Posts by Phoebe

45

What did NOT get you out?

by problemaddict 2 in

i realize this is odd, but a "how you woke up" thread and the personal stories that are told which i know we all enjoy, made me think of this.

in helping my wife and a couple others get the ball rolling, i realized the thing that resonated with me, didn't even move the needle with them.

i wanted to rail on and on about blood, because that was my conduit to waking up, but for my wife it was about shunning.

Phoebe

I didn't leave for most of the reasons people seem to have left. In my mind I justified all the the things my husband was telling me about the organization.

UN? they made a mistake. 607/1914? Maybe it's a matter of having faith in God on this one. Shunning? Leave it to Jehovah.

I could pretty much explain away anything to myself because I wasn't prepared to think it wasn't 'the truth' As far as I could see, I was one hell of a lucky lady to have been born into the one true religion. I wasn't breaking for anything!! I'd faced childhood abuse, you name it and I was not giving up. I was Rahab and I was going to save my family!

What loosened my brick was a talk on the broadcast.

I had ALWAYS believed that no matter what happened in my life, God would fix it. I even had a piece of the WT taped on my computer about how God is obligated to take care of his people. Then I saw a talk, think it might have been morning worship talk - can't remember. The brother said God lets you go through things. He let Jacob suffer the agonising pain of losing his son and all the while he could have said 'hey, Jacob. Don't worry. He's not really dead.'

Suddenly, I realised no, he isn't always going to be there for me. What was I thinking? Brothers went to concentration camps? Where was God? It's weird but I suddenly felt very alone.

About this time, I kept hearing 'It isn't all about you, you know. You have to see the bigger picture.' So many times that got mentioned in talks and answers. 'It's not all about you!'

It was silly, I know now. But through my life of so many hardships including suffering sexual and emotional abuse, my one constant was God and now the organization had ripped it away from me. They had made me see, God didn't have my back after all.

Then I really began to notice the lack of love and compassion among the brothers. People didn't care about each other unless you were part of their clique. If you were suffering in anyway, the most you'd get is 'I'll pray for you.'

I knew I could drop dead in my hall and no one would notice. But to me, it didn't matter because I had Jehovah with me and they took that away from me by saying, nope, you know what. He's going to let you suffer. It's not all about you. I know it sounds daft but I had so much faith God would be there for me - always.

Suddenly, my bricks came tumbling down.

So, if any of you has a JW family that are still in and you think they'll never wake up, be patient. If I can leave after 50 years, anyone can. The right brick just has to be loosened a little bit and it can be in ways you haven't thought of.

71

Wow i do not reconize this religion anymore...

by _Morpheus in

had the misfortune of stopping by the "regional" convention yesterday.

i promised my daughter i would come to sunday afternoon so she wouldnt have to ride home with her mother.... holy crap it was weird!

im sure all of this has been covered on the forum but to actually see it.... just wow.

Phoebe

I share your shock. That was me last year. My first convention for ages. I was looking for the platform and flowers, remember years back people could buy the flowers after the convention. I said 'where's the platform?' My friend said 'we don't have one anymore, it's all on video.'

Then we stood up to sing and I thought wow, everyone knows the words until my friend nudged me and pointed to the karaoke style video they were all singing from.

The music has gone all poppy. I remember decades ago being at Twickenham and one of The Shadows (the band) had come into the truth and he jazzed up a lot of the songs and they played them in the intervals and us kids thought they were brilliant but after the convention we were told 'THAT will not be happening again! It's disrespectful to Jehovah!' And now they are doing it and music videos too!

The walkways had people and tables with card machines so you could make donations.

I was just so shocked at how it had changed.

41

Some prayers really annoy me

by stillin in

i realize that prayer is a really personal thing, but representing a group in prayer has become so full of cliche's that i just want to vomit sometimes.

co week almost every prayer has the phrase "special week of activity" in it.. then there's "please look after the sick and afflicted.".

not so much anymore, "please bless this food and the hands that prepared it.".

Phoebe

'Interchange of encouragement' is one we hear a lot of.

We had a brother whose whole prayer was one long string of cliches.

25

What is the worst type of work or job you have ever had to do?

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

we all need to earn a living.... so just curious, what is the worst type of work or job you have ever had to do?.

Phoebe

I couldn't write them all down, you'd all be sick :( My husband and I cleaned for a living - as you do to support pioneering! This involved being sent by the local council to houses like you wouldn't believe. I've cleaned toilets from dante's nine circles of hell and literally cried 'how did my life stoop this low? I have a brain and here I am cleaning someone else's **** What happened to me?'

But I thought I was doing it for Jehovah.

Best job was as a young pioneer, working for a company that made shoe soles. As a pioneer I walked miles and miles every week, so they put their soles on my shoes and I tested them for them and got paid!

34

7 day conventions?

by HereIgo in

did any of you attend the old school week long conventions?

i have heard stories and it seems like these were mostly in the 70's and 80's before my time.

i couldn't imagine.

Phoebe

I remember them. Wembley and Twickenham conventions in particular. Camping, as well. My poor mum, how did she cope with us kids? I remember washing my hair in a cold bowl of water outside my tent. The brothers had set up a campsite with names for the rows (think that might have been the Wembley convention) Our tent was on 'Salvation Road' The chemical toilets on the camp site overflowed and we couldn't use them. The conventions were so long but as a teenager I loved them. it was our only form of a social life, the only way we got to meet other teenagers and swap addresses, so we loved the long conventions. We'd plan our convention outfits months in advance. We all made our own clothes in those days, so we'd spend hours sewing our convention dresses.

Assemblies were three days - Friday night - Sunday.

When you are starved of contact with other children, the conventions were something you looked forward to. But they must have been a nightmare for mums and dads and the elderly.

52

What "Rules" Did The Elders In Your KH Make?

by minimus in

jw
friends

some congregations were known as liberal and others were considered very conservative.

back in the 1970s a nearby congregation made all speakers who gave public talks a white shirt to wear.

if a speaker came in wearing anything but white they were brought into the library and were given a white shirt!

Phoebe

No white socks. We actually had a talk about not wearing white socks.

No satellite TV.

No video machines - because you'll obvious be watching 'video nasties'

No sandals on sisters in field service.

White shirts only if you are on the platform.

In the 60s no mini skirts - obviously. Believe it or not we actually had an item on the platform at the assembly in which a sister came on the platform and gave a sewing lesson in how to lengthen our skirts!

8

Is there Some YouTube shenanigans going on?

by Crazyguy in

i won't name the youtube channels yet but i noticed something while listening to them.

both channels were christian in there title both had a married couple that had both woke up and left.

both first started waking by up when the man out in service came a cross a wonderful christian family and they explained their lives followers of christ and doing missionary work etc.. both couples wanted to pray for or with the jws at their door but it didn't happen.

Phoebe

I think I know what this is, too. I SAW a video of a couple of exJWs explaining their fairly recent exit from the 'truth' they have started their own channel and then I HEARD a very, very similar couple relating exactly the same experience on another channel. I just assumed it was the same couple only in the latter video they were being interviewed.

21

"We dont mourn the dead"

by HereIgo in

i remember a brother making the above statement in regards to an elderly sister who had passed.

he stated we don't mourn or even visit grave sites because we have a hope that jah will resurrect the dead.

it seemed really creepy at the time, hell, even jesus wept when lazarus died.

Phoebe

I've noticed so many times that when a spouse dies the brother/sister remarries so fast. Sometimes within 6 months. I think wow! you didn't mourn for long. We had one brother here, lost his wife and within the space of a very short time had wife number two who then died and within less than 6 months had wife number three. It was like, well, death breaks the ties so onto the next one. He never looked sad. It was all so matter of fact. I've seen that so many times. I always think why are you so cold?? Why don't you appear to care??

Told my husband if I go before him I shall expect him to be wearing sackcloth and ashes and there better be a shrine to me in the house hahahaha

20

How many here are married to (still In) Jay Dubs? Any tips or advice for keeping the marriage going?

by NikL in

jw
friends

if you are, you know it is not easy to remain intimate with someone who thinks you are basically "walking dead".. any thoughts or tips to share with the board?.

what has been the greatest issue for your marriage?.

need to vent?.

Phoebe

When you are a witness you are constantly told this isn't the real life. Just get through this system as best you can because your real life is ahead.

Before my very recent fade, my husband had left the organization 18 years ago, I always felt as if there was no point to my marriage as we didn't have the same spiritual goals and I totally envisaged a life in the new system without him. Sometimes when he got on my nerves I was actually quite looking forward to it!

It is really difficult maintaining a close relationship when someone is in and you're not or visa versa.

24

UK Terrorists attacks

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i don't know if anyone has talked about this yet, forgive me if they have.

but i am just so, so sad that yet more innocent lives have been so brutally taken.

we've now had three attacks in three months and there has been countless terror attacks stopped by the police.. my jw acquaintances see these attacks as proof the end is near.

Phoebe

I don't know if anyone has talked about this yet, forgive me if they have. But I am just so, so sad that yet more innocent lives have been so brutally taken. We've now had three attacks in three months and there has been countless terror attacks stopped by the police.

My JW acquaintances see these attacks as proof the end is near. In fact, they almost seem to relish them - as long as no witnesses are involved, of course. When we've had attacks in the past and I've said how sad I am I've often heard 'well, no brothers were involved,' As if that made it all right.

I now am even more affected by these tragic events. They say ignorance is bliss and I guess it is. Cocooned in my belief that it didn't matter what happened in the world God was soon going to fix it and all would be put right, I am left feeling helpless and without hope.

Does anyone else feel this way? Or is it just me who has so recently left the 'truth'...will it get better?