Expect breathless, hyper-spastic spittle-flying announcements about their new “Make Disciples” brochure, the ones that have been sitting in those “top secret” unmarked boxes accumulating mold and bugs in Kingdom Halls over the past several months.
They’ll be falling all over themselves about how wonderful this “new tool” will be, and how millions more people will be thronging to join the ranks of JWs.
Because, of course, the plummeting yearly baptism figures have nothing to do with a tired 140 year old message of “the end of the world very soon now” and CSA scandals and human rights concerns over DFing and lack of enthusiasm from their adherents.
Nope, JWs rapid and precipitous drop in recruitment is entirely due to the lack of the 20th or 30th set of instructions on “how to make disciples”.
”Yeah, sure, our ministry hasn’t been effective for over half a century, but these 32 pages will make ALL the difference!”
And the mouth-breathing window washers and janitorial engineers who watch the program will leap with joy over this latest evidence that we are in the “last seconds of the last minutes of the last hours of the last days”.
My eyes already hurt from the extreme rolling they will have to do.