Oracle,
That list is a good one, but will only be of use when he has stopped drinking.
When drinking, life is totally unmanageable. The idea of going to the gym is ludicrous to someone in the grip of alcoholism. For many who have issues with alcohol, the idea of "just a few drinks" is also ludicrous. If its bad, the person feels they cannot stop once they start.
5Th needs to focus on one thing and one thing only.....getting better. You can deal with the JW issues in due time. My advice...my list for the very difficult times, before you can "heal" is:
1. Keep busy no matter what! Never ever sit there wondering if you should drink. Simply keep busy - don't allow yourself time to consider a drink.
2. Get support. AA is good for many people. Personally I think that talking about alcohol for 2 hours isn't the greatest thing....see point 3. However as a temporary measure even, if you're feeling like you can't cope, go to AA. You will have someone to ring up when things are tough - someone who will remind you why you should never resort to alcohol. If you like AA you can continue, if you don't like it, you can stop.
3. Don't think about alcohol if you can help it. If it comes into your mind, think of a word which will switch things over - like ""POISON"". E.g. I wonder if I should drink some xxxxx - immediately say to yourself NO ITS POISONOUS and will harm me. Then immediately get busy,...see point 1. Never ever allow yourself to reason that "just a bit will be OK".
4. If you just can't get busy, you just can't cope, sleep. Its a good temporary measure to pass the time. If you have an hour's sleep sometimes you will wake without the craving. Just be aware that you shouldn't make a habit of sleeping too much. In the first few days of abstinence though, its a good measure to stop you reaching for the booze.
5. Throw out all alcohol from the house, or get a family member to throw it out or give it to someone else.
6. Never be hungry. Drink fruit juice - your body is used to frequent calories from alcohol so a nice sugar rush is required. Treat yourself with ice-cream or nice food - obviously this is a temporary thing but you can start improving your diet after a bit of time with no alcohol.
7. When you haven't had a drink for a few days, write down how you are feeling. Write down how much better you feel. It helps because there will be a time when you start craving a drink again and at least you can refer to the fact that you feel tons better when sober. Keep in mind that if you have humiliated yourself when drunk, this can be rectified....the new sober you will become the "you" that everyone gets to know and they'll forget the other stuff.
8. Don't avoid restaurants. Take someone you can trust with you and make sure you don't order alcohol. This is valuable because you won't feel deprived because you can still go wherever you want to.
9. Ditch bad friends. Ditch drinking friends if they don't understand and if they put you under any type of pressure to drink. You can be there for them to some extent but your recovery is paramount.
10. Buy yourself something with the money you saved. Tot up how much money you would have spent on booze and give yourself a pat on the back for staying sober.
11. Never - EVER - think into the future - a future without Alcohol. Just think about today.
I hope that helps.
Sirona
