While i can not answer that i do think Sour Grapes is on to something. Lets think about this logically. A guy typically will be drawn in by the girl here. Another thing to consider depending on if both spouses work, if its just the man, if he was born into the "organization" he will not the skill set to be well off or have stability in his live via work typically then add a wife and kids maybe so imagine the stress . So more undue pressure is placed on them which can contribute to a shorter life span. The wife is happy walking with other older women, making her circle of friends etc. So for many women i think they are ok with a divorce because they get to stay in and keep there circle of friends. I get the impression the bonds between women here is strong than the one among the males, for males it just seems so superficial, fake might be the best way to put it. Just first hand observance. There is more but for now i think this helps explain it.
James87
JoinedPosts by James87
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43
Why are there more sisters than brothers at the Kingdom Hauls?
by Sour Grapes ini have always wondered why there are more females than males in all of the congregations that i have visited?
some of these females are in their 70's so maybe their husbands have died and women just live longer.
or could the reason be that years ago men were the breadwinners and women stayed home to raise the children thus they were home during the week when the jdubs came a knocking?
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17
Newspaper is interested in interviewing me!!!
by dubstepped ina friend and client and former politician just called me.
he knows people in the media and had offered a few months back to see if anyone would be interested in doing a story on what i'm doing through my podcasts this jw life" and "shunned".
of course i was excited but things take time and you never know if they'll pan out.
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James87
Awesome, this is you moment to shine.
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6
Helpless and Very Sad Grandmother
by Brenda Cook ini am the grandmother of the runaway 18year old girl who is now living with her 22 year old idiot.
this person has totally brainwashed my granddaughter and is continuing to separate her from our family.
i feel so helpless that there is nothing we can do to make her see this - no money, no identity, and a servant to him and his family.
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James87
Hi Brenda i am sorry you feel helpless. Sadly she is 18 and has made her choice as an adult. Heck i cant come to understand why people do certain things and they are older, me included. The good thing is she was raised well and eventually when it call comes down crashing and burning she will leave. Its painful to say but sometimes one must leave people to their own and hope they learn a lesson that way. I know you want to move mountains for her, but in this situation it seems their is little you can do.
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Now That JWs Are Encouraged To Use Ipads Is There Evidence of Getting in Trouble on the WWW?
by minimus ini’d imagine that if you have a ipad or ipad that some witnesses will get into trouble.. what say you?
?.
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James87
Yes and no. It’s a move they had to make because of the cost associated with printing materials. No because for the most part most people have internet now, so it was an inevitable move I think. Many people are stubborn believers, when presented with reasonable questions, ideas, they defend the faith with a sense of pride. They have been conditioned to do this.
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11
Life update
by campaign of hate ini haven’t been on the forum for a few years, took a major break to sort my life / head out.. a lot happens in a few years!
is there any meet ups planned in the uk?.
hope everyone is doing well and look forward to getting stuck in..
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James87
You can do it. Just be happy
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5
Masters of the art of Reverse Snobbery
by stillin inthey create their own measure of what "success" is.
the reward for their endeavor is, at best, a sense of accomplishment at the end of an otherwise worthless life.
but in real-world terms, the things that pass for actual success are looked down upon as stupid, like shoveling coal to keep a sinking ship's engine running.
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James87
No you are not. They are blinded sheep. They are not bad people just misguided people who are fed lies to make there lives more bearable. Choice is not something JW embrace/understand. Knowing there is another way would make people question everything. Why do you think they are given the lie that even if people who leave seem happy they are not. It is a form of control.
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Boyfriend force me to study the bible or no marriage
by MuslimWoman inmy boyfriend, who is a disfellowshipped jehova's witness, asks me to study the bible for 3 months or he won't marry me (i'm a muslim woman).
he loves me and really wants to marry me but he is doing a passive blackmailing: if i don't study for 3 months, 1 time per week, in my home country, and without him, there will be no marriage... as a muslim, i believe the bible is god's word so i look at the bible from time to time and would be happy to study with him.
but the fact that he is kind of saying "study the bible or bye bye no marriage" is really hurtful.
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James87
You dodged a bullet and consider that a blessing
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Very Lost
by Jrjw inhi i've been a jw for 12 years and got married 2 years ago.
i'm now separated.
my husband hid from me that he suffered from depression, extreme anxiety issues and a personality disorder.
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James87
I feel that you are dealing with two different issues. The first issue is with your husband who hid things from you and maybe you might be able to annul the marriage.
The second issue i feel will be harder for you, its a reflection and honest look at what you believe or dont believe in. I wish i could give you the answers but i can, this so somethings that deep reflection and soul searching will accomplish. Do you want to continue in this way of life or do you take a drastic change. The choice is completely up to you. I wish you nothing but the best
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75
Confused trying to understand JW GF or soon to be EX
by James87 ini dont know where to start so why not at the beginning.
i was seeing this girl and we hit it off great chemistry.
it went from a physical to a deeper relationship.
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James87
Thanks guys im done. I did my best but yeah the writing is on the wall. Like Dubstepped, Incognito and Saename where kindly trying to tell me its not a failure to walk away. Like enough bs, for me to throw the roses at her face said it all. Deep down she maybe an ok person but she changed so drastically once going back to the JW that she is not the person i met and fell for. I thank God i dogged a bullet here, yes a little hurt but more at this point pissed at the deception or whatever BS she was trying to pull. I understand she has bipolar issues but that is no excuse, I never expected this from her, someone who was at times basically begging me to marry her to end up trying to play mind games on me, its so out of the person i once knew, I feel so deceived. And if this is one of the recruiting tactics to convert they are insane. Foolishly i had to give it my all but yes last night ended everything, the behavior was completely unacceptable.
Ps: Thanks Just Fine i re-read your post with a clearer mind. As much as i still care for her and want to save her that i not something i can not do. She is super damaged but Ive come to terms that i cant save her no matter what i do or failed to do.
Oh and once again thanks for the though love Nathan Natas.
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75
Confused trying to understand JW GF or soon to be EX
by James87 ini dont know where to start so why not at the beginning.
i was seeing this girl and we hit it off great chemistry.
it went from a physical to a deeper relationship.
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James87
Well its been a constant fight guys and gals. Im trying my best to make things work but sometimes one can only do so much. We had a great Saturday like a real couple to come sunday that i have to sit else where in the meeting but later with me calling we meet up and have dinner together. Monday was normal i think, Tuesday after i sent her a good morning text replies friendly and then i dont hear from her for the rest of the day. I finally call her up at night time to see if she is ok and she goes off on the i dont have to tell you anything i am devoting my life to Jehovah type speech. Im in the area studying at the library and then when she questions why i am not driving home agrees to see me for a little bit. She cook something for me, meets me is like a totally different person at first a little pissed but then face to face she is back to normal smiling laughing loving kissing type. Ok problem solved right. Wednesday i have a long day but take time out of my schedule to see her later that night. She calls me up all seems good she is laughing i am taking care of some errands and volunteering at a food drive, i save her some food at her request. Later in the day i call her up she was taking a nap and was getting ready for her class but seems a little moody saying i have to get ready and that calls are for summary not to just talk, i found that strange but i was busying taking care of other matters. Then she texts me to not be late, i go out of my way to buy her meat and i pick the reddest roses the fresh market has. Everything is far away so it take some time. She calls me but then is like a little impatient and has the calls all under a min when i am trying to talk to her more she is like im going to drive. At this point im like ok why is she acting this way. We agree to meet up at this place near her place since she was getting gas. She calls me a few times im a little ticked off at her attitude so i let it go to voice mail. When i get there she is like i didnt feel safe so i went home. Bring the food tomorrow, i tell her no im like 2 mins away and will bring the food now. I get there she seems mad, she is like why are you late, not a thank you mind you. OK. Im like i brought a lot of stuff and i cant come tomorrow. She then still in her moody self is like you dont understand i need to read the driving book and get the book tomorrow at the dmv. Im like i got you the book, she is like in a negative way says im going to take my driving test tomorrow. At this point im like WTF, why wouldnt you tell me this, i would have made time to be there to support you get balloons etc, thats what couples do. Instead she is like " i dont have to tell you anything". She finally looks at the bag with the roses and throws it to the floor and says i can call the cops because you are here. Im like go ahead and call, im here because you asked me to come, then she is like i dont want problems because she lives in an efficiency, im like your moving out in a month, she gets even madder. At this point she starts her yelling and im look why didnt you tell me about the driving test, why this lack of trust or i dont know the right word her but one does not treat there other half or even a friend like this, its like im the enemy again. Seriously at this point i get so mad i pick up the Red Roses from the floor and throw them at her face in disgust. She is in complete shock, i tell her simply " look i have always treated you with respect but if you act like a savage to me i will treat you accordingly. If she was a volcano she would have exploded. She goes inside and like clock work blocks me.
Im not one to lose my temper but when i take time out of my busy day (which we agreed on), money which i worked for, love out of my heart and someone acts that way something has got to give. Its kinda hard to imagine getting baptized would magically make her a great wife or what ever bs. If someone is doing you a favor taking time, money, love etc all for you and you act like a savage person its is insane