Scorpion

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Posts by Scorpion

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  4

  Pregnancy Questions and Answers

  by Scorpion in

  1. social
  2. humour

  pregnancy questions & answers.

  q: should i have a baby after 35?.

  a: no, 35 children is enough.. q: i'm two months pregnant now.

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  Scorpion

  Good ones Joy

  
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  4

  Pregnancy Questions and Answers

  by Scorpion in

  1. social
  2. humour

  pregnancy questions & answers.

  q: should i have a baby after 35?.

  a: no, 35 children is enough.. q: i'm two months pregnant now.

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  Scorpion

  PREGNANCY QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
  Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
  A: No, 35 children is enough.

  Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby
  move?
  A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

  Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a
  baby's sex?
  A: Childbirth.

  Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody
  that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
  A: So what's your question?

  Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel
  during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
  A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be
  called an air current.

  Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
  A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

  Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery
  room while my wife is in labor?
  A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything
  to you.
  
  Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering
  from childbirth?
  A: Yes, pregnancy.

  Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
  A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

  Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my
  wife begin to feel and act normal again?
  A: When the kids are in college.

  "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
  10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
  1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
  2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
  3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
  4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
  5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper
  sticker that says "How's my driving-call 1-800-***"
  6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
  7. You're convinced there's way too many male's in this
  world.
  8. You can'! believe they don't make a tampon bigger than
  Super Plus.
  9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
  10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
  
  TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
  10. Cats' facial expressions.
  9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
  8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
  7. Fat clothes.
  6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
  5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white,
  and eggshell.
  4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
  3. Eyelash curlers.
  2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
  AND, the Number One thing only women understand
  1. OTHER WOMEN
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  25

  Hello, I'am "Ex-Watchtowerite-Hubby's Wife

  by AwakenedAndFree in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'am new here.. firstly, i would like to thank simon and his wife anghrad for this website.

  i have been reading posts here for several months.

  this forum has indeed helped me with my exit from the watchtower, as well it continues to be a great source of help, theraphy, encouragement and information.. my husband is a member here.

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  Scorpion

  
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  7

  Stockton, Lockeford, or Sacramento?

  by zamzummim in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i used to belong to a congregation in stockton called quail lakes.

  i also had some very good friends that moved out to lockeford and one couple moved to sacramento.. if you're from that area circa 1984-1990, please email me.

  i would really like to find out if some of my old friends have "seen the light"!.

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  Scorpion

  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exjehovahwitnessescalifornia/

  Try this group. There are several there from the Sacramento and surrounding areas.
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  4

  Top 25 Country Songs

  by Scorpion in

  1. social
  2. humour

  subject: fw: top 25 country songs .

  25. get your tongue outta my mouth 'cause i'm kissing you goodbye.

  24. her teeth was stained, but her heart were pure.

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  Scorpion

  Subject: Fw: TOP 25 COUNTRY SONGS

  25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
  24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Were Pure.
  23. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
  22. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.
  21. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run
  So I Figure We're Even.
  20. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.
  19. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.
  18. I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
  17. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
  16. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.
  15. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
  14. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back and Cryin' Over You.
  13. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.
  12. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.
  11. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).
  10. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You.
  9. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him.
  8. Please Bypass This Heart.
  7. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.
  6. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.
  5. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.
  4. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
  3. She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles.
  2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer.
  And the Number 1 Country and Western song of all Time is...
  1. I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few
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  2

  Famale Chauvinism

  by Scorpion in

  1. social
  2. humour

  subject: female chauvinism .

  one for the ladies and those who love 'em.

  a little revenge for all the "male" >chauvinism .

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  Scorpion

  Subject: Female Chauvinism

  One for the ladies and those who love 'em. >>

  A little revenge for all the "male" >chauvinism

  Men are like.....Floor Tiles. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.

  Men are like.....Bank Accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

  Men are like.....Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

  Men are like.....Coffee. The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night.

  Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.

  Men are like.....Computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

  Men are like....Coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

  Men are like.....Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

  Men are like.....Government bonds. They take a long time to mature.

  Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

  Men are like.....Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

  Men are like.....Parking spots. The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either disabled or extremely small.

  Men are like.....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

  Men are like.....Place mats. They only show up when there's food on the table.

  Men are like.....Snow storms. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long they'll last.

  Men are like.....Used Cars. Easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.

  Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at >the first sign of emotion.
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  11

  Flag Salute Deception/9/15 Watchtower

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  recently, the watchtower has published an article on the flag.

  salute issue that is misleading and deceptive ("salvation.

  belongs to jehovah").

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  Scorpion

  http://www.escapefromwatchtower.com/flag.html
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  19

  Year 2035 Headlines

  by Scorpion in

  1. social
  2. humour

  newspaper headlines in the year 2035. .

  ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh .

  largest country in the world, california.. .

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  Scorpion

  J.F.Rutherford quoted in The Watchtower-October 1, 1984, Bottom of page 24 *Regarding his misguided statements as to what we could expect in 1925, he once confessed to us at Bethel, "I made an ass of myself."
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  19

  Year 2035 Headlines

  by Scorpion in

  1. social
  2. humour

  newspaper headlines in the year 2035. .

  ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh .

  largest country in the world, california.. .

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  Scorpion

  mevirginia

  ummm...what would Rutherford look like on the cover of Mad Magazine?

  You need RealPlayer for this. Give it a minute to load.

  http://www.vr.net/~herzogbr/images/butt/horse.avi
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  19

  Year 2035 Headlines

  by Scorpion in

  1. social
  2. humour

  newspaper headlines in the year 2035. .

  ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh .

  largest country in the world, california.. .

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  Scorpion

  mevirginia,

  You are right, there is no mention of what the JWs will be doing. I guess that leaves this post open for some good ideas as to what JWs will be doing in the year 2035.

  Here's a start: Watchtower Bible & Tract Society use printing presses to publish 'MAD Magazine'.

  Scorpion