triple take . Surely they're not a secret apostate group based in the JW UK headquarters?! .

I decided to look on line for more info. As expected, (and disappointingly) the bethel address appears to be a coincidence (they call their churches "bethels" and this one just happens to be based in Mill Hill). This is a Nigerian religion according to Wiki, and clearly a cult (seem quite similar to the Moonies).

Sorry if this is a bit of a non newsworthy thread, but it was quite a moment. Still, I guess it's another demonstration that JWs don't have the monopoly on "witnessing".

17

A day in the life of a fading JW

by dissonance_resolved in

i'm five months into my slow fade and it's going so-so.

my saturday morning was spent on a 3-mile jog and taking the kids to the park, which was great, but i'm still shuddering from the potential alternative.

at the last meeting, an elderette literally blocked the exit to prevent my escape and said she just "noticed" that we were in the same field service group and would i like to work with her in service on saturday?

krejames

Hi Dissonance-Resolved

It must be very difficult, especially when you've got immediate family and young children still in. Hard though it is, it does sound like you're doing and saying all the right things to pave the way for your freedom. Hang in there. The "encouragement by field service" is really tricky - I can empathise (as I am sure many other faders can - in fact this is what gave me the final push to stop going to meetings altogether). So much of the Jw mindset is all about emotional blackmail and manipulation.

Wishing you the best

James