BeaverEater

Joined

• started 4 topics
• posted 11 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by BeaverEater

• 
  26

  Im hearing some say that the Org is about to reverse the No Blood policy - about to change...

  by BeaverEater in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  uh, i wonder if that is true... hearing this from friends within bethel... gonna laugh my ass of if they change this....

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BeaverEater

  Uh, I wonder if that is true... hearing this from friends within Bethel... gonna laugh my ass of if they change this...
  
• 
  5

  Anyone have an NDE or help me with mine?

  by BeaverEater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  approximately, 14 years ago i experienced a very violent explosion.

  i was air vacd to another city and died in route.

  i dont remember going anywhere or seeing a light, but it was after the fact that got weird.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BeaverEater

  Nah, one beaver is enough.. just trying to wrap this shit around my mind...
  
• 
  5

  Anyone have an NDE or help me with mine?

  by BeaverEater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  approximately, 14 years ago i experienced a very violent explosion.

  i was air vacd to another city and died in route.

  i dont remember going anywhere or seeing a light, but it was after the fact that got weird.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BeaverEater

  Approximately, 14 years ago I experienced a very violent explosion. I was air vacd to another city and died in route. I dont remember going anywhere or seeing a light, but it was AFTER the fact that got weird. I was in ICU for a few months and when released I had to do some followups with Drs. On one occasion I could not find the entrance to the facility and walked into the emergency unit... I was met by the original ambulatory crew, who I vaguely remembered, and they all turned white as ghosts and said YOU DIED. I was like what? The one guy was literally holding onto a medallion and they walked away...

  I started noticing that young children and babies would stare at me incessantly, to the point it was very uncomfortable, and parents who would try to turn them away and they would move around to once again make eye contact. During one visit downtown I had a psychic, new business opened, ask for me to come in for a free reading. She did her thing and about 10 minutes later she was visibly shaken and told me to leave as I had something attached to me? I would often and sometimes even now see shadows moving... I often wonder if this world is not meant for me...

  Finally, and most important, and the reason for this post, is that during this time and for the entire year, I had the same reoccuring dream night after night that would always progress from the night before, like a story. I remember it vividly, the sun, the smell, the people, everything. The people were individuals Ive never met, all about early 30s and younger, in a rural farm land type setting. The key person was this young woman whom Ive never seen before, extremely beautiful (the eyes and smile, freckles, facial structure, voice...) and I seemed to be very attached to her (we would talk, run, cry, laugh, etc), to the point that when the dream ended I felt longing, lost and depressed until the following night...

  Well, 14 years later I seem to be working with this girl now. I dont know how to explain it, it is her, and I dont know what to do. I have this obsessive attachment to her. She is married and I am also... I literally obsess on her 24/7... to the point im in mental and physical anguish.... help.

  My wife knows of the dreams, and I guess Ive been talking about this young woman too much that has caused my wife to be suspicious. I just dont know what she will think, or think Im nuts if I tell her its this girl... ugh

  This entire experience has been a soul torturer (and I wish an NDE on no one) and continues to be... at times I wonder if Charon should have exacted his toll....

  --Ill keep adding thoughts to this post as they come. Although my life from a career perspective has gone better than most, I do tend to have very bad luck. In addition, I dont feel satisfied, whole, but lost, empty, melancholy... etc. Im not nuts, I have a friend who is a psychiatrist and they indicated it could be PTSD which explains none of the other residual and immediate events surrounding this violent event...

  ...or even now, working with this woman who was in a dream 14 years ago. Just when I thought things were moving forward (kids have stopped staring, I still do see shadows, dreams went away...) this girl pops into my life... No idea where to go from this.

  I dont really know how to proceed... thought this anguish was leaving but I guess it never will... just my luck
  
• 
  137

  I find it interesting that after the cult people still hold on to religion....

  by BeaverEater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  im not an atheist, makes no mathematical sense, nor does the buy(more) bull(shit) god make any logical sense... maybe a deist on my best day, in the end you cannot get something from nothing, paradox if you ask me... but in reality i just dont care.

  while in, and moving out of the cult, its like a roller coaster, emotionally, yet, for me, over time, i just take it one day at a time, and if appeasing some special deity is required, well i guess i failed.

  lol.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BeaverEater

  Life is too complex to be chance. However, life in itself, energy in general, should not exist.
  
• 
  137

  I find it interesting that after the cult people still hold on to religion....

  by BeaverEater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  im not an atheist, makes no mathematical sense, nor does the buy(more) bull(shit) god make any logical sense... maybe a deist on my best day, in the end you cannot get something from nothing, paradox if you ask me... but in reality i just dont care.

  while in, and moving out of the cult, its like a roller coaster, emotionally, yet, for me, over time, i just take it one day at a time, and if appeasing some special deity is required, well i guess i failed.

  lol.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BeaverEater

  Math... yep went back to school for advanced mathematics, statistics, and physics. Lots of assumptions made for certain formulas to work. Spoken to several in this field, from technical perspective we should not exist... nothing should... yet we do.
  
• 
  16

  Details of my Disfellowshipping

  by Holy Grail 007 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i will tell you the truth because i do not tell lies and am always honest.

  in may 2006 i was diagnosed with bipolar.

  my wife separated from me against my will.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BeaverEater

  Your state of well being is toxic, both from you and external. You need a perspective shift and assistance to pull yourself out of the hole youre stuck in. In the end, you need medical help. The bybull will not help. Apologies in advance, but Jehovah, or whom ever you believe in, is also not going to help. Seek help for yourself. Make peace with yourself. All of us have an expiration date, live life to its fullest. Get yourself on track, engage yourself in a hobby, business, work, something that you want to get good at... last, but not least, find someone who appreciates you for who you are. They dont have to believe the same as you, just someone to help pick you up when you fall, and vice versa, someone that appreciates you for who you are. I dont want to shit on your faith, or beliefs, nor do I advocate going 180 degrees out, just be balanced. Realize at the end of all things, maybe or maybe not we are judged, if you live your life the best you can, no one can fault you, not even "god"...
• 
  137

  I find it interesting that after the cult people still hold on to religion....

  by BeaverEater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  im not an atheist, makes no mathematical sense, nor does the buy(more) bull(shit) god make any logical sense... maybe a deist on my best day, in the end you cannot get something from nothing, paradox if you ask me... but in reality i just dont care.

  while in, and moving out of the cult, its like a roller coaster, emotionally, yet, for me, over time, i just take it one day at a time, and if appeasing some special deity is required, well i guess i failed.

  lol.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BeaverEater

  Im not an atheist, makes no mathematical sense, nor does the Buy(more) Bull(shit) god make any logical sense... maybe a deist on my best day, in the end you cannot get something from nothing, paradox if you ask me... but in reality I just dont care. While in, and moving out of the cult, its like a roller coaster, emotionally, yet, for me, over time, I just take it one day at a time, and if appeasing some special deity is required, well I guess I failed. lol

  Christianity in of itself is a logical fallacy. Religion is a product of time and place... I just don't understand why some leave and embrace other wacky shit, or remain in the umbrella belief system of Christianity etc.

  Wondering how we got here, wasting time on pleasing a deity... I veered away... maybe for some, they need a crutch...
• 
  29

  Been years since Ive gone - should I bother with a letter?

  by BeaverEater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sig other is half assed still in, one family member is in... its been years... wondering if i should just let it be or just call up hq and say i resign... i will be pissed if they announce shit at the kh, though i dont even remember the last one i went to... lol.

  for me, its none of anyone elses business... thoughts?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BeaverEater

  Thanks. I wouldnt have any letter to write, other than please take me off your roles. Last cong I was in was at the ass end of town, no one even knew me there when I went, part of the fade... so, i guess it does not matter. Just pisses me off that Im sure somewhere in their database Im associated with the cult and thats what irks me. Probably best to forget about it. Ive moved on, really dont care about any of their shit... other than once in a blue moon going to the Memorial with sig other for support (basically she cant see shit at night and I have to drive lol...) other than that, thats it...
  
• 
  29

  Been years since Ive gone - should I bother with a letter?

  by BeaverEater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sig other is half assed still in, one family member is in... its been years... wondering if i should just let it be or just call up hq and say i resign... i will be pissed if they announce shit at the kh, though i dont even remember the last one i went to... lol.

  for me, its none of anyone elses business... thoughts?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BeaverEater

  Yea Ive been gone for 20 years... lol. Was wondering if there stupid notice to all members was still the same...
  
• 
  29

  Been years since Ive gone - should I bother with a letter?

  by BeaverEater in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sig other is half assed still in, one family member is in... its been years... wondering if i should just let it be or just call up hq and say i resign... i will be pissed if they announce shit at the kh, though i dont even remember the last one i went to... lol.

  for me, its none of anyone elses business... thoughts?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  BeaverEater

  Sig other is half assed still in, one family member is in... Its been years... wondering if I should just let it be or just call up HQ and say I resign... I will be pissed if they announce shit at the KH, though I dont even remember the last one I went to... lol. For me, its none of anyone elses business... thoughts?