Posts by LifesNotOver

42

JW broadcasting and doubts

by Colinconfused in

hi everyone to cut a long story short, ive been away from the meetings for over 10 years.

i recently reconnected with the congregation and started a study.

cant get my head around all the changes and jw broadcasting.

Colin, might I make a suggestion? That is to make sure in your own mind (and your partner's) what your beliefs are before you involve your children? Could save them a whole lot of hurt and confusion. You sound like a smart man and I'm sure you've already considered that, just saying ...

Not my business, but happy to hear you've discontinued the study and the meetings. And the Bible book for kids disturbed me as an adult. I never did send it to my grandchildren (parents not JW's) - so glad I didn't!

80

Keep the meeting going! (even if somebody's dying)

by TimeBandit in

jw
friends

this is a true story.

it's about a sister named henriette venema.

she was a very loyal jw.

LifesNotOver

Thank you TimeBandit and all the others! Whenever I start to think that maybe I wasn't all that adversely affected by my time in the cult, something like this comes up that reminds me of all the head-nodding-in-agreement I did at things that went on, when my heart and soul was crying NO!NO!NO! something is very wrong with these people! And I'm so ashamed for being so untrue to myself. And being so cowardly not to speak up.

It's called brainwashing, but it doesn't render a person braindead, and that's why they're losing so many people because people still have the capacity to think for themselves when they finally give their head a shake. They say not to trust your heart, that it's treacherous. They'll do the feeling for you. They say not to trust your head, they'll do the thinking for you. Oh, it's like, "don't worry your pretty little head".

Where am I going with this? Rambling, sorry. LifesNotOver

7

Server Errors / Forum Update

by Simon in

oops, sorry about that - the last update caused a few server errors on some topics.

they should be ok now.. just rolling out some more updates to make things slightly quicker and lay the foundation for future improvements..

LifesNotOver

Admit freely I don't understand any of this stuff, but I do get that it takes a lot of time and effort and commitment, and I thank you for that Simon. LNO

23

Reinstated and then fade

by Zeds Dead in

i'm a man - d'fd for 2.5 years now and divorced.

find it hard to date girls out here only due to always having this secret i carry with me that i was once a jw and the thought of telling a girl one day why my family don't acknowledge me as even alive.. recently been thinking of trying to get reinstated and then do a quick fade as i cant go back to the whole jw stuff.. easier said than done and was turned down twice by elders after an immediate attempt 2 years ago.. my motivation for trying would be 1.

) to see if family make contact and 2) play the last hand in their game and give the middle finger.. interested in viewpoints?.

LifesNotOver

What just fine said. It's not a deep dark secret, really. You don't have to divulge all right off the bat. When you know her a bit and the time is right, tell her matter-of-factly. If you make a big deal of it, she'll wonder what the big deal is. Remember, it's not YOU who's the crazy one, it's THEM!

Hey, this maybe helped clear something up for me. I, too, was asking how to divulge my past to people. I think the answer for me is to make that phone call to a counsellor that I've been thinking about making, and practice talking about it there, to someone who should be safe and non-judgemental.

Oh, and NO, don't go back when you've come this far, don't second guess yourself. You'll just find yourself back where you started from, ugh! Find another game to play, don't play theirs.

38

"Life is so hard!...tribulation and problems abound!" Persecution complex of witnesses.....

by stuckinarut2 in

the meeting this week is mind-blowing in the way it fuels the crippling "persecution complex" of witnesses!.

paragraph 1 set the theme with this gem:.

does it shock you that you can expect to face many tribulations before you gain the prize of everlasting life?

LifesNotOver

Nowwhat? - you talking about my husband?! He's exactly like that, and then you say "that's what makes him a perfect JW". My heart sank reading that. I harbour hopes that he'll see TTAT, but if I'm really honest, they're not based on anything real. He thrives on all the bad news out there, just laps it up, really gets off on it. (sorry if that's rude). He's far from a perfect JW in all that's expected of him, but he has the personality down pat! And I think without a major change in personality he'll continue as a JW just as he has. It's a perfect fit for him. A major change in personality in someone isn't doable, is it?

Sorry, folks, if what I do is hijack threads. I suspect I might do that, but I'm trying to contribute something. I'm not all that well versed on forum dos-and-donts and etiquette. Feel free to clue me in if you like. LifesNotOver

18

I have no prblems with "new light"

by Doug Mason in

there is nothing wrong with accepting new ideas.

even apostle paul changed his mind when he "saw the light".

indeed, i hope to learn new things every day.

LifesNotOver

Personally, I was seriously doubting my intelligence, my ability to think and reason and figure things out. When I would mull things over for hours (like the overlapping generation) twisting my poor brain every which way to bring it in line with what I thought they were actually getting at, then for an instant I would have an "I got it!!", then it would twist out of my mental grasp. And I'd be back to square one, only not really because I'd begun to doubt that I'd ever really understand it, I wasn't smart enough, but I'd keep trying because everyone around me was saying "I get it!" Soon I was saying "I get it" just so I would fit in and people would stop trying to explain it to me! And then I found myself trying to explain it to others without understanding it myself - what a joke! LNO

19

YMCA?

by LifesNotOver in

my husband's gone to his meeting and i'm catching up with folks here on our forum.

i'm sure i'm having a better time :) anyway, was just following some posts regarding the un and there happened to be a copy of a magazine article stating brothers wouldn't want to be joining the "y" because it was "christian".

i think this was back in the 1950's (maybe not).

LifesNotOver

Holy moly you guys are thorough! Thanks! Dare I ask about the YWCA? This is all very interesting. It's difficult for me to keep my mouth shut about this with my husband. I admit it, I spend too much time wanting to prove myself RIGHT about things (where has the embarrassed ie blushing emoticon gone?)

19

YMCA?

by LifesNotOver in

my husband's gone to his meeting and i'm catching up with folks here on our forum.

i'm sure i'm having a better time :) anyway, was just following some posts regarding the un and there happened to be a copy of a magazine article stating brothers wouldn't want to be joining the "y" because it was "christian".

i think this was back in the 1950's (maybe not).

LifesNotOver

Data-Doug, thanks! I just remembered to do a search and this has been covered before. Sorry, should have searched earlier. Guess I mostly just wanted to join in some discussion without getting into all the heavy duty stuff that is going on around here at the moment. Thinking this over a bit, maybe my best approach would be not to say anything because he's not listening to me on anything much these days - it's all about "you've been on that apostate site again, haven't you?!" I know he's told at least one elder about having joined the Y and how he (the elder) should too. This is the same elder who gave him so much grief about his beard. So if the elders want to give him grief about the Y, better it comes from them than me, then he can get angry with them and not me.

Reminds me of the saying "pick your battles" - something like that. "Bigger fish to fry". Oh, lots and lots of sayings! LNO

19

YMCA?

by LifesNotOver in

my husband's gone to his meeting and i'm catching up with folks here on our forum.

i'm sure i'm having a better time :) anyway, was just following some posts regarding the un and there happened to be a copy of a magazine article stating brothers wouldn't want to be joining the "y" because it was "christian".

i think this was back in the 1950's (maybe not).

LifesNotOver

Hello! My husband's gone to his meeting and I'm catching up with folks here on our forum. I'm sure I'm having a better time :) Anyway, was just following some posts regarding the UN and there happened to be a copy of a magazine article stating brothers wouldn't want to be joining the "Y" because it was "Christian". I think this was back in the 1950's (maybe not). Does anyone remember hearing about this more recently? He's just joined the Y and I'm thinking about bringing this up with him. He's already encouraging me to do yoga if I want, for years he's had a small beard and refuses to shave, and says he'd support me if I were to wear a pantsuit to the meeting. So, small things, I know, but maybe just maybe someday he'll be willing to look at the bigger issues. LNO

12

How do i keep seeing my daughter when she turns 18

by agnosticnow in

hi.i have a 13 year old daughter that i still have for a limited time as she comes to stay about one night a month at present.the law here in australia is on my side in that the australian governments stand is that the child needs regular access to both parents .

i am currently arranging for mediation to have her more often .

her mother can not stand that i am living with another woman and doesn't want her here .

LifesNotOver

My two cents ... if your daughter sees you doing whatever you can to have more time with her, that will prove your sincerity. Be honest with her, but don't tell her things she can't yet understand. Always keep your word. Be her father first, her dad second, and her friend third. I just finished reading this novel where a teenage boy's father just for a moment decided to be "cool dad/friend" so his son would be happy with him, rather than be "responsible father", and it all went tragically wrong. It DID have a happy ending, though, and I love happy endings! Well, a bittersweet ending, actually.

I've raised 2 teenagers and made plenty of mistakes. I think professional counselling early on would have helped us understand each other and helped in communication. Nip problems in the bud sort of thing, rather than trying it later in the teen years when patterns are already firmly established and much damage has already been done.

And lots of "I love you's" and hugs! As I said, my two cents ..... LNO