Posts by problemaddict

22

Update on "DA'd/DF'd"...

by Suraj Khan in

since many of you were kind enough to give your responses, or at least share in my confusion, i wanted to take some time to share things that went down in the last few days in my family.. to recap, i was born-in but thankfully the hogwash never took.

i was actively dodging meetings by age 13 by faking illness, usually missing 20 to 25 days of school per year.

i left my family to attend college and was told by a family member that an announcement was made in my local congregation the following year that i was disassociated.

problemaddict

Hey Suraj. I don't want my comments to be misinterpreted. I think you are doing the right thing by holding your emotions in check, and connecting with your fam. But at some point, when you have calmed down, it would be good to point out what has been done in the name of their faith. Not to induce shame, but to get them to think for themselves. You will need to be in total control of your emotions at the time you decide to do that.

We are what we do, not what we think. Your brother thinks he loves you, but his actions have shown otherwise. Let him redeem himself, and learn what it means.

29

Hate Crime against Members of a Congregation

by cantleave in

jw
friends

i recieved this email from an active witness regarding "hate crimes" against members of the congregation he/she attends.

it is interesting as to how the elders are dealing with it.. .

for some time our hall has been suffering minor vandalism.

problemaddict

There is alot of assumption in that persons e mail, but no real facts. If the elders suspect a person in particular, it won't get them in hot water legally to say the persons name and the police can do what they want.

It sucks anyone would vandalize the hall or any other property and terrorize old ladies. Not cool. They should go down no matter how they were initially treated.

28

Friends are studying with the JW's

by LouBelle in

i was studying spanish a little while ago - had to stop because of finances but became friends with the spanish teacher and we keep in touch, see each other now and again.

i just got a message from him:.

"hola louise, i would like to talk to you about 2 things, about the jws, as we are following this fatih, we find it interesting, we haven't been baptised yet, i want to make sure before making a mistake and the other thing that allan and i wold like to talk about is starting your own business.....".

problemaddict

Lou Belle,

They may not understand the significance of some of those things being new converts. Get into old predictions, blood refusal and the changes around that that contradict, and most importantly, the enforcement of belief through shunning. Find what it is that is hard to "give up". Is it birthdays? Explain why that rule makes no sense. Ya dig?

22

Update on "DA'd/DF'd"...

by Suraj Khan in

since many of you were kind enough to give your responses, or at least share in my confusion, i wanted to take some time to share things that went down in the last few days in my family.. to recap, i was born-in but thankfully the hogwash never took.

i was actively dodging meetings by age 13 by faking illness, usually missing 20 to 25 days of school per year.

i left my family to attend college and was told by a family member that an announcement was made in my local congregation the following year that i was disassociated.

problemaddict

I would have never thought twice about this in the recent past. What a difference a few months makes. Your FAMILY.....not some people just hanging around.....your FAMILY, didn't talk to you for 25 years!!!!

.....behind a technicality. This has to be pointed out to them. You were never baptized, were no different than anyone else on the planet, and yet even though you are their blood they went to special lengths to stay away from you even though anyone else in their lives who isn't a JW is perfectly fine to talk to, work with, etc.....behind a technicality that appears to have been abandon?

I think you should take the high road and get into speaking with your family so your kids can know their cousins etc... But honestly don't let them just walk with this stuff without it being brought to their attention.

19

There's this girl...

by noonehome in

quick back-story: i'm pretty young...old enough to go to war but too young to buy a beer (if i were in the states..maybe i am maybe i'm not...) compredo?

so i've had allot of doubts, but figured it was a fault in myself until my best friend left a year ago and has since been labeled apostate.

i've never shunned him, in fact, i still see him a few times a month in secret.

problemaddict

You are really young. So is she. Maintain a relationship, and try to be vague. Let her know you love God, and will always search for truth no matter where it leads. You will always support and care for her no matter what.

Leave open ended statements like that on the table.

@sooner.......great quote!

44

Is a slow fade being selfish when you have kids?

by dissonance_resolved in

so i got some great advice to take things very slowly with the husband and kids in order to be able to fade and still maintain contact with my parents and siblings.

but today i got a call from my son's teacher that he was having a meltdown because he was worried about all his friends and teachers being destroyed at armageddon.... first i felt like such a schmuck for ever having allowed that thought to enter my son's head, then i thought, is it psychological torture for me not to immediately correct the situation?

i had a long talk with him about how god is perfectly just and full of love and he didn't have to worry about that at all, but it still seemed lukewarm.

problemaddict

I have a toddler. My wife takes her to the meetings, and she loves it. People dotting on her, all the other little kids (just a few but still...).

But she is just a toddler. I am still wrapping my head around how I will make sure she thinks for herself. It seems I am going to have to be somewhat connected to these two worlds for the foreseable future. So I am making my game plan now.

Ultimately my daughter will be responsible for her own life and her own decisions. We all are. Even being indoctrinated at a young age, we ultimately have to stand up and take responsibility for what we did, what we believed, and who we are.

I sympathize with your situation. Maybe it is a little selfish. But then again, would your kids (not knowing their ages), know enough to know what is really going on? How would your husband react? Would the JW family love bomb the crap out of the youngsters and they would turn on their mom? I can only imagine the embarrasment and shame from that phone call. No judgement here.

The slow and steady win this race. Be a good person. Love your kids and think in their best interest always. Its the long game you are playing here, not the short. There may be some pain or problems short term for the long term good. What else can you do?

53

Hello

by newdawnfades in

jw
friends

i am a long time lurker who has finally decided to post.

i am still in along with my wife, kids and extended family.

i am in my 40s and was raised in the org.

problemaddict

Hey NDF,

Welcome to you. Alot of people like you here. Myself included. Working on my fade, but I'm only a few months in. In my 30's. People are waking up earlier now-a-days. Do what you need to for the sake of your family. Nobody knows them like you do. Start pulling them away without them realizing it.

19

PO refuses to give me a "shepherding" visit ... wtf ???

by Calebs Airplane in

so 2 weeks ago i received an email from the po... he wants to give my wife and i a shepherding call very soon... but get this... he mentioned that they had already made shepherding calls to the entire congo and we were the only ones left... i don't know whether i'm i supposed to feel loved or despised (by that completely irrelevant comment).

he's probably doing this to impress the co who is probably visiting soon.... my response to his email was basically: no problem... please feel free to stop by anytime... however, no need to come with a second person.

i would prefer a 1 on 1 meeting (not 2 on 1).

problemaddict

Chaserious is correct. I have had one on one visits. He knows what you "sound like", and will not go on his own for reasons you already know. he made up the scriptural support for it. There is no direction scripturally in this regard.

17

Wanted - A 'Reverse Witness'

by The Song Remains The Same in

so the want-to-be-jw wife is getting harder to keep from believing all the nonsense that the wt spouts.

it is really getting me down as it simply does not compute from my perspective (and many on here i suppose) how and why rational and sane individuals would swallow all the garbage... the phrase i hate the most is "imperfect men", it gets me so wound up when i point out the flip-flops and flaws, and then i ask how anyone would follow 'imperfect men'... up next is "but i truely believe they are god's chosen organisation", but i cannot find any basis for that belief whatsoever... arrgghhh.

she went to some big meeting last weekend and came back all happyified.

problemaddict

Hey Song,

You are right that they discourage it. But they do not BAN it. Different things. As crazy as it is when you are the sane one, you have to watch that what you say is always accurate.

Wife: My husband says you all ban extracrricular sports, is that true?

Elder: No of course not. Where did he get that from. The internet?

Wife: Yeah. I think so.

Elder: Well you can't trust any of those people. Wouldn't you rather come to the source to get the correct information about someone? We do not "ban" competative sports. in fact, our brthers play basketball many times after meeting. Many of our young ones have chosen to forego association that they may consider dangerous to their spirituality, and even take up more time in their preaching work which is the most noble extracirricular activity we could engage in wouldn't you say? We admire their choices and thank jehovah for our young ones.

Wife: Yeah! He is clearly getting bad info.

Aftermath.......everything you find on-line is tainted and wrong. Remember, they are telling her that persecusion will come from her own house hold....vis a vis.....you!

46

Candace Conti v. Watchtower | March 11, 2013 | Watchtower Society Appeal Dismissed For Failure To File Opening Brief

by jwleaks in

edit correction:.

the court web site lisiting reflects the following below, but we have been informed that the watchtower society has been given yet another extension until march 26, 2013.. the below post will be left as is, for those who may have wondered what happened.. .

congratulations candace conti.

problemaddict

I think it is of note that the counsel for the WT is local in California and quite savvy having a family owned and run succesful legal practice for quite some time. In addition, there are contemporaries of his locally that do NOTHING but serve as legal counsel for the branch from their homes in a semi-retired capacity. I am sure he intends to follow through with the appeal, and will do so when they feel they are ready. Of that I have no doubt.