Emily1987

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Posts by Emily1987

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  18

  How do you feel about your JW childhood?

  by Emily1987 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was 5 years old when my mother was baptised.

  we went from celebrating xmas to no presents or decorations.

  we would still go to my unbelieving aunty's house on xmas day, all of my cousins would be playing with their new toys and would wonder why i didn't have any.

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  Emily1987

  days of future passed, really sorry to hear that! It really is an awful cult!
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  18

  How do you feel about your JW childhood?

  by Emily1987 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was 5 years old when my mother was baptised.

  we went from celebrating xmas to no presents or decorations.

  we would still go to my unbelieving aunty's house on xmas day, all of my cousins would be playing with their new toys and would wonder why i didn't have any.

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  Emily1987

  LovingLifeNow, I would love to decorate the outside of our house at Christmas but I still worry about the consequences! We had a wonderful Christmas last year but we still did it in secret, we didn't post photos online and made sure all of the decorations were not visible to passersby! Crazy how even after 2 years of being out, they still have this hold over us! This year we are going to see Santa at his grotto, we have an Elf on Shelf visiting in December and I have got us all matching Xmas PJs for Xmas eve 😂 I'm going to try and not worry about what other JWs think and if we get DF so be it! Maybe I will buy a big inflatable Santa for my front garden 😂

  Thank you LovingLifeNow, hope you have fab holidays aswell!
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  18

  How do you feel about your JW childhood?

  by Emily1987 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was 5 years old when my mother was baptised.

  we went from celebrating xmas to no presents or decorations.

  we would still go to my unbelieving aunty's house on xmas day, all of my cousins would be playing with their new toys and would wonder why i didn't have any.

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  Emily1987

  I was 5 years old when my mother was baptised. We went from celebrating Xmas to no presents or decorations. We would still go to my unbelieving Aunty's house on Xmas day, all of my cousins would be playing with their new toys and would wonder why I didn't have any.

  When friends at school had birthday parties I would tell them I wasn't allowed to go. I would find myself saying things like 'we don't need to have one day to get presents, we get them all year round'. When all I wanted to was day to get presents and have a party.

  I never really thought about how cruel that was of my mother until having my own children.

  Last year we celebrated Xmas and we had parties for our children's birthdays. We enjoyed spending time together, giving gifts to our children and just having some precious family time.

  Enjoying these holidays with my family last year has made me realise that I really missed out as a child. I was brainwashed into thinking that these holidays are Satanic. I never got to experience these magical family moments that I am now enjoying with my children.

  I would be interested to know if you feel you missed out during your JW childhood?
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  23

  How Did The Elders Treat You?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  did you get along with them?

  did you ever incur their wrath?

  most jws want to be “friends “ with the elders, kind of like having a policeman that you know who might help you out if you are in need..

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  Emily1987

  One of our most respected elders turned out to be a paedophile and was put on the offenders list and given a 5 year suspended sentence. He was disfellowshipped but continued to come to the hall and sit on the back row to watch all of the young children. The elders hassled myself and my husband because we refused to go to meetings because we didn't want to sit in the same room as someone like him. We were told we had to learn to forgive him just as Jesus had said. From that moment on the elders disliked us. Everyone else was being obedient to the elders, learning to forgive this man who had lied to the congregation for 20 years. Meanwhile, we had told the elders we could no longer trust them or their judgement. From then on, we no longer had any visits or calls from elders. It has made our fade so much easier!
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  46

  Memorial.. To go or not to go

  by Emily1987 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, as some of you will know myself and my husband are in the process of fading.

  haven't been to a meeting since beginning of 2017. .

  we weren't planning on going to the memorial, but last week my mother broke down and said that we have to go to the memorial even if it's the only meeting i go to this year.

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  Emily1987

  So, as some of you will know myself and my husband are in the process of fading. Haven't been to a meeting since beginning of 2017.

  We weren't planning on going to the memorial, but last week my mother broke down and said that we have to go to the memorial even if it's the only meeting I go to this year.

  I love my mum dearly and I hate that my decisions have resulted in so much heartache for her. She has had a very stressful couple of years and knowing that I have added to that makes me feel awful. That is why I am facing this dilemma as to whether we should go to the memorial and keep my mum happy, or not go and probably break her heart.

  What would be the repercussions if we went? Is it likely that by showing our faces at the memorial, we would be back a square one, with the elders chasing after us, asking us if we want a study? Or even discipling us for attending a couple of birthday parties and christmas market (a sister snitched on us when she found out we went to these).

  On the other hand, if we decided not to go, would this cause us any hassle? Will the elders be in touch because we missed the most sacred meeting of the year? Is this a reason to disfellowship us?

  Anyway, as you can probably tell, causing my mother grief is one of the hardest things about this fade. Apart from my husband and children, my mum is one of the most important people in my life and hurting her or even losing her to this religion is awful.

  Thanks, Emily
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  18

  Social Media

  by Emily1987 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as some of you may remember from a previous post of mine, myself and my husband are in the process of fading.

  we began our fade in jan 2017 and haven't been to a meeting since may 2017. to say this time has been a struggle is an understatement.

  it has been a lonely time for us, losing all of our so called friends.

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  Emily1987

  Hi all, thanks for all of your replies! There is some really helpful advice there for us.

  Joining a club or group is a great idea. My husband has recently started playing tennis with a group at our local leisure centre so he is hoping that friendships will come from that. And our children recently started school and preschool so I am hoping that the new parents I meet at the school will eventually become friends!

  It really is true that these JW 'friends' aren't really that, as they drop you as soon as you leave.

  Again thanks for all of the responses, it really is nice to see everyone being so friendly and proving that us ex JWs are not nasty people like we are made out to be by the organisation.

  Emily
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  18

  Social Media

  by Emily1987 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as some of you may remember from a previous post of mine, myself and my husband are in the process of fading.

  we began our fade in jan 2017 and haven't been to a meeting since may 2017. to say this time has been a struggle is an understatement.

  it has been a lonely time for us, losing all of our so called friends.

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  Emily1987

  Thanks for your reply. We rarely post on social media, if we do, it is usually a photo of the kids or a family trip out etc. We certainly wouldn't write anything to offend a JW as this would most probably end up with the elders on our doorstep!
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  18

  Social Media

  by Emily1987 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as some of you may remember from a previous post of mine, myself and my husband are in the process of fading.

  we began our fade in jan 2017 and haven't been to a meeting since may 2017. to say this time has been a struggle is an understatement.

  it has been a lonely time for us, losing all of our so called friends.

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  Emily1987

  As some of you may remember from a previous post of mine, myself and my husband are in the process of fading. We began our fade in Jan 2017 and haven't been to a meeting since May 2017. To say this time has been a struggle is an understatement. It has been a lonely time for us, losing all of our so called friends. Being shunned, even to the extent of being ignored by witnesses when passing in the street. We honestly never thought that it would be this way. We expected that witnesses would no longer invite us to their houses or invite us out etc, but never thought we would be ignored to this extent.

  One question I have, which sounds trivial but i would be interested if someone knew the answer. Was there a talk at the recent one day assembly about social media and making sure who you are 'friends' with on social media. I know in the past there has been said talks, but the reason I ask is that our circuit have just had their one day assembly. Since that assembly, both myself and my husband have been blocked by a few witnesses on social media and others have 'unfriended' us. Some of these ones who have unfriended us used to be our closest friends. Obviously it is hard to not let this type thing get you down, but it does. Does anyone know if they have been instructed at the last assembly to remove friends who are no longer attending meetings etc? Did they give them a reason?

  Thanks
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  40

  Difficulty fading out

  by Emily1987 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my first post on here so i apologize that it is like an essay!.

  my husband and i are currently 'fading out' of the truth.

  we stopped preaching in may 2016 and limited meeting attendance in january 2017 and stopped completely in june 2017. my main reason for this was my whole life i have been doing things to please others, even getting baptized to please my mum.

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  Emily1987

  Thank you all for your suggestions and advice. It is really helpful knowing what I should expect and what to say if and when the elders approach us. A few have mentioned that we should DA ourselves. That is not really an option for us as our parents and siblings are JWs and we are very close to them. We know that by fading at least we can still have contact with them.

  @scratchme1010 whilst I appreciate most of what you are saying, I do feel that a blanket 'they are not nice people' is harsh. I don't agree with a lot of their teachings and the way the society go about things, but I do feel that a lot of them have good intentions.

  @LongHairGal a mutual friend who is not a witness saw me on both occasions and told my witness friend! She is not aware of my tree, thank goodness!
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  40

  Difficulty fading out

  by Emily1987 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my first post on here so i apologize that it is like an essay!.

  my husband and i are currently 'fading out' of the truth.

  we stopped preaching in may 2016 and limited meeting attendance in january 2017 and stopped completely in june 2017. my main reason for this was my whole life i have been doing things to please others, even getting baptized to please my mum.

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  Emily1987

  Hi! This is my first post on here so I apologize that it is like an essay!

  My husband and I are currently 'fading out' of the truth. We stopped preaching in May 2016 and limited meeting attendance in January 2017 and stopped completely in June 2017. My main reason for this was my whole life I have been doing things to please others, even getting baptized to please my mum. I finally feel like enough is enough, we have two lovely children and I have to put them first now, and I want them to enjoy holidays like Christmas and birthdays etc. I don't want them to have to endure the hell of being different at school.

  Anyway, so I have put up a Christmas tree for the first time (out of the way of the window so no witnesses passing by can see!) And my children were so excited. We also took them to the local Christmas market and then took them to the cinema to see a Christmas film. We did this all with caution as the elders are still on our tail. We didn't post photos on social media or mention it to our witness family. However, one of my best friends, who is a witness, spoke to me this week and basically said she knows what we have been up to and her 'conscience' has made her go to the elders. Not only am I distraught that someone I used to consider as my best friend could do this, I am confused as to why!! Months before this I'd explained to her that we no longer wanted to carry on in the truth and whilst she was upset, she said we had to do what we thought was best for our family. So why now is she sticking her nose in and going to the elders?

  Anyway, so my question is, has anyone else had hassle from witnesses and elders when trying to fade? Is it going to be this hard forever, constantly checking over our shoulder that a witness isn't watching us. Checking out the window when the doorbell rings in case it's an elder! I feel like I am still controlled by the religion even though I no longer practice it!

  Thanks in advance!