Posts by tor1500

92

Only a few days ago I was entirely lost and without hope the rug was pulled out from under me

by elderess in

jw
friends

only a few days ago i was walking around the house in a mindless wander thinking if i needed to seek professional help.

then i got the courage to seek the comfort of complete strangers on the internet and found a world of support here on this website.

thank you simon and whoever else has made this website possible.

tor1500

Hi,

I'm so happy you found this site...Just like me & many others....They save lives here..I'm almost sure of it. This site helps you vent, it helps to see you're not crazy, spiritually week, an apostate, it's ok to think, that you can understand the bible without the org. (especially if you can read). It keeps you from going to a shrink and that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

The longer I'm there the more, I know that God is not who they say he is. I too believe in God & that is SO LOVED the world that he gave his only begotten son....I so hope this is true. When & if I leave the org. I'm not leaving God/Jesus but the org.

When I first started to study I wondered why They say God is not partial yet, they say this is God's org.

I've met some nice folks in the org. But they are just a little off. The more time you spend with them the more you see, they have a mean streak. Not all but most.

I'm so happy your husband is on board with you as well. I think to have a mate in the truth and no matter what you show or tell them, they still won't listen. I think most likely they are afraid. Or their ego gets in the way.

I'm going through the motions. I do what I'm supposed to do. I'm not new to religion, what I've found out is that religion is man's interpretation, no more no less....One can read the bible and get the message....Be nice to folks & get ready for God/Jesus to come back.

I was so weepy & happy when I read your story....I would love to meet someone that knows TTATT....that's in the hall...I do know someone but they have issues.....& she is so happy to carry Jehovah's name...so she sips the kool-aide....I didn't read all the post, but there are some great folks on here. I comment now & again...Just to add my 2 cents, it makes me feel better....

I hope we see you again on this site....

Again, I'm so happy that you know TTATT, but better yet, that your husband is on the same page with you...

Beautiful.

Tor

33

How to spot faders or "closeted" apostates in a congregation / meeting?

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

so i am awoken for several years now (never really bought the cool aid) but for family reasons i am still enduring everything.

but my wife knows ... .

anyway so yesterday we had this boring meeting and as i was sitting there trying to make time pass faster i looked around me and i thought who else feels the same as me and is completely bored?

tor1500

@NLAJWBro,

Do you really think it's as low as 20% know about TTATT. I was thinking maybe more but won't say anything. Once I was looking at one of those TV preachers (love him but won't tell his name, but he is dynamite, he makes you look at yourself, not easy). Anyways, when the camera scanned the audience....I don't swear but I thought I saw a DO, I know there are no longer DO's in the org. He has such a distinct face, I really thought I saw him. Maybe I did, maybe after he was no longer a DO, he said, what the heck, I'll do what I darn well please.

I agree with you....who can have the best poker face...One thing we do know witnesses can't keep a secret, but TTATT, they are doing a great job, at least 8 million of them are.

I'm wishing you the best. You'll be just fine...Just don't be angry, as many on this site say, BE HAPPY...

Tor

33

How to spot faders or "closeted" apostates in a congregation / meeting?

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

so i am awoken for several years now (never really bought the cool aid) but for family reasons i am still enduring everything.

but my wife knows ... .

anyway so yesterday we had this boring meeting and as i was sitting there trying to make time pass faster i looked around me and i thought who else feels the same as me and is completely bored?

tor1500

Hi,

I'm sitting here reading all of your posts, and laughing because that's just what I do when I'm at the hall. I participate but I observe how the congregation reacts. I've noticed that when they don't drink the kool-aide, their necks get stiff, their whole body language is different. There are times I feel I may recognize someone on this site as being in my congregation, but NOT, I think it's wishful thinking.

I know that most of them may know TTATT, but as many have said on this forum, they have family in, so they just go to keep the peace. I go because I like the friends, a lot. But I also don't spend a lot of my time with them. I don't want whatever they have....there is a deep rooted sadness in them....even a mean'ness, or the best way is that they are very judgmental, I'm so the opposite of the mind-set.

I've commented on this site a few times....& I still believe that many are in because being a Jehovah Witness gives them an identity, if that name is taken away from them, they would just be Joe Blow Or Josephine Blow. Why do you think they count hours...It's a validation. Majority of them need that. They need to do things to be seen & given a pat on the back. If you really pay attention, it's kind of sad. At times I feel pity for them. Many of them are not even comfortable in their own skins.

When you compliment them, they think it's holy to be so humble, but to an extreme. I could go on, because as someone said on this site...of which I love, this site is way better than going to a shrink & far less expensive....A place to vent with folks that understand.

I love knowing TTATT, I can sit at my meetings in peace. Sometimes on this site there a letters posted before they get to the hall. I love it. I speak with many of the friends, but it's hard not to share what I know. But this is also a test for me, to keep my mouth shut & just go with the flow...

I think about leaving, more times then not. I pray to God & say, if I'm not 'posed to be here....let me know...But God, don't make it hurt, don't let me be DF'd. I'm so hoping that there is a God, so he'll show me the way....OUT.

Tor

27

Damn it feels good to be free and on my own without the pressure to do more as a JW slave

by No Longer a JW Brother in

i don't know where to begin but damn it feels so good to be free of mind control.

i'm only officially out since this past december but i was out mentally for two hot years under the close watch of my batshit crazy psycho parents who bothered me every sunday to see what i thought about the meeting.

it was necessary for me to lie through my teeth.

tor1500

Hi No Longer a Bro,

Good for you. I'm happy, but remember God & remember there are consequences to all that you do good or bad. God gave you a conscience so use it. Don't go batcrazy because you are free. Don't go to the other extreme and do all the things you didn't do while you were a JW. That's what happens when a person leaves the hall & it's almost like they have been shot out of the cannon of life. Life is a balance, have some fun nothing wrong with that. But don't go out & try drugs sex & rock/roll.

You are responsible for your own life, not an organization & I agree with you on how they try to control us, with DF'ing, but come to think if it, they do the same at churches, scaring you with HELL. Either way, man is always trying to control man. Our relationship with God is personal. Halls, churches, synagogues, etc., is supposed to be a place to fellowship to be with folks who love God. They are not supposed to be God's police, better name for them...Tattle talers...

I'm an older JW, & I've lived my life before I became a JW. I made some mistakes but I also learned from them.

Again don't go too wild, well just a little wild but not enough to mess up your life. Make friends, folks that are not JW's are good people. But also there are some bad folks out there too, just like in the hall.

Many religious folks are extremist, either they are deep into the Bible or the opposite, falling off of bar seats. Just be normal.

Don't be too rough on the strippers....but have some fun....

Side Note I know the TATT, but haven't figured out how to get out. I just don't fit. I don't like to judge. I do love God & I think the org. for showing me who God is & his love & him sending his son for us. But man's interpretation of God I could do without.

Tor

11

All JWs need to watch this great documentary...it may give them pause for thought.

by deanxxx in

i know how hard it is to awaken people still inside the cult bubble.

there are many reasons for this, chief among them the unwillingness to read or watch anything critical of their religion.

on the other hand, jws love few things more than hearing bad stuff about other faith groups.

tor1500

Hi,

The JW's could watch anything that may look, walk or talk like them..but they will never admit it...they see it, but won't admit it. You see, if you took away Jehovah Witness, what would they be left with? What would be their identity. That is their identity being a JW, & if you took that away from them, what would they have or who would they be....Zilch, nothing, Zero....

Many have turned their backs on their friends & family who did not worship Jehovah, so now many may want to come out but can't...they have no one. But what they don't know or maybe they do, folks outside the org. are just imperfect folks just like they are. Today there is too much media talk for them not to know what's going on behinh closed doors, but they choose not to listen....Oh, they no it's true...but too embarrassed to admit it....too busy pointing fingers at others...Their pride just won't let them.

JW's are like Teflon, nothing sticks on them....even when they sin, they say, well, it's not so much that they sinned but that they brought reproach on Jehovah's name....None of what we do sticks to God...if we do something wrong it brings reproach on US, not Jehovah. See even when they sin they are not accountable...they throw it on Jehovah...Oh Jehovah I know I did wrong but more than that I brought reproach on your name...Phooey...

Tor

41

Why the Deficit at the Circuit Assembly?

by JT-LadyC in

have you ever wondered why there is always a deficit at the circuit assembly?

did you realize that before the program begins, the circuit is already in the red?

many of the friends thought they were paying for the use of the building and covering the costs of the utilities, etc.

tor1500

Hi All,

Meant to say I do have friends that are not JW's....

Just wanted to be clear.

Tor

41

Why the Deficit at the Circuit Assembly?

by JT-LadyC in

have you ever wondered why there is always a deficit at the circuit assembly?

did you realize that before the program begins, the circuit is already in the red?

many of the friends thought they were paying for the use of the building and covering the costs of the utilities, etc.

tor1500

Hi JT & Lady,

Wow what a video. I'm a JW but a thinker...don't ask me how I got here....LOL. When I would go to the assemblies and they would say we owe, we have, blah blah blah....I said to myself, I thought JW's owned the bldg. So why do we owe. I never said this to anyone because I know they would never even notice it. I know how much $$ this org. has or any org. for that matter. I don't put any $$$ in the boxes, I much rather give it to the friends in the congregation. We all know none of us can go the org. itself if we need $$$. So I think it's best given to those I know that need it.

Again, what a great informative video. I love going to the hall, assemblies & conventions & knowing TTATT. It's a one way mirror, I can see out but they can't see in.

I don't have any family in but I do have friends in, but that are friends that I made when I got there, so I don't have any history with them, but I do have friends that are JW's & I love them dearly & they love & respect me. So all that to say, if I ever leave or get kicked out, I won't feel lonely.

If anyone lurking...know this....keep your non-JW friends...Treat them with respect even if they don't believe what you do...Just a word of advice.

Tor

29

Elder's daughter is after me

by theBaus in

jw
friends

she is michal, her father acts like saul, and i'm david.. i do care for her since she's vulnerable and weak, i consider myself for her protector a personal kevin kostner.but this is very time consuming, nerve wracking endeavour.. she acts childish, insensitive and insecure, i have spent *** dont' know how many sleepless *** nights, in the last 3 months we're playing cat and mouse, cold and warm & i'm fed up.. this kind of irresponsible behaviour is not yet written in the manual for me to look for an answer.. but finally i do know what i need.

i will look for my bathsheba and settle down..

tor1500

Hi dBaus,

I like your handle. You have a heart, (well I hope you do, anyway). Just asking a question do you think he father is a bully or over bearing & that's why this female is like this. Does she comment, does she go out in service, give demonstrations...why all these questions ? Well, just to get an idea of her M.O. I'm a female, and if I want to I can have many personalities, I can rise to the moment. I can be a scared little girl, I can be niaeve (where am I, who am I), I can be a grown secure woman, a globe trotter...you get my drift. On the other hand she may be fragile as she appears, but what's really going on behind the scenes. What is her home life like ?

I like the fact that you do like her & don't want to hurt her feelings, whether she's playing you or not. This is another persons feelings you are dealing with.

What I've learned in this life & I've been around past 50 years, marry someone that is a friend. Someone you can talk to about anything...Love is one factor but Like, brings something different to the table...When you truly like someone you are more tolerant, love runs hot & cold. Folks say they Love cupcakes...

Well, as Paul said if you are burning with passion marry. But Paul was a man too. He never mentions women, I'm just saying.

I know how it feels to like/love someone & they are not checking for me, any glimmer of attention, Zoom to the Moon, Alice. If we could help who we like, we would. She can't help herself maybe, or maybe she wants to leave home but can only leave if she gets married.

The Org. forces folks to get married. When love is new, it's seems like the right thing to do. Last night Imitate their faith, Abigail, the account mentions how parents should not pressure young ones to get married...Well it's not so much the parents it's the org. Folks can only date with a view to marry. Again, the org. has shot themselves in the foot...ONCE AGAIN...Now they have to write all these articles about marriage.

So let her down easy or just talk to her, find out where she is coming from. If she's not playing you or if she is...by talking to her, you may find out.

JW's are immature, because, mostly, they want to be seen as innocent & more holy. Remember, JW's are shrewd...& we all know what the word shrewd means...Some not all, know just how to get just what they want.

Another thing..you don't know her behind closed doors. I'm sure you noticed in the hall, how some of the sisters look meek & mild, but when they get home...yikes. We all know who runs the household...The Females...Because if Mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy.

Don't go for the broken wing syndrome. A sister at my hall, nice as pie, but needy & her hubby loves it because he's DA MAN, yet at times, he feels smothered & feels his wife can't do anything without him...Yes it may blow up his ego, but she won't even carry her own purse...

Forewarned is forearmed.

Tor

105

Does anyone think Jehovah is protecting the org. despite all the talk about THE ARC ?

by tor1500 in

jw
friends

i've been thinking this for a while.

even before the arc scandal.

it seems no matter what, the org.

tor1500

@umbertoecho,

What I'm really hoping for is that many in the org. just wake up, they can stay or leave, it's up to them, but at least they know the truth about the org. For me it's no big deal, because the org., is man made. I have no illusions that it's God mouthpiece. Oh, yeah, they try to stick to the bible as much as they can, but as my grandmother used to say...They add yeast. I don't like the way JW's point their fingers at other denomination & think JW's are squeaky clean, and the only come back they have is well, The Brothers/Elders, etc. aren't perfect. Guess what nobody is. That's not an excuse, if someone is caught with a smoking gun, is that an imperfect person or a killer.

Have you ever heard that if you point a finger, how many are pointing back at you ? 3 fingers are pointing back at you. My question was that if anyone thinks God is protecting the org. I have gotten many replies. I'm not that old nor that young, but never seen an ORG. that is so Teflon.

Tor

105

Does anyone think Jehovah is protecting the org. despite all the talk about THE ARC ?

by tor1500 in

jw
friends

i've been thinking this for a while.

even before the arc scandal.

it seems no matter what, the org.

tor1500

@OrphanCrow,

To be vague, it sure is....Yeah, go out in the cold so you can serve Jehovah....DEAD...I have enough sense not to go out when it's very very cold....I'm not concerned with the hours...the hours only validate our egos...Jehovah don't need no hours, man does. We need hours so we can say to one another...guess what ? I went out in 3 below...& I did so & so many hours...I do what I can.

Many of JW's put many hours in & that's good, for them. Many need to be validated & a pat on the back. At this time in my life, I'm comfy in my own skin & don't need any brother to say ...Good JOB.

They are people just like me. How many have we seen in the org. that seem to be a good examples, always at the meetings, great comments, lots of hours in FS...then one day from the platform. "We have an announcement to make...So & So is no longer a JW". I don't worry about putting in time, I go about my life as an example. I try to treat folks the way I like to treated.

I like the story of the good Samaritan...who is my neighbor, everybody...I don't choose people that only look like me or worship like me, think like me. I talk to all sorts of folks & if they don't want to be a witness, so be it. I tell them what I can & that's all I can do.

Most people are pretty decent. I don't use the term worldly people, cause we are all in the world & with all the stuff going on in the world don't think that some of that stuff doesn't slip into the org.

I think I'm just disappointed that because they say it's the truth, they don't tell the truth....but only man said it was The Truth, God never sent a memo saying...You guys are the truth...meaning if they were the truth, they would tell about the ARC & let the chips fall where they may. It's only their Pride that keeps them from telling all.

The bottom line, they should have never talked about other religions. Don't point fingers. I've also heard many of the JW's say well they talk about us, then I say, then why stoop to their level ?

Tor