Posts by Phoebe

26

...and so the shunning begins

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i am now officially 'inactive' so am no longer chased by an elder a for a report.

the congregation i belonged to never had much time for me anyway, i said once i could drop down dead in the k.hall and no one would notice.

so i never expected anyone to be particularly bothered that i wasn't there and they aren't.

Phoebe

Thank you everyone, you never fail to comfort me and I know you have all been through it too, so you understand.

I know it's the religion that twists them up, so maybe they can be forgiven. I guess I was always a bit of a rebel because I would never shun anyone, it wasn't in my heart to do it. I have a friend in another country who got DF and the circumstances were tragic. I refused to turn my back on her and I kept in contact via email because I knew she needed support. We were talking the other day on the phone and I said 'see, I never turned away from you when you were DF' and she surprised me by saying 'but I would have you'

I just don't understand how you can turn your back on someone, my conscious wouldn't let me be that cruel.

But once again, thanks everyone. It's so nice that I can share how I feel and receive such kindness and compassion from you all.

26

...and so the shunning begins

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i am now officially 'inactive' so am no longer chased by an elder a for a report.

the congregation i belonged to never had much time for me anyway, i said once i could drop down dead in the k.hall and no one would notice.

so i never expected anyone to be particularly bothered that i wasn't there and they aren't.

Phoebe

I am now officially 'inactive' so am no longer chased by an elder a for a report. The congregation I belonged to never had much time for me anyway, I said once I could drop down dead in the k.hall and no one would notice. So I never expected anyone to be particularly bothered that I wasn't there and they aren't. Apparently 50 years in the WT counts for nothing.

But the two 'sisters' I knew best, were two people I had known and been close to for well over 30 years. During those years even though we lived apart from each other, we were in constant contact. One sister and I phoned/emailed almost every day. Sharing our ups and downs and always being there for each other.

This sister left the 'truth' for a number of years and was shunned herself for doing so, but I never shunned her. I kept in close contact, always a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear. Supporting and encouraging her. I think I was a damn good friend to her.

But now, I no longer go to the meetings, she has distanced herself from me. Emails have all but stopped and the ones I do get are almost businesslike. I have never criticized the WT to her but she knows I feel strongly about the child abuse - for obvious reasons, I was a victim.

The other sister has stopped all contact with me.

I'm not surprised, but can't say it doesn't hurt because it does. Especially the sister I supported when she herself left the WT. I know friendship in the WT is conditional but I never saw it as that. I was a friend whether they were in the truth or not because that's what friends are.

I find it quite upsetting that both of them have turned against me. I wish I had walked away from this awful organization decades go.

47

Hoping I can stay

by allyson in

i started studying with witnesses about 21 months ago.

started going to meetings in march 2017, went to the memorial and attended my first convention.

i love it.

Phoebe

Allyson,

you sound like a lovely person but take it from me, someone who was in this religion for over 60 years, it is not all it seems. I'm sure the people in the congregation do love you but it will only be conditional and you are also being loved bombed because you are new - and they are probably counting the time they spend with you. I know that maybe we all sound a bit cynical but it's because between us we have so much experience with this religion.

You are comfortable with who you are, do not let them force you to change.

Keep us up to date with how things go.

Much love

xx

15

Im new to the site. 28 years old, over 10 in exile. This is my story

by Jayk in

it's bitter sweet to find a site like this..i was born in the truth.

when i was 16 i given the option to stop going.

father and mothers family are both witnesses.

Phoebe

Welcome Jayk. You'll get so much love, support and compassion from people on here, so please keep posting.

8

2nd Pedo In My Old Congregation Has Been Discovered

by pale.emperor in

i learned today that a "brother" from my former congregation has been arrested.. the rumor mill was in overdrive (you know how the jws are), my ex-wife and a pimo member filed me in just an hour ago.

both gave 95% the exact details so i take it as legit.... when i used to do sound desk there was a brother in his late 40s/early 50s who for some reason always had a tan and always sat at the back of the hall.

he was a loner, i used to feel sorry for him so would make small talk while i was setting up the sound desk and he was sitting there.

Phoebe

So you've had 2, at least, in your congregation and I've had 3 in my congregation over the past few years. Yet Jws deny there is a problem!

It must be happening in every single congregation.

I haven't seen John Cedars new video but the WT are defending their two witness rule. My husband has watched it and he said it's shocking how they twist the scriptures to justify it.

110

Exjw activists protesting inside a Kingdom Hall today!

by Crazyguy in

spoonfed nomore, has uploaded a video on his youtube site, of exjw activists protesting inside a kingdom hall during this sunday meeting.

several people speak out.

if some one can put a link on here that would be awesome, i can’t figure out how to do it with an i phone.

Phoebe

Morpheus

Yes, I believe their intentions are good. Not everyone is out to make a name for themselves or become YouTube stars. Some of these people genuinely care that pedophiles roam freely in this organization, that people are dying and families are being broken up. I am glad they are there, speaking out. They give a voice to someone like me, who has suffered at the hands of a person who has climbed the theocratic ladder so high that when I reported him for my childhood abuse, I was ignored. I was told to 'live with it' Do you know what it's like when people turn their back on you and you're the victim? It's like being abused all over again.

Spike R said 'fix the 2 witness rule, change the blood policy and stop the shunning and he'll go away'

I'm grateful for these people.

110

Exjw activists protesting inside a Kingdom Hall today!

by Crazyguy in

spoonfed nomore, has uploaded a video on his youtube site, of exjw activists protesting inside a kingdom hall during this sunday meeting.

several people speak out.

if some one can put a link on here that would be awesome, i can’t figure out how to do it with an i phone.

Phoebe

They might have meant well and I was watching it on Youtube, but I'm with dubstepped and Desirousofchange, this will just reinforce the crazy apostate image and will make JWs close ranks.

They will think it's all part of Satan's attack on them. It won't change anyone, it will do the opposite.

What might be effective is a Leah Remini show with heart breaking stories from exJWs. I cried through a lot of those episodes. That might move people if they watch it. Bursting into kingdom halls, no matter how good the intentions, will make matters worse.

But I do applaud Parker and gang for going up to Warwick. Parker said, he very respectfully went to the gate (coached by Spike R - who is a lovely ex-elder) and asked if the GB would see them. They weren't available so Parker explained why they were there.

I thought it was petty of the bethel to turn the sprinklers on when it was raining.

I was watched it all on live feed on Parker's Youtube channel and Spoonfednomore as well.

Rightly or wrongly these exJws have good intentions.

21

A woman without a voice

by SunnyOne026 in

this is my story in a nut-shell.

i hope some of you can relate.

if you can..i would love to hear from you.. i have been crushed and heartbroken more times than i can recount by a religion that claims to be based totally on love and mercy and most of that harm has come from the so called "shepherds" who or are supposed to lovingly take the stray lambs in their arms and lead them gently back to safety.

Phoebe

Hello Sunny,

You really have been through it and my heart goes out to you. I'll drop you a message but please know that a few months ago I came on here looking for support and everyone was absolutely wonderful to me. Everyone is so kind, so supportive. You will only find love here. You've come to the right place.

Hugs to you.

xxx

38

October 31, 2017 TO SELECTED BOEs IN THE US BRANCH TERRITORY Re: Discontinuation of the Funds-on-Deposit Arrangement

by wifibandit in

october 31, 2017 to selected bodies of elders in the united states branch territory re: discontinuation of the funds-on-deposit arrangement.

Phoebe

Well, someone's got to pay for that huge film studio with its plush offices!

32

Stagnation of JWs in Britain

by darkspilver in

jw
friends

this is an 'off-topic' continuation of this discussion.

steve2: in britain, growth of publishers is slowing down, if not stagnating.

darkspilver: .

Phoebe

There is no enthusiasm for preaching among the brothers in the UK. Maybe in the foreign field but not in general.

My husband asked a brother recently how the ministry was going and he replied: 'most people have made up their minds up now.'

And they don't take the ministry seriously anyway. Knock on two doors and off to the coffee shop (oh, but it's okay, the cafe owner knows they are JWs so it gives them a witness and anyway people see us walking down the street so that's a witness too, right?)

Without giving too much away, I live in a rural area. It's a well known fact Friday is Farmers market day. One Friday my husband saw a long line of farmers coming into town with their trailers full of livestock and in the other lane a long line of witnesses in cars going in the opposite direction out to the farms, where they KNOW no one will be in. If the work is so urgent, why do that?

Or the well know 'pioneer shuffle' which we've all done because let's face it, no one likes the ministry.