Hi Art!! Thank you so much for posting and for sharing your story. Your English is beautiful. First and foremost, I will never call you any names for being "the other man". I am in no position to judge anyone and anyone who stoops so low as to call you names doesn't deserve a second thought.
I can't totally relate to your situation but in their own way our situations are similar. My story didn't involve any marriages but my BF and I were both DFd. We thought about getting married and coming back together but then we learned TTATT and decided to get reinstated, get married if we still want to and then fade. That way we can have contact with our friends and family.
I don't have much advice except the advice that's been given to me. If you want to get reinstated quickly...
1) be at EVERY meeting 2) be well studied (publications highlighted and written on) 3) Sit where your elders will see you 4) if you can, let your elders know ahead of time if you're missing a meeting and have a good reason 5) Since you've been DFd before, maybe don't write your first letter til the 12 month mark, then make a request every 60-90 days.
I'm not sure how helpful I was, im still going through the process myself- this was advice I've received from others on this site. Maybe they can tailor some advice for your exact situation.
But please stick around. This is a great community and forum and you will continue to learn about the deception of the Watchtower and how to combat their mind control tactics.