I was alone at the new Branch construction site in Ticuantepe (Nicaragua). Everybody had taken off for a weekend assembly in the capital and it was my turn to have watchman duty and guard the site. We had dogs and I only had to walk around the perimeters and check all the gates and entrances.
Suddenly a young boy appeared at the main gate, breathless and visibly nervous. He was shouting and waving at me. I approached him and he only said: "Brother, you have to come, quickly, please, something terrible happened. He is in the local hospital."
THAT. Right there made my heart jump. Ticuantepe had a small clinic, almost as tropical hospitals in movies - all small rooms with doors to the outside. Patients and Guests sit outside, under the open air and have to walk around the building to enter one of these tiny rooms. They don't really have the capacity to treat serious problems or even to keep patients over night. I was hesitant as I had to leave the local alone, but he was very insistent and begging me to help, without saying what happened. I locked the dogs away and followed him to the clinic. A nurse, also in a visibly nervous state directed me to one of the small rooms and opened the door.
There he was. He was a the son of one of the local Regular Pioneers from our congregation. A 20-something year old boy. He was lying on an examination table, completely greyish-white and covered in blood. Truth is, there was blood everywhere in that room. Splatters across the walls and a huge, already drying, puddle of blood on the ground. It looked like blood had drained out of every orifice of his body.
I had never seen a dead person before. Never mind in this state. Coming from a Life like mine, as a pioneer from an European country, usually doesn't put you in close contact with dead bodies. Not like this. I was in shock, trembling and had a sudden urge to throw up. I went outside, prayed to Jehovah to give me strength and went back in. They kept the door closed to not cause conmotion with the other patients. A doctor came rushing in and she told me that they had been trying to contact the family and could not find anybody at their home (no wonder, as part of our District they where all at the same Assembly as the Bethelites).
Then she said something totally unexpected. "You have to take him with you, he can't stay here any longer. The Watchtower has cars, go get one and we help you to put him in the car, so you can bring him home to his family. Bring best one of your Pick-up trucks."
We lived at a contruction site and the Society had indeed a nice fleet of SUV's and Pick-ups in all kinds and shapes. We where well known to the locals, so her idea had a point.
The thought alone made me dizzy! How in God's earth would I put a stiff, bloody corpse into a car that doesn't belong to me and drive away (they lived at the outskirts of the village). My knees where shaky, I could barely stand there, much less do what she was asking me to do. I told her that no way would I do this. I asked her (in my European naivety or better called ignorance) if she could send him home with an ambulance and I would go and pick up his parents. I thought that a much better idea. She said, with a stern look: "We barely have ambulances for the sick and living! I am unable to use one for a death person."
I begged and offered her to cover whatever costs they would have. She could see the desperation in my face and agreed to find an alternative transport to bring this boys body to his family home.
Why am I telling you this story? It is not to get rid of the heaviness that I carried around for a long time after that incident. No. Over time I managed to get a complete different outlook about Life and Death. It was in Nicaragua, during my time as a special pioneer and later as a Bethelite that I came close to see death with other eyes. This was the first time, but not the last one, where I would have to deal with the question about death. Until then it was all theory and Watchtowers fantasizing about the possibility to have a Life without Death. Here in Europe we "sanitize" death. You loose a dear, close person and never get to see her again. The hospital makes sure that they get into a closed casket as fast as possible into the ground. The Witnesses are scared about death. Absolutely the most scared about death on the planet (Is this why they have such a success attracting people that want to get rid of death altogether?). Why am I saying this? Because many funerals that I had been before where at the Kingdom Hall - without a casket - and even without going to the cemetery. People had their loved ones incinerated to never see again.
I am also discussing this here and now with you, not to ramble or to philosophize about one of the oldest and greatest "mysteries" of mankind. Nope. It is because of this:
Eternal Life in Paradise. This is the premise.
This is the most important keystone of the Jehovahs Witness ideology (and for many others too).
It doesn't matter how much failed prophecy there is and will be, it doesn't matter how much lies and changes of doctrines they will hear in a Lifetime, nothing matters because of this promise. The greatest of all promises.
And yet, it goes against everything that we know is true and eternal Life is even the greatest threat and enemy of Life itself. As without death there can be no Life!
Death bears new Life. Death clears space for other living beings. It gives Life a chance to spring up and fill the void. We understand this at the most basic Level if we see what happens if beings multiply without control (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbits_in_Australia) - and yes, I know what the argument of most Jehovahs Witnesses will be now: "but God can and will control procreation". Which brings another problem into the equation. I will not discuss this specific problem here and now, because it bears no point to this discussion, but if you think a moment and investigate yourself you will know what I mean.
Everything in the Universe dies. Everything. It has different names, but it is death in all its various forms. Suns, Stars, Galaxies, down to the smalles units. Atoms decay (signifiying a loss of energy and releasing this energy into the environment as radiation, with the result in a loss of rest mass).
More so in the Biological world. From plankton, to monkeys and fish - everybody dies! This is a indisputable fact.
If there is no "off" on a switch, why do you even need a switch at all? What is the difference to have constant light? Doesn't the meaning of light disappear? If one ceases to exist the other is destroyed. It is one of the most basic and fundamental parts of the known Universe.
"On-Off" - "Black-White" - "Positive-Negative" - "Night-Day" - "Ying-Yang" - "Male-Female" -"Death-Life" ...
The question that we should have made is this:
"Why would the Creator waive one of the most important laws in the Universe and with that invalidate everything he did and expressed before? This, the very same God that is so legalistic and so unflexible in breaking laws, that he preferred to have billions of people to suffer over the application of a legalistic stand point. The very same God that would go to great lengths to transform one of his creations into another form of Life to take his Life, over a legalistic dispute? The very same God that is vigilantly watching over every one of your steps, thoughts and emotions to put your Life on a scale and cut it off?
The very same God that brings death into existence to make Life possible? The one that will kill billions of humans to make space for a new society aka Life (therefore himself introducing and perpetuating the concept of death for life!). Isn't this the greatest paradox in the Bible?
"Ave, Imperator, morituri te salutant"
Hail Emperor, those who are about to die salute you.
This is where I come to terms with Death. Since I left the Jehovah's Witness cult I have found a new and never before known peace of mind. Not one that is based on a fabricated lie. A lie that goes against any and all logic. My family is scared about the prospect of dying. Me? Not anymore. I embrace it. Not because I despise Life, to the contrary, because it is a tribute to Life itself and part of the complete Cycle. I have accepted the Cycle as it is - from Beginning to End. It makes Life so much more valuable. Eternal, never-ending, Life makes it cheap and unvaluable. The more scarce something is the more valuable to you. Is that one of the reasons why Jehovahs Witnesses and many other Religions treat Life so cheaply and inconsiderate? As something that you can throw away, waste and use without concern?
The experience in Ticuantepe changed something in me. It was real and kicked my thinking into another dimension. I gave the funeral talk for the young boy (and also helped to dig his grave, but that is another story, for another moment). He doesn't know it, but it also helped me to think about deeper things and to question my Beliefs. No, I didn't lose my faith right away because of a single death person. That is not the point. It was part of a long jorney of awakening. Awakening to see the Truth about "the Truth" and lead me to the conclusion that:
"In Death lies Glory"
