Phoebe

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Posts by Phoebe

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  52

  Are Beards becoming more acceptable due to decline in membership?

  by UnshackleTheChains in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i noticed a young brother with a beard being given more privelages within our hall.

  when he first grew his beard, he lost his privelages.

  but more and more recently he has been helping out a lot more.. the cobe is old school and a stickler for rules, but with the hall becoming more empty these days, and the need for young brothers, he seems to have relaxed on this particular watchtower/man made rule.

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  Phoebe

  nope. A brother in his late 60s popped by to say hello to me yesterday and I said 'wow! you've grown a beard!' and he said 'Yes, but the cobe hates it!'

  So here, nothing has changed.
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  78

  Work Christmas functions: Being a Bible Student (unbaptized)

  by rulehayl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi all,i have been studying with the witnesses for more than 6 months and regularly attend both midweek & weekend meetings, and i am nearly at the end of the "bible teach" book.

  my boss is adamant i attend team christmas functions.

  she knows about my studying and potential baptism next year, and has suggested that i attend and just not participate in activities like kris kringle.

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  Phoebe

  rulehayl

  I feel as if you've already made your mind up to be a JW and I personally, would never try and persuade anyone not to be one. It's your decision.

  But please think carefully. This is a life long commitment and every bit of your life will be governed by it. Every single bit. These people of this forum? They've been there, they know what they re talking about. Please listen to them.

  As for birthdays. When you have a child it's the most special day of your life and it's awful being told you cannot acknowledge that day. I knew JWs who secretly celebrated their children's birthdays because how can you not be happy and joyous on the day your child came into the world? And I know others who go along with it but don't understand why they can't remember their kids birthdays. Even my mother, a staunch JW if ever there was one, sent me a card on my birthday.
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  37

  My Cognitive Dissonance is Eating Me Alive (Intro Post)

  by pometerre21 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking here for a couple of weeks now.

  i'm starting to "awaken" and it is all that has been occupying my mind.

  i've always, always had doubts, some of which i expressed to family members who always had the same replies:.

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  Phoebe

  pometerre21

  hi,

  Welcome!

  This wonderful forum is full of kind and compassionate people who will help you.

  I am in my mid 60s and only stopped attending meetings last May after being baptised 51 years! Discovering this forum was a life saver for me. Everyone was so kind and supportive.

  The journey out is often fraught with pain and anguish. Although I always felt something wasn't right, my world still imploded when I started discovering things about the WT like the UN, child abuse etc. The religion I had given my entire life to, had believed in 100%....how could this be happening??

  But it does get better. Once the bell has been rung you can't unring it. Be true to yourself. It won't be easy but truly, nothing compares to that feeling of being set free. I feel as if my mind was locked up in a cage, bound with fear and guilt and now the door has been flung open and I see things so clearly. It's an incredible feeling.

  Please let us know how you are doing.
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  14

  JW Baptism Anullment

  by Farmer Jim1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  has anyone ever successfully annulled their jw baptism?

  especially if they were very young when baptised?.

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  Phoebe

  No, but I do know someone who was baptized TWICE!
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  5

  Youtube video

  by Phoebe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  not sure if this has been mentioned before so admin feel free to take this down, but i just watched this interview.

  i always love exjwfith's interviews but this one particularly grabbed me.

  pedro (broken kite) not sure if you are on here but wow, what a story you had to tell.

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  Phoebe

  Not sure if this has been mentioned before so admin feel free to take this down, but I just watched this interview. I always love exJWFith's interviews but this one particularly grabbed me. Pedro (Broken Kite) not sure if you are on here but wow, what a story you had to tell. Such an inspiring, clever young man and the 'organization' that he'd worked so hard to be part of and was so dedicated to,in the end were looking for ways to get rid of him.

  I love these videos because they reaffirm my decision to leave.

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aL0fqpP_uH8
  
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  37

  Convention “Highlights” - bwhahaha!

  by Muddy Waters in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  taking a walk down memory lane at those looooonnnnngg, tedious conventions... .

  (boy, they weren’t kidding when they spoke about being long-suffering and having endurance!).

  but what were some of your convention highlights, or lowlights, from back in the day?.

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  Phoebe

  Those food trays we had back in the 60s, with separate compartments for your food. I loved them.

  Volunteering in the food department. I spent one entire convention slicing tomatoes for sandwiches, never heard a word of the talks! I loved working in the food dept.

  Making friends - it was our one opportunity to make new friends. Months of planning went into convention outfits so we'd look our best. We'd come home with loads of addresses of new friends to write to. The convention was the highlight of our social calendar!

  I don't ever remember taking notes! When I got older and had kids, conventions were a ordeal. Trying to cope with two young children and a newborn in a freezing cold UK football stadium was no fun. Sitting on hard seats for hours. I remember thinking why are we putting ourselves through this? Sometimes it was so cold older people would get hypothermia. We would say 'the America brothers wouldn't put up with this'
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  22

  Do they even realise how disgustingly immoral this is and how badly it reflects on the God they worship?

  by doubtfull1799 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  found this little gem when going through the daily texts.... so let me get this straight.... god knows your suffering really badly and wants to help.

  he knows you feel like you're at your limit, but he also knows that you are not really - that you can handle some more suffering.

  so instead of helping, he "patiently" waits till you are at your absolute limit, and only then does he help!?.

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  Phoebe

  I've been told this so many times. He won't let you endure more than you can bear. Tell that to my DF friend whose daughter committed suicide at 15. That poor lady has had to bear more than most people could ever cope with and the pain goes on and on for her and what compassion did she get from her congregation? Nothing. Took the elders over a week to be even bothered to check on the family and when her life continued to fall apart they DF her.

  Words are cheap and this day's text is meaningless.
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  26

  ...and so the shunning begins

  by Phoebe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am now officially 'inactive' so am no longer chased by an elder a for a report.

  the congregation i belonged to never had much time for me anyway, i said once i could drop down dead in the k.hall and no one would notice.

  so i never expected anyone to be particularly bothered that i wasn't there and they aren't.

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  Phoebe

  Thank you everyone, you never fail to comfort me and I know you have all been through it too, so you understand.

  I know it's the religion that twists them up, so maybe they can be forgiven. I guess I was always a bit of a rebel because I would never shun anyone, it wasn't in my heart to do it. I have a friend in another country who got DF and the circumstances were tragic. I refused to turn my back on her and I kept in contact via email because I knew she needed support. We were talking the other day on the phone and I said 'see, I never turned away from you when you were DF' and she surprised me by saying 'but I would have you'

  I just don't understand how you can turn your back on someone, my conscious wouldn't let me be that cruel.

  But once again, thanks everyone. It's so nice that I can share how I feel and receive such kindness and compassion from you all.
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  26

  ...and so the shunning begins

  by Phoebe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am now officially 'inactive' so am no longer chased by an elder a for a report.

  the congregation i belonged to never had much time for me anyway, i said once i could drop down dead in the k.hall and no one would notice.

  so i never expected anyone to be particularly bothered that i wasn't there and they aren't.

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  Phoebe

  I am now officially 'inactive' so am no longer chased by an elder a for a report. The congregation I belonged to never had much time for me anyway, I said once I could drop down dead in the k.hall and no one would notice. So I never expected anyone to be particularly bothered that I wasn't there and they aren't. Apparently 50 years in the WT counts for nothing.

  But the two 'sisters' I knew best, were two people I had known and been close to for well over 30 years. During those years even though we lived apart from each other, we were in constant contact. One sister and I phoned/emailed almost every day. Sharing our ups and downs and always being there for each other.

  This sister left the 'truth' for a number of years and was shunned herself for doing so, but I never shunned her. I kept in close contact, always a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear. Supporting and encouraging her. I think I was a damn good friend to her.

  But now, I no longer go to the meetings, she has distanced herself from me. Emails have all but stopped and the ones I do get are almost businesslike. I have never criticized the WT to her but she knows I feel strongly about the child abuse - for obvious reasons, I was a victim.

  The other sister has stopped all contact with me.

  I'm not surprised, but can't say it doesn't hurt because it does. Especially the sister I supported when she herself left the WT. I know friendship in the WT is conditional but I never saw it as that. I was a friend whether they were in the truth or not because that's what friends are.

  I find it quite upsetting that both of them have turned against me. I wish I had walked away from this awful organization decades go.
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  47

  Hoping I can stay

  by allyson in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i started studying with witnesses about 21 months ago.

  started going to meetings in march 2017, went to the memorial and attended my first convention.

  i love it.

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  Phoebe

  Allyson,

  you sound like a lovely person but take it from me, someone who was in this religion for over 60 years, it is not all it seems. I'm sure the people in the congregation do love you but it will only be conditional and you are also being loved bombed because you are new - and they are probably counting the time they spend with you. I know that maybe we all sound a bit cynical but it's because between us we have so much experience with this religion.

  You are comfortable with who you are, do not let them force you to change.

  Keep us up to date with how things go.

  Much love

  xx