Posts by Phoebe

11

Just an update on me

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

hi everyone, i came on here a few weeks ago and told my story and you were so kind, caring and welcoming.

your messages of support moved me to tears.

i was so grateful.

Thank you so much everyone. You have no idea how much your kind words mean to me. I'm taking to heart your words of comfort and advice. Isn't it ironic that I get no support from the 'brothers' and yet on here, in a cyber world where I don't know any of you, I am comforted and helped. That really is a sign to me to finally leave my life as a JW behind me. Yesterday was a turning point. I couldn't stay in that meeting a minute longer,I had to go.

notlaone - your experience has really helped me. Thank you so much.

James Jack - it was too long ago. I've lived with it so long and it's truly damaged me and it was through therapy I decided to seek closure on it.

dubstepped I knew the elders had their hands tied, so to speak, but I thought if I appealed to my abuser and asked for an apology - that was all I wanted from him - then maybe I could finally put it behind me. But that's not happening and my elders don't seem to believe me now, anyway. As for any spiritual care? Nope, nothing from them.

Giordano - Thank you for translation link - definitely using it. When I said to my friend if this is God's organization why is he allowing all this abuse to carry on? She said Jehovah allows things to happen, we have to wait on him!

So to all of you lovely people, from the bottom of my heart - thank you. I hit rock bottom yesterday and you picked me up.

11

Just an update on me

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

hi everyone, i came on here a few weeks ago and told my story and you were so kind, caring and welcoming.

your messages of support moved me to tears.

i was so grateful.

Phoebe

Hi everyone, I came on here a few weeks ago and told my story and you were so kind, caring and welcoming. Your messages of support moved me to tears. I was so grateful.

Well, to briefly recap, my husband left the 'truth' years ago, my kids too, so there was just me and I've struggled on alone. It all came to a head last summer when I was diagnosed with undischarged post traumatic stress. This comes from a horrendously unhappy childhood when I saw much violence and from being sexually abused on two occasions. And yes we were the 'perfect witness family' to everyone that knew us. Anyway, I've given my entire life to this religion (50 years baptized) I've been a pioneer - everything. So with my therapy I decided to approach the person that abused me and ask for an apology (He is a so called 'fine standing elder') I told elders in my congregation and, at first, they were all for going after him but I needed to be in control so I said I'd write a letter. He didn't reply. Of course. Why would he? I sent it twice. No reply.

The elders in my congregation continued to be supportive. They kept saying we're in your corner. We'll support you blah blah.

But, oh how they have changed!

Last week one of the elders came to my house and said: 'of course we STILL believe you, I mean why would anyone make that up? But if he denies it well, what can you do? Life isn't fair sometimes. You'll just have to put up with it and wait for the new system.'

So, clearly my abuser and his network of elder buddies has got to my elders and probably called me a crazy person telling lies.

My husband was so angry with them for the flippant way they spoke to me.

So today, I went to the meeting. I still go because they hassle me if I don't and because I have friends there, but my heart isn't in it anymore.

We stood up to sing the song about God appointing men who are faithful and true and the Wt is about putting our trust in them and I just lost it. I totally lost it. I burst into tears, picked up my bag, coat and books and ran out of the hall. An elderly brother (not an elders) said 'are you okay?' and I mumbled something and just ran out of that place and cried all the way home.

How could I sit and listen to how wonderful the elders were when my abuser was singing the same song in another congregation getting away with it? How could I hear how loving they are when I hear of dozen of cases of how badly elders treat people?

I walked home and I prayed. I told Jehovah I love him, I love Jesus. I want to serve him still but I cannot do this anymore. I'm done.

Thank you for listening. I needed to share it with someone and it helps to write it down.

23

"Best life ever" ?????

by charity7 in

is this a slogan that was recently come up with for jw's?

i've seen it used as a hashtag on instagram for jw's, key chains, cakes, about me biography description... the first thing i thought was, isn't that a little pretentious?

they complain so much about this life.

Phoebe

Best life ever is hash tagged all over instagram by JWs. I agree with nowwhat? the witnesses I know that are happy are the ones with beautiful homes, holidays, good jobs etc. For them, they have a great life with a huge circle of friends. But for those like me and my husband, who gave up the possibility of financial security to 'clean for a living' so we could pioneer...we now have nothing and no one cares that we gave up everything. and depression is rampant for those like us. I hate my parents for bringing me into this. I had no education to speak of, I was blackmailed into baptism (you're going to die if you don't) and look at me now, my entire life has been ruled and ruined by JWs. What a waste. Best live ever??I don't think so.

5

How much have things changed?

by dogisgod in

m'y mother indoctrinated me from birth.

1951. from that time to the 90s things preceeded fairly repetitively.

5 meetings/week, personal study, door-to-door, participate in nothing else outside of the society, no dating.

Phoebe

I was born in 1953 and was the same as you. Three scripture sermons on the doors, three meetings a week, no contact with the outside world except for a part time job to support my 100 hour a month pioneering. Conventions went on forever and Bro Knorr was in charge, but at least he seemed humble as he once queued for his convention meal right behind me. I can't imagine the current Gov Bod queuing with the R&F for anything! Now you walk into a Kingdom Hall and even the elderly have tablets, the kids are reading the WT off their phones, video showings are counted on the report form, half the mid week meeting is video shown on a large screen that comes down from the ceiling and we sing the songs karaoke style from the screen, too. My parents would not recognise the 'truth' today. So much has changed.

144

RC 2017

by wifibandit in

due to last years success, i will post everything related to the 2017 regional convention in this thread.. to start us off.... thanks to exjw reddit user ich3b we have advance notice of the theme (this is not a joke!).

the theme for the 2017 regional convention is: "don’t give up!” .

as always, if you have access to confidential materials you would like to leak but need to protect your identity, pm me or email me: wifibandit1 (at) gmail.

Phoebe

I went to the convention last year, three weeks after I'd been taken to hospital with a suspected heart attack. Somehow I got there on the train on my own where I met my best friend who then looked after me. It was outside, boiling hot, my angina medicine had to be put in someone's picnic bag next to some ice to keep it cool. My legs swelled up and I had feet like fat sausages. It was such an ordeal for me. I enjoyed it but only because I was with my best friend who I hadn't seen in years.

It would have been nice if I could have watched it online, resting at home. But the year before when I couldn't go because my husband was diagnosed with chronic fatigue and we were penny less, when I asked if I could watch it online after the convention (because I knew there was a code to use to watch it online) they said I didn't meet 'the criteria' So I didn't bother asking last year, even though I was fresh out of hospital.

Now I'm waking up to it all and I'm not going this year. It's a real ordeal when you are older or if have little kids. How many times I've dragged my kids to conventions or been at conventions with a newborn baby.

We're commanded to go, why? Is it because it's an opportunity for WT to make money?

13

Didn't G. Jackson tell the ARC that JW's don't smack their kids?

by Splash in

the wt book "family life" (1978) had something to say on this topic:.

*** fl chap.

10 pp.

Phoebe

I've seen little kids have the living daylights thrashed out of them because they couldn't sit still during the meeting. Poor little things. I never took my kids out and hit them. It's barbaric. I would go and walk them around the block or the car park. I couldn't sit still myself for two hours never mind expect a toddler to do it!

I wasn't even allowed to go to the toilet during the meeting when I was very young. I remember once being absolutely desperate to go and my parents said I had to wait until the meeting was over, needless to say I wet myself for which I was slung in the car and told 'you wait till we get you home!'

So cruel. My parents treated me so badly.

15

Wachtower study february 20 - the stress factor

by Gorbatchov in

jw
friends

attending for family reasons, and listen in "oversee" modus to the many comments during the watchtower study.. in my opinion it was a self help article on the subject stress amongst the flock.. leave it all to jehovah and help your self with the bullet points.. what i noticed from the comments is the lot of stress mentioned.

comments after comment they told how they handle their problems.

it is a real toppic amongst them.

Phoebe

I went to the meeting and listened intently to the WT on anxiety. I was hospitalized last year because of anxiety. I'm in counseling because of it. I know how out of control anxiety can lead to serious health problems. But I felt the person who had written that WT article didn't understand what anxiety was. I was annoyed that the whole answer to 'anxiety' was pray about it, go to the meetings, go in service. Hardly a mention of seeking medical help. The answers given in my congregation were often flippant 'Oh I was really anxious this morning because I couldn't find my meeting shoes' - seriously. Is this your idea of anxiety?? It was treated so casually, people laughing over some comments, I felt for anyone in that hall that was seriously dealing with anxiety issues. Thank goodness, I'm now fully aware and awake to it all and can see it for what it is.

99

January 19, 2017 TO ALL BODIES OF ELDERS IN WALES Re: Prerecorded Memorial and Special Talk 2017 - Welsh

by wifibandit in

january 19, 2017 to all bodies of elders in wales re: prerecorded memorial and special talk 2017 - welsh.

Phoebe

It's the first language for many people, who although they speak English too, primarily use Welsh. But I do not see why they've had to buy a luxurious water front property to do the translation.

28

A question for those who still go to the meetings

by no-zombie in

and it is ... why do most at the hall prefer to sit at the back and leave front rows empty?.

Phoebe

I would, and still do at the moment, always tuck myself at the back, in front of the sound desk and right near the wall, so as not to be noticed :(

79

TV commercial seen in the United States, from a Law firm "Asking if you were ever sexually abused by JEHOVAHS WITNESSES, please call".

by Dunedain in

ok, so i don't know if this is "old news", and if this has been seen, and or mentioned already.

if it was, i do apologize, but i feel i have to mention what has been seen on tv, within the past 24 hours.. first off, i would like to say that i did not personally see this commercial.

however, it was seen by someone that i can verify 100% is telling the truth, as it was my own father who saw it.

Phoebe

I do know for sure, that things have changed in the UK & Ireland. I saw a new directive that is finally taking abuse seriously. It is a sin and a CRIME and that parents are advised to contact the local authorities if they wish to do so. There's lots in it and I haven't read it all but it is definitely addressing the issue at last!

I also know that known pedophiles are watched at the conventions. That brothers are assigned to keep an eye on them constantly, even follow them into the toilets.

It's a step in the right direction and probably one that has been forced on them but they are taking it seriously now thank goodness.