Posts by mrsObfuscate

9

'Spotlight' film

by Jordandemm in

has anyone seen the film dont know if its been discussed on here, im just watching it now with my dad he is an elder, he went to do something else less than a 1/4 way through the film, he doesnt usually do that.

then he questioned why i choose to watch it not suspiciously i think he was just curious.

anyway its a film worth watching, its based on true events about the coverup of child abuse within the catholic church.

mrsObfuscate

This was a great film. Well worth watching.

11

700K+ views Ex-JW schoolgirl exposes organisation

by the girl next door in

if only every ex-jw could reach this same audience with videos and other avenues!

but this is truly remarkable.. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/ex-jehovahs-witness-schoolgirl-exposes-organisation-as-a-religion-that-destroys-lives-10273064.html.

a schoolgirl who left the jehovah’s witnesses after learning of its alleged failure to protect vulnerable women has blasted the organisation in a powerful speech to her classmates.. holding back tears, she recalled her personal experiences as a member of the church and how she was taught everyone outside the religion, including her father, would be sent to armageddon.

mrsObfuscate

This video was another factor that contributed to my exit.

19

You must not say Gee, Gee wiz, or Golly

by Truth and Justice in

jw
friends

before i start my subject post, i like to extend a warm welcome to all the new members that have joined the site.

i just can't keep up with all the new names.

nice to see all of you here.. i haven't posted anything in a while because of work, scheduling and everything else, but i do have some interesting thoughts that i would like to share with all of you in the coming months.

mrsObfuscate

There was an older sister in our congregation as kids who would reprimand us if we said "Damn!" Always thought this was over the top and wanted to educate her about all of the far worse "swear words" we could be using.

46

Books I read when I deprogrammed

by OrphanCrow in

jw
friends

blondie suggested someone start a thread with a list of books that are valuable to read when exiting the jws.. i will start.. i left the jws way back in the early 70s and didn't actually deprogram until into the 80s.. one of the first books i read was "the orwellian world of jehovah's witnesses" by gary and heather botting.

canadian exjws from calagary.

an excellent book and one that still resonates with young people today.

mrsObfuscate

Stephen Hassan's "Combatting cult mind control"

6

How and Why?

by The Rebel in

jw
friends

a recent thread i read about bethel " sending an old man packing" has bought to my attention it's one of many threads that show the most " loving" organisation in the world is cold and without love.. how can an organisation that is so unloving, have so many kind hearted people as members?.

this is the sincere question that i have not found an answer to.. the rebel..

mrsObfuscate

Rebel

I recently read a fantastic essay written by a woman who became involved in a "new age" cult. This is the link to the full essay - http://www.icsahome.com/articles/perfect-master-or-perfect-psychopath

She ponders a similar question to yours and I am sure that the rest of the essay will give further insights into why she said this-

I think about those whom I have left behind. Other ex –members say that some of the nicest people they have ever met are those they left behind in the cult. I wholeheartedly agree. Like attracts like. I was idealistic, altruistic, and ready to help. Those I left behind are that same way and that is why I miss them and their friendships. The sense of helplessness is overwhelming sometimes, especially when I think that many of those people are involved in the group because I brought them to it.

It made me wonder whether (as a general rule), the types of people attracted into the organization are already kind and lovely people who wish to use their positive qualities in some way to benefit others. Once they are in, they get caught up in the cult mindset and simply cannot or will not see the realities of the organization they belong to. They cling to the ideals that their beliefs hold out to them and this further adds to the difficulty of their seeing reality.

39

How do you feel about the expression "The Truth"?

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

it's amazing how the expression "the truth" has become such an ingrained term used by witnesses.. "we have 'the truth'".

"is he 'in the truth'?".

most here have found out so many facts about the organisation, and felt the effects of being "gut-punched" as we realised these facts.. so how do you feel about the expression "the truth" now?.

mrsObfuscate

I have to stop myself from referring to JW's as being "in the truth." It's so ingrained, but now that we have the whole picture of the organization it feels so very wrong.

How can something that is "The Truth" be constantly changeable?

61

New here

by MarkofCane in

hello and thanks to everyone for participating on this forum it has really been of much value, for those of you that post here know that your words are not lost you never know who is reading your expressions, lives are being changed and nonsense challenged.

i’m not much of a writer so excuse my untrained writing style and grammar but i want to share my story to help anyone who is visiting here to see that we are real people, fathers, mothers, sons and daughters who have come here for answers, there is no agenda, just searching for truth.

i hope my story will help others as so many here have helped me..

mrsObfuscate

MarkOfCane

Thank-you for putting your story out there and for sharing a part of your emotional journey.

I loved your comment/quote -

There is nothing more horrible than the murder of a beautiful theory by a brutal gang of facts.

I am thankful that I had a great deal of circumstances that led me to finally see TTATT, although it was still heartbreaking. From the story you have given so far, it would seem that you weren't given as soft a lead-up, as I was perhaps, to be exposed to the reality of the organisation. I can only imagine that the rollercoaster of emotions that resulted would have been overwhelming.

Welcome, and I hope that the experiences and information from others on this forum will continue to help you to get through this life-changing period.

52

Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel in

been lurking around here for several weeks.

posted once or twice but not too much.

i'm a covert fade at the moment.

mrsObfuscate

Hadriel, thank you for spilling your guts! It is always interesting to learn of others journey's.

Our family made a move out of our home town just under a year ago. I can highly recommend it. My children are smaller than yours, and it was difficult for them at first, but they have new friends now and I have to say that there is a great sense of relief in having friends outside of the organization. There are many kind and genuine people in this world and it is a wonderful feeling to not have to be tiptoeing around "treading on eggshells" as it were trying to constantly make a good impression to JW's. "Worldly people" take you for who you are and that in itself is an enormous relief.

Having some distance between us and former friends and our family made our exit that much easier.

Are your kids still at school? I agree that being involved in school, sports, music or whatever tickles your kids fancy are great ways to widen the scope and help them to make new friends.

13

Don't fall through the "cracks"

by mrsObfuscate in

being able to understand and identify the "cracks" (i.e.

unintended consequences) in the many systems we are surrounded by had a profound influence on my ultimate decision to step away from the org.

i mentioned in my first post there were many nuanced details that added up to help me to finally take the steps i needed to exit, and this was a fairly big one.

mrsObfuscate

Being able to understand and identify the "cracks" (i.e. unintended consequences) in the many systems we are surrounded by had a profound influence on my ultimate decision to step away from the ORG. I mentioned in my first post there were many nuanced details that added up to help me to finally take the steps I needed to exit, and this was a fairly big one.

Most of the information I exposed myself to, like many within the organization, was limited to WT literature, or from other witnesses. I was not one to just be interested enough in what was going on in the world around me to stop and research and try to make sense of it. Why would I need to? After all what more could we expect from Satan’s wicked system? Jehovah was going to fix it all in the end anyway! This type of thinking left me wide open to the possibility of “falling through the cracks.” Let me explain…

I had always taken the stance that knowing or talking about any problems that might exist within the organization would not be upbuilding or positive, and should thus be avoided at all costs. I would downplay when other Witnesses talked about their personal problems (mentally “blaming the victim”) and would definitely not believe someone if they told me of some problems that existed within the ORG. I understand now that this blinded me to the realities that were right under my nose and exposed me to the great possibility that I could be detrimentally impacted by the ORG. How did I finally come to realize this?

My ever-patient husband tried so many different ways to get me to start thinking about things and to break out of my zombie-like state of adherence to the JW mindset. He would send me articles that he had read about anything and everything. Political systems, the financial system, the health system, education system, climate change, cognitive biases, conspiracy theories…you name it, he’d read it! I felt least threatened by information he sent me that had nothing to do with religion or JW’s in particular. I was not always interested in the topics that he sent me but I could see that my understanding it was important to him, so I read it.

We had lengthy discussions about all of these topics and what stood out was that ALL of the systems have “cracks” in them. “Holes” that real people could fall down and have their lives, at the least negatively impacted, or at worst, completely ruined. I always had the idea that there were “bad apples” that existed within these systems, but believed that all in all the institutions themselves were good. Our discussions helped me to understand that these systems had mechanisms set up to protect the institution often at the cost of human lives, livelihoods, health, and happiness. That real people “fell through the cracks.”

A couple of the systems we discussed, were very important to me (health and education) and it was at this point that I made a terrifying mental connection – What if the system of worship that I based my entire life around wasn’t what I thought it was? What if the “cracks” existed in that institution too? It was a very scary thought.

Despite having this epiphany of sorts, I still managed to put this to the back of my mind. I am sure I thought that if I made myself blissfully happy within the organization by being as faithful and active as possible, I wouldn’t have to look at this new gaping hole that may exist or imagine how many others this may have impacted. The ARC then gave me no place to hide. The “cracks” were there, the “holes” enormous and worst of all it was obvious that the ORG was trying to deny that they existed and were unwilling to address them. They still are. I did not want to leave my children or myself in a vulnerable position to “fall through the cracks” within an organization unwilling to identify problems, openly discuss and endeavor to address them.

45

The story of my exit

by mrsObfuscate in

i have been lurking here for about 6 months, and being the last day of the year, and ready to start the new one afresh, i want to share the story of our exit from the org.

i have found the personal experiences of others of immeasurable value, (and its been a while since a good exit story has been posted) that i hope this can be of benefit to at least someone.. .

my mother became a jehovahs witness when i was about 9 or 10. i remember initially hating all of the new sanctions put on our lives (no birthdays and christmas anymore) but for some reason i soon after joined her in attending the meetings and eventually got baptized at the age of 14. my staunch catholic father converted a couple of years later.

mrsObfuscate

freddo

I am sure that the ARC had a special effect on me because I have witnessed in others the effects of childhood physical and emotional abuse. I have seen those effects linger on with a person even into their adult years. The effects are real and the hurt never really goes away. The hurt goes onto impact many of the people surrounding the abused person. I can only imagine that the effects of sexual abuse would be multiplied tenfold. The accounts of the victims in the ARC saddened me greatly. I was so disappointed for them that they did not get the help, love and support that they so desperately needed at the time and that many in their congregations made life even more difficult for them.