raven

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Posts by raven

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  18

  Regional Convention

  by raven in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so how many are not going to the regional convention this year?

  it will be my first year not attending as part of my fade.. i remember going for all of my childhood into adult hood, participating in stage parts even.. however, last assembly i was already mentally checked out.

  i remember looking around and seeing all of people bobbing & nodding at the program talks that had been previously repeated time and time again.. almost seemed like hypnosis.. i also had a hard time with the fact that we're all supposed to be "friends" and everyone had always seemed to be so judgmental.. especially at conventions & assemblies.. things like who had the best outfit for the days, who looked the prettiest, who can snag the single ms brother.. who took the most spiritual food out of the program, how many times can you tally mark jehovah's name.

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  raven

  So how many are not going to the Regional Convention this year? It will be my first year not attending as part of my fade.. I remember going for all of my childhood into adult hood, participating in stage parts even.. However, last assembly I was already mentally checked out. I remember looking around and seeing all of people bobbing & nodding at the program talks that had been previously repeated time and time again.. Almost seemed like hypnosis.. I also had a hard time with the fact that we're all supposed to be "friends" and everyone had always seemed to be so judgmental.. Especially at Conventions & Assemblies.. Things like who had the best outfit for the days, who looked the prettiest, who can snag the single MS brother.. Who took the most spiritual food out of the program, how many times can you tally mark Jehovah's name. BARF- It always seemed like everyone was eager for the programs to be over with so that they could mingle and gossip.. It was never encouraging for me, ever. I always left feeling drained, sad, and not good enough for Jehovah. Anyways, I'm looking forward to enjoying my Friday, Saturday, & Sunday doing whatever I want!
  
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  13

  1st Year not attending RC

  by BeautifulMind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i feel relieved to spend that time doing anything else but sitting in a stadium for 8 hours with only an hour break listening to the same talks i've been hearing since i was a child.

  not to mention trying to keep my young boys quiet so i wouldnt get the evil looks in my section😂😂.

  lot of walking was going on for us to try and tire them out.

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  raven

  Next month will be my first year not attending... Looking forward to enjoying my Friday, Saturday, & Sunday doing whatever I want, and not sitting in nosebleeds for 8 hours on a hard blue seat listening to the same repeated talks..
  
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  29

  Where did Jehovah go ?

  by Deleteandrestart in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  for the many years i was mentally " in " the congregation, i equated the organisation as interchangeable with the persona of jehovah, in effect whatever the organisation said or thought, that was what jehovah thought and that was what jehovah said.... it was that simple.

  so when i found out the ttatt and the cynical moves of the organisation over the years,including 1975 , the donation arrangements, the united nations, etc i was devastated and thought " where's jehovah in all of this?".

  the god who i'd poured my heart out to on many occasions and who i thought was silently listening and hearing my pleas ..... was not there , .

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  raven

  I feel the same way.. I got baptized at 17 (young and naive) tried hard to genuinely form a relationship with God, but... I felt nothing, it was like I was talking to the air. No prayers ever answered, no relief from depression or anxiety, etc, nothing, never felt anyone was listening. The org uses this "friendship with God" as something you MUST have. And those that cannot seem to obtain it are left feeling low. I am fading out of the org but find it difficult to cope with the fact of feeling I've been duped. I've always wondered about those who claim to have the best friendship ever with God, even though he can't even speak back to them? That is something I can't seem to grasp..
  
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  20

  A cording to today's wt not speaking to someone is evil

  by poopie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  wow

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  raven

  I am continuing to realize the real truth about all of this, I remember reading the experience of Olga- I didn't think twice about what kind of abuse she returned to the husband by not going in to attend her father in-laws funeral service buy standing outside.. This is because I was under mind control, and robotic thinking... Makes you think deeper when you come to your senses and realize the hypocrisy of the org.. Upsetting...
  
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  28

  Overlapping gen teaching- Help?

  by raven in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  hi friends,.

  can someone please help explain to me the overlapping generations teaching?

  i have not been able to grasp this one or what it even applies to?

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  raven

  So confusing.. What is the point of having this teaching then? If all of those who partake are going to heaven anyways?
  
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  28

  Overlapping gen teaching- Help?

  by raven in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  hi friends,.

  can someone please help explain to me the overlapping generations teaching?

  i have not been able to grasp this one or what it even applies to?

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  raven

  Hi friends,

  Can someone please help explain to me the overlapping generations teaching? I have not been able to grasp this one or what it even applies to? I have read on the forum that many say this is what lead them to realize the TTATT..

  I am trying to fade but also trying to research and learn as much as I can to help me solidify that the org is a lie.

  Thank you!
  
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  9

  Any one from Colorado?

  by raven in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  any one on the forum in the colorado area?.

  i would love to get to know local ones who are out of the organization or who are currently df'd da'd faded.

  i am going through some tough times trying to endure the journey of fading out of the organization and would love to get to know all of your stories as well as those locally!.

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  raven

  @ BlackWolf

  I used to live in Florida!! How crazy, we both switched states!
  
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  17

  I need food for thought..

  by raven in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  hi friends,it has been 20 years that i've slaved for the wt and through out the past couple of years i could feel myself fighting an urge to accept that something was not right.

  i fought it off for so long only for it to resurface frequently throughout my years of pioneering, assembly/convention parts, & speaking with people about the "truth", slaving and giving to try to be a "spiritual person" but in reality i was not spiritual because spirituality (according to the org) is doing all of the things they want you to do.

  which then will label you as spiritual... no !!!

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  raven

  Hi friends,

  It has been 20 years that I've slaved for the WT and through out the past couple of years I could feel myself fighting an urge to accept that something was not right. I fought it off for so long only for it to resurface frequently throughout my years of pioneering, assembly/convention parts, & speaking with people about the "truth", slaving and giving to try to be a "spiritual person" but in reality I was not SPIRITUAL because spirituality (according to the org) is doing all of the things THEY want you to do. Which then will label you as spiritual... NO !!!

  I feel myself becoming more and more frustrated and upset by this not because of my public reproof and the humiliation that has come with that. BUT because I feel like I know NOTHING, I want so badly to be spiritual and come to know God and Jesus..
  

  Friends if you have anything that has helped you to research, read, study, and delve into regarding the JW doctrines, scriptures, anything that will help me to solidify that this isn't right? Am I beginning to "wake up" as some would say, am I starting to realize the truth about the truth? OR am I just being blinded by Satan's influence...? I'm so confused.. Being apart of something from BIRTH is so hard to escape from when it is the only "spiritual" teaching I know..

  Feeling very depressed right now,

  R
  
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  26

  Another Newbie

  by Drifting Away in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello, i have been lurking for a while, but discovered ttatt for about 8 months now.

  i am trying to fade out, problem is i have a big family i would lose if i got df'ed or da,'ed myself.

  my wife knows how i feel, and is not thrilled but i cant hide my feelings.

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  raven

  Hi there DA,

  I too am in the process of fading, it is a very painful process personally, I would love to talk back and forth to see how things are going for you on your journey. I was born into the org as well, pioneer of the congragation, parts at assemblies and conventions, yada yada... I have always felt something was off but ignored it and went along with things for the happiness of others...

  Much love to you on your journey, I'm very interested in getting to read your story soon someday!
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  8

  Update on my current life

  by umadevi in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm visiting this site after few years here and it's feels like coming home!

  just a recap on my past visits here ... i was a confused single jw mom with a 9 year old son in 2011. some friends here sent me soft copies of coc and few other ebooks which gave me the courage and strength to exit from wt society.

  best ever decision i made!

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  raven

  WOW! I hope that I too can gain the confidence that you have developed since exiting the WT. I am currently trying to fade out but it is such a difficult and painful process being that my immediate family is in the organization.

  Much love,

  your friend Raven!