Posts by LifesNotOver

21

I need your opinions and recommendations please.

by bola in

after my exit from the watchtower shunning cult, i have received tons of invitations from different churches.

but because i am aware of religious cults, i need recommendations of churches that are not cults at all.

after exiting the watchtower cult, i don't want to fall into another religious cults.

LifesNotOver

Pete Zahut said: "The watchtower organization ruined me for religion and God." I'm taking that phrase into therapy with me, if I may. So well puts into just a few words exactly how I'm thinking and feeling these days. Even seeing "god" capitalized makes me shudder with distaste.

6

Test yourself...Which Religion Best Suits You, what non religion best suits you.

by Giordano in

since we have had so many joining up while others have changed their thinking it doesn't hurt to see where we stand now .. this 20 question test is not the definitive test but it may be revealing or affirming....... find out where your religious or nonreligious comfort range is.. i just took it and my #1 choice was that i was a secular humanist.

being a jw was #24........ way way down the list.. www.playbuzz.com/benjaminbirely10/which-religion-best-suits-you.

you start by clicking on the general statement that is closest to how you think.

LifesNotOver

Atheism: Error 404: God not found

36

Sample Disassociation Letter please?

by LifesNotOver in

i want to send a disassociation letter to the elders at my old congregation.

how do i address it and what wording do i use?

i know it's not something i have to do, it's symbolic for me.

LifesNotOver

The way I look at it is this - if you want a divorce from someone it's not just good enough to say "I'm done with you", you need to do it officially or it isn't real. You have to "play their game", complete the forms, pay the filing fees, get your grounds, etc. And it feels a whole lot better to be the one in charge and instigate the divorce proceedings, than be the one sitting passively by being served with papers. Only when the divorce is final are you truly free and can you truly move on. See where I'm going with this? That's my opinion, anyway. So I'm drafting a letter of disassociation to send to the Elders at my old congregation, just a few lines. Thanks for all your suggestions.

And, yes, I'm starting divorce proceedings from my husband as well. Good times all around. I only wish I could simply send him a letter and it would be done, but I have to "play their game" wink wink

36

Sample Disassociation Letter please?

by LifesNotOver in

i want to send a disassociation letter to the elders at my old congregation.

how do i address it and what wording do i use?

i know it's not something i have to do, it's symbolic for me.

LifesNotOver

Thanks! Short and simple. Of course! I have this way of complicating things. I don't need to get anything off my chest, particularly. Just want to "formally" get my name off any lists or anything.

36

Sample Disassociation Letter please?

by LifesNotOver in

i want to send a disassociation letter to the elders at my old congregation.

how do i address it and what wording do i use?

i know it's not something i have to do, it's symbolic for me.

LifesNotOver

I want to send a disassociation letter to the elders at my old congregation. How do I address it and what wording do I use? Thanks for your help. I know it's not something I HAVE to do, it's symbolic for me. What I'd love to do is burn down the Kingdom Hall, now that would be symbolic! How cathartic would that be, right?

12

Guilt as Motivator

by LifesNotOver in

jw
friends

i've just come across this idea: i've been feeling guilty about not contributing more to this forum, given all the help i've received here.

i feel guilty that i haven't had it as bad as so many of you.

i feel guilty that i didn't have any jw family/friends that shunned me when i left.

LifesNotOver

Reading over my OP this morning and seeing what others see. I sounded like a crazy person. Thank you, Saethydd and kpop. I agree I need professional help. I just wanted to move on with my life, kind of skipping through life and being happy and joyful and making new friends. Holding onto that high and feeling of power I experienced when I first left the JWs, my husband, and my town. And reclaimed my extended non-JW family. And moved closer to my son and daughter and grandchildren. Living joyfully is not something that can be done so easily, as it turns out, not something that can be done simply using willpower and wishpower if there is such a thing.

I have been in group therapy the last eight weeks, this being the last week, and it's been helpful, but now is bringing up deeper issues that I'll be dealing with on my own unless I get some help.

12

Guilt as Motivator

by LifesNotOver in

jw
friends

i've just come across this idea: i've been feeling guilty about not contributing more to this forum, given all the help i've received here.

i feel guilty that i haven't had it as bad as so many of you.

i feel guilty that i didn't have any jw family/friends that shunned me when i left.

LifesNotOver

I've just come across this idea: I've been feeling guilty about not contributing more to this forum, given all the help I've received here. I feel guilty that I haven't had it as bad as so many of you. I feel guilty that I didn't have any JW family/friends that shunned me when I left. I feel guilty that I wasn't born in and had a so-called normal childhood and adulthood until I became a JW in my mid-fifties. I feel guilty that I had the strength to leave the JW's, my husband and my town. I feel guilty that I get to start my life anew. I feel guilty - not wanting to give back to this community. Just wanting to move on and live my life. Wanting to not only leave the JW's but the ex-JW's. No longer wanting to identify as an ex-JW.

Is this part of the FOG? I don't want to live my life in reaction to my guilty feelings. I don't even know what that would look like, to live a life not reacting to some imaginary guilt. I've felt guilty for some reason or another all my life. My biggest decisions have been made as a result of guilt. This all goes very deep. What am I getting at here? I'm just starting to examine this concept. I'm opening this to discussion if anyone wants to go there. Maybe with some suggestions for books on the subject? Or some words of personal experience? Thanks!

28

Birthday Wishes Welcome!

by LifesNotOver in

jw
friends

many of you don't know me or won't remember me.

i left the jw's and my husband and my home last september - forging a new life in a new town.

i haven't posted here for many months, but have been reading most days.

LifesNotOver

Many of you don't know me or won't remember me. I left the JW's and my husband and my home last September - forging a new life in a new town. I haven't posted here for many months, but have been reading most days. Long story short, I'm doing great most days. This is my 71st - WOW! I'd love to hear "Happy Birthday" from you guys! Anything funny especially - I need more laughs. I haven't made any friends yet, so you're my go-to's. Happy Birthday to Me!!

37

Just curious - is apostasy grounds for divorce?

by LifesNotOver in

i know only adultery is supposed to be grounds for "scriptural" divorce.

i'm a wicked apostate in their eyes, but my believing husband and i still can't get a divorce that would allow him to remarry.

we currently are separated - i have left him.

LifesNotOver

I know only adultery is supposed to be grounds for "scriptural" divorce. I'm a wicked apostate in their eyes, but my believing husband and I still can't get a divorce that would allow him to remarry. Right? We currently are separated - I have left him. I may not be wording this very clearly. But my understanding is that I'd have to sleep with another man and there'd have to be witnesses or I'd have to admit to it. Then he'd have to file for the divorce. I wonder if we even really have grounds for a separation. I don't think so - so we're technically "unscripturally" separated. Oh, wait, me being an apostate is probably grounds for the separation - what is it called? spiritual endangerment. Oh my goodness isn't this all so stupid? He could sleep with someone else and then I could get a "scriptural" divorce from him and then he could get remarried. But then he'd be disfellowshipped for adultery or fornication or something. The more I try and wrap my head around this, the more my head spins!

Also, just thinking :) if I were to sleep with another woman (no, I'm not inclined that way), would that count as adultery? I'm so glad to be out of that religion! It's nuts! And I'm not about to sleep with anyone, man or woman, I'm 70 for goodness sakes, not that that makes me too old or anything, I just can't see being interested in all that again.

Thanks for listening to my babbling and I won't be hurt if nobody wants to bother replying to this mess. :)

25

The J.W fishpond of marriage mates! How many of us married a idiot!! No choice.

by Witness 007 in

what a horror.

instead of there being "more fish in the sea" our marriage mates came from the small and crapy witness pond.

anyone got burned by going with mr or mrs you will have to do?

LifesNotOver

I married the same idiot TWICE, so who's the idiot In this scenario? LNO