Jason Zelda does some videos on child custody cases. I think your solicitor should be aware of what JWs are prepared to do to get their own way. I totally agree with Diane, WE know how crazy JWs are but it's hard for outsiders to understand so take everything you can. There is also a website (it's for the US but it will give you some ideas) www.jwchildcustody.com
Phoebe
JoinedPosts by Phoebe
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27
Solicitors Appontment Tomorrow - Advice Appreciated
by pale.emperor infollowing up on this thread: https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5012900121935872/am-overreacting-here?page=3#!#5179106934128640.
im seeing my solicitor tomorrow to see about getting an order in place making sure any contact my daughter has with my jw family goes through me and not my ex-wife.. explained the situation briefly to the lawyer, she was asking more and more about why should i be concerned if a jw had access to my child.. i mentioned the blood issue, the shunning, the inappropriate pictures of armageddon in books/mags etc.
do you think i should bring in watchtower literature to show them what i mean?
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Update on Detroit-Area Murder Suicide - Front Page Article
by lepermessiah inhttps://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/2018/02/19/keego-harbor-jehovahs-witness-mom-triple-murder-suicide/351559002/.
this was on the front page of freep.com this morning - sadly there are some factual errors in this article that people will jump on (not allowed to go to college was in original article for instance - hopefully the reporter will correct it).
interesting reading the comments below the article - all kinds of opinions.
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Phoebe
This is desperately sad. We don't know the full facts but one thing is for sure, being shunned by family and friends would not have helped. Didn't her friend say when she went shopping JWs wouldn't even look at her. Some people can give an appearance of everything is fine, life is good but inside they are dying. We have no idea how this poor lady was suffering perhaps we'll find out more soon.
As for the kids going to college being a reason they left. I can see this. It depends on the local elders. In my own experience my kids decided to go to university and I was made to suffer big time by the congregation and the elders. In fact during one meeting the elder all but named me from the platform as disobeying the organization by allowing them to go.
People avoided me, wouldn't work with me in the ministry and wouldn't even sit near me during the meetings because the elders made such a big deal of how bad further education was.
I also have known of 3 JW suicides.
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In one sentence, can you pinpoint a single event that woke you up?
by Brian J inmy turning point: serving on a child abuse judicial case.
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Phoebe
My single event was the way the elders treated me when I reported the sexual abuse I received as a child. It was totally disgusting the way they treated me. That was it...I was done.
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I feel like I am going crazy at times ...
by CovertsadJW ingood evening , .
i feel like i am going crazy - it’s so hard not being able to talk to the ones i love about how i really feel - meaning the “ truth “ is a big lie and a big waste of time.
it’s so weird - i can’t talk to my wife , or kids about how i really feel and it’s causing me probalms that i recognize.
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Phoebe
Hi CovertsadJW
I wish I could do something other than send you a virtual hug. Others on here will be able to give you good advice.
Ive been reading your other posts. You are really having a tough time and my heart goes out to you.
hang on in there if you can. Waking up is such a painful, traumatic process. A massive shock to the system. Be patient and try to wake up your family slowly and gently. I was baptised 52 years and I woke up. My husband couldn't believe it, he'd been trying for 20 years to wake me up.
we're thinking of you.
xx
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25
...and so it begins
by Phoebe ini've had an email from a sister who tells me that out in field service this morning a long standing route call has told them she won't be taking any more magazines and doesn't want them calling on her again because she has heard about the jws child abuse scandals and cover ups.
she was quite angry with them and said your elders say there is nothing wrong but there is and it will all come out.. this is the first time anyone i know of has been challenged on the doorstep and they were absolutely shocked and also angry.
angry that the organization is not preparing them for dealing with this and for not being honest with the brothers about what is going on ie: lawsuits etc.. just thought i'd share that with you..
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Phoebe
Doc
Thank you so much for helping to protect me.
Don't worry about me.I have a plan. I have listened to Critical Thinker on YouTube who did a very good video on waking people up.
I am very careful. I never, ever attack the WT. I plant seeds and water slowly.
But, even so, it certainly wouldn't bother me to be DF, I have no intentions of ever going back and all the family I care about have left the organization anyway.
As it happens, I have heard from them today and they are planning a short break from meetings/service. Which is very telling, don't you think?
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25
...and so it begins
by Phoebe ini've had an email from a sister who tells me that out in field service this morning a long standing route call has told them she won't be taking any more magazines and doesn't want them calling on her again because she has heard about the jws child abuse scandals and cover ups.
she was quite angry with them and said your elders say there is nothing wrong but there is and it will all come out.. this is the first time anyone i know of has been challenged on the doorstep and they were absolutely shocked and also angry.
angry that the organization is not preparing them for dealing with this and for not being honest with the brothers about what is going on ie: lawsuits etc.. just thought i'd share that with you..
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Phoebe
Ding
thank you. I know it's important for me to not bombard them with info. They accept I know a lot about the subject because I'm one of the 'abused' and I've looked into because of that. There's a tendency to see that chink of hope and give them both barrels! But I won't do that. I'm going gently with it. Waking up can be a long, painful process. Thank you for your help.
Peter.
Thank you for the link!
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25
...and so it begins
by Phoebe ini've had an email from a sister who tells me that out in field service this morning a long standing route call has told them she won't be taking any more magazines and doesn't want them calling on her again because she has heard about the jws child abuse scandals and cover ups.
she was quite angry with them and said your elders say there is nothing wrong but there is and it will all come out.. this is the first time anyone i know of has been challenged on the doorstep and they were absolutely shocked and also angry.
angry that the organization is not preparing them for dealing with this and for not being honest with the brothers about what is going on ie: lawsuits etc.. just thought i'd share that with you..
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Phoebe
A little update to this tonight is that the sister has emailed me again to say they are very upset and would like further information from me about child abuse scandals.For example they were looking for Stephen Lett saying 'it's all apostate lies' on the broadcast but couldn't find it.
I have to tread very carefully but I think I can trust her, she isn't the type that is totally controlled by the WT (for example she still talks to her DA daughter and takes no notice of what the org say on that)
There is a chink of hope here that they might wake up.
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25
...and so it begins
by Phoebe ini've had an email from a sister who tells me that out in field service this morning a long standing route call has told them she won't be taking any more magazines and doesn't want them calling on her again because she has heard about the jws child abuse scandals and cover ups.
she was quite angry with them and said your elders say there is nothing wrong but there is and it will all come out.. this is the first time anyone i know of has been challenged on the doorstep and they were absolutely shocked and also angry.
angry that the organization is not preparing them for dealing with this and for not being honest with the brothers about what is going on ie: lawsuits etc.. just thought i'd share that with you..
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Phoebe
I've had an email from a sister who tells me that out in field service this morning a long standing route call has told them she won't be taking any more magazines and doesn't want them calling on her again because she has heard about the JWs child abuse scandals and cover ups. She was quite angry with them and said your elders say there is nothing wrong but there is and it will all come out.
This is the first time anyone I know of has been challenged on the doorstep and they were absolutely shocked and also angry. Angry that the organization is not preparing them for dealing with this and for not being honest with the brothers about what is going on ie: lawsuits etc.
Just thought I'd share that with you.
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16
Give Love to Receive Love ???
by IMHO inplease help me understand this.
over the years i have seen and have heard of many who have changed congregation due to the 'lack of love' shown in their own.
you then hear many condemning such ones as 'having a problem' and 'taking their problems with them'.
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Phoebe
IMHO
Please do not feel bad, it is not you.
I also suffer from anxiety and I have had depression in the past.
I had been going to the meetings alone (i finally stopped last May) My husband stopped about 20 years ago. Hardly anyone would talk to me and I would sit alone. I mean really alone, no one would even sit on my row! I was told I needed to 'widen out' and I tried. I'd see a group of women talking and I'd walk up and say hi but it was so awkward and very obvious no one wanted to talk to me. I can only assume that it was because my husband had left and my children went to university that maybe I was considered 'bad association'
I can't tell you how many times I walked home from meetings in tears.
To be truthful it was the lack of love and compassion that finally finished me off. I found people would care about those in their 'clique' but anyone outside they would ignore.
If you suffer from anxiety please go and get some help. I saw a psychologist for a year and it really helped me.
And one last thing, I've been shown more love from this forum than I have from JWs. People here genuinely care. So don't suffer alone.
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11
They still manage to find me.
by blisterfeet ini grew up a jw, left at about 17 years old..(i'm 33 now) a little over a year ago i moved 1000 miles away from where i grew up.
today i "ran" into someone in the same congregation as my dad... like how is that even possible?!?!?
he was very kind, mentioned the borg but only in ways that related to his life.. his daughter is a pioneer, my dad gives "the best" comments at the meetings, my sister is awesome.. blah blah blah... .
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Phoebe
It's a small world in JW land. I moved to the other side of the world and there was a brother in the congregation that actually used to be in my old congregation which was in a remote and very rural part of the U.K and he knew all the people I knew. I couldn't believe it.