Jan
The popular stories about the ancient goddess-religions predating the partiarch religions lack all foundation in fact. It was a mystical feminist fantasy. All evidence suggests that almost universal oppression of women has been with us since the origin of humaity.
I do not think that equality of sexes came before patriarchy, but I do think that there is some evidence for religions existing which elevated women to an equal, or higher status than men. Religions which had Goddesses aswell as Gods. I know you will ask for references, but I'm at work and I'd have to check my books at home.
I recall that one of these books states that there have been significantly more Goddess images discovered than God images. A suggestion is made that since very primitive peoples were not aware that the man had a role in procreation, women were elevated to a higher status than men.
You are right that Neo-Pagan faiths overemphasise the idea that ancient peoples believed in sexual equality. In Neo-Paganism, the woman is equal and sometimes is elevated above the man. I believe that Neo-Paganism grew in the latter part of the last century for this very reason.
Personally, I don't mind what history says. I know that a Goddess figure has existed throughout most of human history and I enjoy being part of a religion that treats us as equal.
Sirona