Posts by stephanie61092

17

I need food for thought..

by raven in

hi friends,it has been 20 years that i've slaved for the wt and through out the past couple of years i could feel myself fighting an urge to accept that something was not right.

i fought it off for so long only for it to resurface frequently throughout my years of pioneering, assembly/convention parts, & speaking with people about the "truth", slaving and giving to try to be a "spiritual person" but in reality i was not spiritual because spirituality (according to the org) is doing all of the things they want you to do.

which then will label you as spiritual... no !!!

stephanie61092

Again, I am in your shoes. I'm on a search for spirituality. I actually bought this book and have been enjoying it:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/p/the-soul-searchers-handbook-emma-renee-mildon/1121369182/2672869955029?st=PLA&sid=BNB_DRS_Marketplace+Shopping+greatbookprices_00000000&2sid=Google_&sourceId=PLGoP24047&k_clickid=3x24047

I was able to let go of the idea of JWs having "the truth" after reading Crisis of Conscience and Combatting Cult Mind Control. Reading these showed me that:

A) the WT is a very large, highly organized cult

B) the WT is a BUSINESS

C) the WT is filled with inconsistences

I've found a wealth of information on just this forum to further support those ideas too. It was really devastating because to this day, there was something about being a JW that I haven't personally seen or experienced with other groups. For example, you can always recognize JWs when they're out and about and when you tell them you're a witness too, you're treated like family. I've been on vacation before and randomly saw JWs preaching and introduced myself and ended up getting free lodging and meals from them being hospitable to me. However, being DFed now, seeing how people who were supposed to be my "spiritual family" not just shun me but gossip about me has shown me the true colors that I think I knew were there all along. Where is the "love that does not rejoice with unrighteousness"? JWs are a kind, loving people on the surface but when you get to the nitty gritty, not many are true friends. Whereas my "worldly" friends have been supporting me and helping me without any hesitation.

Anyway, maybe try to just focus on things you enjoy and let the others fall into place. Enjoy this man you're dating, maybe get more involved in work or school or some kind of extra curricular. Knowing now that Armageddon is not "just around the corner" has lifted such a weight off my shoulders. For once in my life, I'm able to wake up on Saturday morning and enjoy the beautiful nature outside of my apartment and not feel guilty that I wasn't able to go out and preach to people.

I wish you all the best on this new journey you're taking! xo

9

Any one from Colorado?

by raven in

jw
friends

any one on the forum in the colorado area?.

i would love to get to know local ones who are out of the organization or who are currently df'd da'd faded.

i am going through some tough times trying to endure the journey of fading out of the organization and would love to get to know all of your stories as well as those locally!.

stephanie61092

Ok I sent you another PM! Lets chat and I'll try to plan my next vacation :)

9

Any one from Colorado?

by raven in

jw
friends

any one on the forum in the colorado area?.

i would love to get to know local ones who are out of the organization or who are currently df'd da'd faded.

i am going through some tough times trying to endure the journey of fading out of the organization and would love to get to know all of your stories as well as those locally!.

stephanie61092

I'm not from Colorado but it's my favorite state and I visit often! Maybe next time I'm out there, we can meet up! I love garden of the gods :)

21

Suppose I ought to introduce myself.....

by Andy Dufresne in

jw
friends

i've left a couple of semi-"humorous" remarks, but not yet said a proper hello....but firstly thank you, to all, for this site and all its comments.i have been lurking on this site for 4-5 years, awake for 5-6 years and seriously fading for the last 4 years.

i am now "out" and widely considered "out" by the congregation but due being very cautious and playing a very long game, (and having a wife who understand the repercussions of blowing the whistle on the few viewpoints i have discussed with her) i have not been df'd of da'd.

this forum has been a crutch and guide as well as helping me wake - and the humour many on here use has been a welcome relief.

stephanie61092

Love the username! Shawshank is one of my favorite movies ever!

6

Feeling anxious, venting...

by stephanie61092 in

jw
friends

good morning all,.

this is just a rambling post.

at the meeting yesterday during the wt study, i started flipping through the magazine to try to pass the time.

stephanie61092

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I know that even if this article "makes waves" with my family, it will probably be very temporary. I used to do the same thing, I would be invigorated after a convention and for a few weeks be a super JW but sure enough would go back to my old (much more normal) habits.

TheListener..thank you for the hugs. I am seeing a therapist once a week and have been since January. It does help a lot and I'm learning about inner peace, contentment and genuine happiness. I'm just not at a point yet where I can say that I'm comfortable living without my parents in my life to some degree.

5

What should they really do?

by Gratefullyunstuck in

i am now seperated from my jw husband.

he cheated twice on me, once while i was pregnant.

he hasnt been to meetings for approximately 2 years.

stephanie61092

For a group that claims that they are soooo unlike Christendom and that they don't make use of "titles", most JWS sure do rely heavily on titles to make their decisions.

Not DFed? Okay, I'll keep in contact with you even though you're doing what you're not supposed to. Officially DFed? SHUN!

Interested in a nice brother? Not an MS at 23?! Not a good marriage prospect. Officially an MS? "I DO!!"

Makes me sick.

6

Feeling anxious, venting...

by stephanie61092 in

jw
friends

good morning all,.

this is just a rambling post.

at the meeting yesterday during the wt study, i started flipping through the magazine to try to pass the time.

stephanie61092

Good morning all,

This is just a rambling post. At the meeting yesterday during the WT study, I started flipping through the magazine to try to pass the time. I only study one lesson a week (I can only handle so much rubbish at one sitting) so I was surprised when a certain word caught my eye... "Loyalty"

I think, "isn't 'loyalty' the theme of the convention this year? Oh boy, they're doing a little pre-brainwashing to get everyone prepped for the giant 3 day brainwashing session in a few months - this outta be good!"

So I start reading (btw it's "Learn From Jehovahs Loyal Servants" in the 02/16 WT study edition) and my heart dropped when I get to paragraph 7...

7 A conflict of loyalties may arise when a close relative is disfellowshipped. For example, a sister named Anne[1] received a telephone call from her disfellowshipped mother. The mother wanted to visit Anne because she felt pained by her isolation from the family. Anne was deeply distressed by the plea and promised to reply by letter. Before writing, she reviewed Bible principles. (1 Cor. 5:11; 2 John 9-11) Anne wrote and kindly reminded her mother that she had cut herself off from the family by her wrongdoing and unrepentant attitude. “The only way you can relieve your pain is by returning to Jehovah,” Anne wrote

The rest of the meeting was spent trying to keep my anxiety under control. I knew about the "shunning" talk at the convention coming up but I've been able to keep it out of my mind and even hope that maybe I'll be reinstated by then. I'm just so, so upset and worried that this "loving reminder" will readjust my parents thinking.

Currently, since I'm "coming back", they talk to me freely and hang out with me whenever I tell them I'll be in their area. I hope that this WT doesn't make them recant. My mom told me as soon as I told her that I was getting DFed that she would always pick up the phone for me, because I'm her daughter. But having that social contact these past few months has been making all the difference in keeping on vs feeling suicidal.

I keep telling myself that if they didn't want the social contact, they wouldn't have it...they've been JWs long enough to know what's "expected" of them, they've seen quotes like these before, what is one more WT article going to do? But you never know..

Sorry for the long, rambling post. Sometimes it just feels really good to get my thoughts written out, especially to an audience that understands. Have a good day everyone!

33

"But WHY would you want to know those things??"

by stuckinarut2 in

i ran into an older sister who has always been very sweet.. it was a friendly chat...yet she pushed for a reason why my family have been missing from meetings for some time.

the question was deflected, until it just had to be said: "well, there have been some troubling and disturbing issues about the society especially the way things were handled during the royal commission, as well as many other issues".. she quickly cut in and said "but why would you want to know these things?

its best not to research and look at those sort of things - so we don't get upset!".

stephanie61092

That's how my first conversation with my only friend still in the org went (I posted about it the other week). When I told her my concerns with the society and the ARC, she hadn't heard about it and told me "ignorance is bliss; don't do too much research or you'll get overwhelmed."

I was so crushed when she told me that. however, it was nothing compared to the joy I felt when she told me that she had been researching the ARC and was getting upset at the society.

This person may be very elderly, but you never know what seed you could've planted. Maybe she will run with what you said and say to many others "oh, they told me they aren't coming to meetings because of some silly royal commission thing!" Someone with a little more free thinking may wonder "hmmm...what is the royal commission and why is it keeping someone from the meetings?"

You never know....

8

Update on my current life

by umadevi in

jw
friends

i'm visiting this site after few years here and it's feels like coming home!

just a recap on my past visits here ... i was a confused single jw mom with a 9 year old son in 2011. some friends here sent me soft copies of coc and few other ebooks which gave me the courage and strength to exit from wt society.

best ever decision i made!

stephanie61092

Congratulations on your successful life post WTB&TS!! :) I've only been on this forum a few months but I love reading success stories such as yours - they are so very encouraging for someone like me who is still going through the process.

9

Special talk outline or highlights?

by stephanie61092 in

jw
friends

i apologize if this has already been covered but i've actually had a really busy, fun weekend with friends and family and i haven't been online.

that being said, i missed the special talk yesterday.

does anyone have the outline or highlights of the talk?

stephanie61092

Hello,

I apologize if this has already been covered but I've actually had a really busy, fun weekend with friends AND family and i haven't been online.

That being said, I missed the special talk yesterday. Does anyone have the outline or highlights of the talk? I would really like to take notes and have them. Just as a little insurance if my JC tried to call me out on not attending.

Thank you in advance!

Steph