EyesOpenHeartBroken

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Posts by EyesOpenHeartBroken

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  74

  What song explains what you have gone through in life?

  by brandnew in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is mine....watch "coolio ft. l.v - gangsta's paradise (official music video)" on youtubehttps://youtu.be/cpgbzylnz7c

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  Hey Millie

  Good taste! 👍🏻
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  74

  What song explains what you have gone through in life?

  by brandnew in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is mine....watch "coolio ft. l.v - gangsta's paradise (official music video)" on youtubehttps://youtu.be/cpgbzylnz7c

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  U2--Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

  Pretty much any GothEmo and Grunge i.e. The Cure, Morrissey, Depeche Mode, Pearl Jam, Nirvana--the more tragic the better

  Buddy Guy--Feels Like Rain (not usually a huge blues fan, but this song guts me)
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  11

  Feeling A Bit Down Today

  by jacobm in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey y'all, .

  i'm not sure about you, but i occasionally get those days where i feel a bit down, as if i have no friends.

  i do have a number of great friends, though, and am very thankful for them.. i think it might have to do with the residual programming of having a "worldwide brotherhood".

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  Hey Jacob, maybe it's in the air because I have been having a down day too. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I was thinking about how even though I was surrounded by people all the time in JWland, I can only count on one hand the number of actual friendships I had in over 30 years.

  Maybe tomorrow will be better. Sorry I have nothing of more substance to offer.
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  30

  Has anyone noticed the JW movies are trying to normalise their lifestyle?

  by truthseeker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  having watched the prodigal son returns movie produced by the organization and a recent mini-clip of a brother in london who is shown jogging and doing normal everyday things while wanting to "reach out" it occurred to me that the organization is trying to normalize their bizarre lifestyle and beliefs for the benefit of non-witnesses.. what do i mean by normalization?

  they try to make the witnesses look like just another christian denomination who are reasonable while their members live and enjoy normal lives that appear to be within the mainstream.. they do this by not mentioning anything to do with higher education, armageddon or the urgency of the end of the world nor is their discussion or mention of the blood issue.

  these are things mentioned often at kingdom halls and in study articles.. watching the prodigal son returns, the family appears to live a normal life, going to meetings and studying.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  I don't know about normal....the 2 sons in the Prodigal Son movie were pretty old to still live at home and looking to dad and mom for approval and answers, especially the older brother. My still in husband said "So the older son is like the 40 year old virgin or something, no wonder the younger one wanted to get outta there."

  Totally agree with everyone here about the portrayal of the family's financial status being misleading. That's probably only an accurate portrayal of about 20% of the JWs I have known in the US, let alone worldwide.

  Oh, and what about the 1950s housewife having a home cooked dinner on the table right at 5:00 when dad walks in from finishing a day in his unrealistically successful carpentry business. I don't think that has been "normal" for at least 3 or 4 decades.

  The portrayal of working in an office in the city was also pretty funny, obviously scripted by someone who has never worked outside the walls of bethel.

  My hubby and I actually laughed about how not normal everything in the video was.

  It actually seemed more Stepford utopian to me, but I do agree the recent videos are an attempt to project an image of prosperity and balance among the JWs.
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  34

  Fade Fail: Not as Easy as I'd Like

  by Hadriel in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this has been tough.

  very tough actually.

  because i'm so integrated into things including certain tasks which i can't say as it would be a dead giveaway i find myself constantly bombarded by things.. i'm literally a lying every day.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  Hi Hadriel-

  I get it. I have been working on my unsuccessful fade for almost 2 years now..ugh! I am a very upfront and genuine person, so this piece of my life currently feels very inauthentic. Mentally I know fading is just a game, but it feels like I am losing pieces of the core of who I am by putting on this charade. So though I haven't any advice for you, I commiserate.

  It sucks!
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  83

  what buzz word from the jw's do you hate & why?

  by Sabin in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so my hubby has been on a bit of a roll about the jdubs, we were talking a lot about them & he said the buzz word he hate's the most is "worldly" why?

  because he say's "with that one word they have condemned (according to their believes) a person as being worthy of nothing but death.

  ".

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  "The Friends"--generic term for fellow JWs, who may or may not be your actual friends

  "Turn in your time"--just sounds ridiculous, plus the record keeping aspects always grated on me

  "publisher"--odd term for a member considering most have nothing to do with printing books or mags

  "making public declaration"--why not just say preaching

  "the truth" and "make the truth your own"
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  92

  Only a few days ago I was entirely lost and without hope the rug was pulled out from under me

  by elderess in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  only a few days ago i was walking around the house in a mindless wander thinking if i needed to seek professional help.

  then i got the courage to seek the comfort of complete strangers on the internet and found a world of support here on this website.

  thank you simon and whoever else has made this website possible.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  Wow! Your story gives me hope to lay it all out there to my spouse. I've been a real chicken because things are so good in our marriage, I don't want to mess it up. But it is tearing me apart to keep it inside...

  Maybe I can share a story like yours soon.
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  37

  Notable changes of the JWs org, in the last five years or so

  by glenster in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i've been updating the links at my web site and i'm working on the gtjbrooklyn pages now.

  what would you say are the several biggest changesin the jws organization/rules in the last five years or so?

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  I would agree with those who mentioned the GB making themselves the FDS. I knew about 607 and 1914 for a long time, but it didn't bother me enough to dig deeper.

  For some reason, the "new light" about the FDS really made me uncomfortable and agitated. It sent me into a research frenzy. I read the gospels, doing my best to remove "WT glasses" (hard for a born-in JW), and I came to the conclusion that it was only a parable, not prophecy. After that, the whole WT framework just tumbled for me. I no longer saw the GB as sincere bible students.

  Another big thing was the Revised NWT release. I was already distrustful of the GB at that point. So I began comparing a number of translations, and once again saw manipulation and dishonesty.

  My trust in the org was shattered and I doubt there would be much to restore it for me.

  And seeing Lett and Morris in action has also been enlightening 🙄
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  106

  Walking a thin line - Resigning Elder

  by Sanchy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  warning of a long boring post ahead.

  i feel like i need to vent my story out, as i feel quite helpless at the moment.. i'm 31 year old, married, father of toddler with another one on the way, due later this month.

  i've been serving as elder for about 4 years now in a south florida congregation.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  Hi Sanchy and welcome!

  May I offer a woman's perspective? Your wife has a lot on her mind with a toddler and new baby almost here. Between you stepping down, expressing your doubts, a pregnancy, and a young child to care for her stress level is probably high and her energy/ability to deal low. Do your best to support and love her and throw yourself into fatherhood, now you will have the time to do that since you're not wasting so much time on being an elder. What you do and how you treat her will go farther than poking holes in doctrine. Many JWs in the younger generations (I'm 40) seem not to be concerned with doctrine, it's about family, social, and hierarchy. But if you do talk about something--go SLOW!

  I was aware of the 607/1914 error for 20 years before it bothered me. I was aware of child abuse issues before I had my babies and it bothered me, but not enough to leave JWs. Once I had my children, I could not stop thinking about it. One day hubby and looked on the jw.org site news section and the Candace Conti verdict was posted! The next day we returned to the site to show my mom and it had been removed! What? So then I scoured the Internet to find more about the case and Pandora's box was open. From reading the all the media and court case info I could find it was beyond clear that the WT does not care about damage done to children from abuse nor do they protect children, or even do the right thing after the fact by reporting to authorities.

  You are in a unique position to share some insight with your wife, since you were an elder with the inside scoop on how child abuse is handled. You can let her know you couldn't in good conscience administer or back up WT policies on child abuse. And you don't have to show her anything apostate. There seem to be news articles every couple weeks about some JW perv.

  Again, I would stress not to make big issues right now. Just take a deep breath, love your wife, and your sweet babies.

  Wishing you all the best with your family!

  EyesOpenHeartBroken
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  121

  Hey ya'll! My first post. Please help. In need of advice/comfort.

  by Stepford Wife in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey ya'll!

  i have been lurking for years on this site and others but never had the courage to post anything.

  actually i was afraid of posting on an apostate site in the event i was wrong.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  I think the big question you need to ask is if your husband's priority is staying an elder. If that is the case, I have seen many elder's wives join what has been coined "the sick wives club". They usually "contract" a nebulous, chronic issue (i.e. Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, panic disorders, anxiety, headaches, bad back). Your husband can stay an elder and you'll still get invited to social activities. And you'll not be questioned again. Your husband will probably know you're faking it, but maybe it won't bother him because the brothers will get off his back. I have seen this scenario more times than I can count and it has seemed to me that the elder husband was fully aware of the wife's true health situation. Just sayin!

  I am very surprised that your husband agreed to this shepherding visit for you; it violates the headship principle and in all congregations I have been in, elders immediate families are not "shepherded" by the BOE.

  In your case, fading will be a challenge that will require a bit of acting on your part.

  BTW, I am not dismissing the above conditions as true health problems, but those are good ones to pick because they are chronic, incurable, and not terminal.