The only thing I can contribute to this is what stood out to me so clearly when you said this:
I do want it to work and I will do what it takes but then I think that it may be easier to let it go, even though it will be difficult. So what do I really want? I don't know.
I added bold. I honestly don't think you love your husband. If it may be easier to let "it" go, then you don't really love him. Thats my opinion.
I don't see the point of trying to have a relationship with a man who is going to be unforgiving if I can't even have a relationship with Jehovah, who is all forgiving. Also, I hate change so moving out will be hard.
"A man who is going to be unforgiving" - OMG you speak of him this way because you've betrayed his entire trust in you? Then the comment about "also I hate change"
Seriously, my opinion is that if you love someone, you don't say "I don't want to leave him because I hate change" you say "I don't want this to be over because he is my world, my life, my best friend.....I can't envisage my life without him". Because you are actually thinking of just giving up on the marriage I don't think you love him.
I'm only saying this because maybe thats the question you should be asking yourself.
Sirona