Hey Mommie!!
Yes, it's great to BElong to the Fliud P.
Hi Bonnie,
The only way I can describe what happened to my SPIRITuality is in one word...RAPE! And once that has happened, it's a tattered mess and unlikely, salvagable. (this is EXACTLY how i FEEL about it too)
When i was born in Germany in 1959, due to the fact that my father was in the military there and my mom was "standing by her man", my mother contracted a near-deadly virus as she was only a few months pregnant with me. I was born severly twisted (SHUT UP VENICE!!) physically, and was breached birthed; they did not do a c sec on her. I was flown asap to USA hospital, in Chicago, i believe, and underwent a series of surgeries to get me mobile. My mom survived, yes, and how scared she must have been too. (I WILL get her out of that ROTten tower)
After the surgeries, I was taken to Los Angeles Childrens Hospital where i then underwent months of painful, grooling(sp...hahahashame on me) physical therapy to get me to walk again, as the docs told my parents i would never walk or be able to take care of mySELF ever (yea right!). There is so much more i am leaving out, yet the jest of this is that, even at that early age and stage in my existence, i felt a presence in my life like nothing else, one night as i lay in that gray steel crib they had back then, still do. (those total recall memories of cold steel haunt me still...full body cast too) I heard a voice within me say "you'll be ok" as my mom sat in the room singing lullaby and goodnight to me, with a quarter moon shining out the hospital window. Was it "GOD"? I used to THINK so, but now i KNOW it wasnt. It was and is and always will BE....Me!
"GOD" has become a scary creature i wont even let my child near at this stage and age in her life. She is no longer allowed in any church or to read the bible until shes old enough to absolutely filter her reading. We're working on that, as well as other life lessons in communicating and comprehending and filtering out.
Wow! Seems i had some residual "vomit" from yesterday, eh venice? Thanks for your shoulder yesterday
Welcome Bonnie, and hope you can join us soon in yahoo messenger chat. We have a lot of fun and serious moments too. It's quite a dynamic group.
Scally (SPIRITually damaged class)
Scally