Funchback

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Posts by Funchback

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  46

  Can a witness receive a massage?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  just wondering if witnesses are aloud to go and receive a massage and be touched by other than their spouse?

  i'm talking about a normal clean massage here, don't get me wrong.. .

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  Funchback

  They not only receive them, they also GIVE them. It seems to be to "in" thing to do because you work less and you can pioneer.

  However, while massages are allowed text messages are NOT.
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  14

  How Would You Like To Be Remembered?

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  before you go thinking that this is a 'minimus'-type thread, the title i have chosen is the title from the august 15, 2003 watchtower.. the photos on the cover are of a young man (22ish).

  in the lower-left corner he is a basketball player.

  so, how does the wts want you to be remembered?

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  Funchback

  LDH-

  I just realized that I want to be remembered as the guy who Lisa remembered!
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  14

  How Would You Like To Be Remembered?

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  before you go thinking that this is a 'minimus'-type thread, the title i have chosen is the title from the august 15, 2003 watchtower.. the photos on the cover are of a young man (22ish).

  in the lower-left corner he is a basketball player.

  so, how does the wts want you to be remembered?

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  Funchback

  Before you go thinking that this is a 'minimus'-type thread, the title I have chosen is the title from the August 15, 2003 Watchtower.

  The photos on the cover are of a young man (22ish). In the lower-left corner he is a basketball player. On the lower-right he is a business man apparently barking orders on the phone to one of his employees. On the top-right he is peering through a peep-hole looking at girls undressing in an all-girl college dormitory locker room (Just kidding! I wanted to make sure that you are really reading this!). Seriously, in the top-right corner he is peering through a microscope and he is wearing a white lab coat. In the center photo (which is two times bigger than the other three photos), the young man is either a Sears mannequin or he's giving a talk in the KH library (no microphone is visible). To quote from the show 'SESAME STREET', "Which of these kids is doing their own thing?...", the young man appears to be angry, serious, and/or bored with SECULAR work, but as the mannequin/JW he has a goofy, plastic smirk/smile (a smirkle???) on his face. Obviously, the WTS objective is to have your secular occupation be viewed as secondary to your JW aspirations because there is no greater way to be remembered than as a loyal, dedicated JW (plain ol' Publisher's need not apply!).

  So, how does the WTS want you to be remembered? Oh, let us count the ways:

  1) The day of one's death is greater than the day of one's birth. (Hey, I got an idea! Let's all celebrate DEATHdays instead of birthdays! We can eat REGULAR (non-unfermented) cake and grape juice. Besides, they can't call it unscriptural. They wouldn't know how to handle this!)

  2) Our relationships with others are surely more significant than any other short-term achievements we may have in the world of sports or business. (How does the WTS get away with making an apple-to-orange comparison of "relationships with others" to ones professional achievements?)

  3) Are you approachable or aloof? Kind or harsh? Flexible or excating? Warm and humane or cold and impersonal? A destructive critic or a constructive counselor? >Gee! I wish the WTS would ask THEMSELVES these same questions because......

  4) ..."Can you look at yourself objectively and say that you have a fine reputation with other people and with God?" (Well, CAN you WTS???)

  5) A papragraph talks about Nabal and how he was a jerk because he wasn't hospitable to David. "So, what kind of name did Nabal make for himself? The Bible record says that he was harsh and bad in his practices and a good-for-nothing fellow. His name means 'sensesless,' and he certainly lived up to it." (***Question: Why would his parents name him Nabal if it meant "senseless"???) Then, some gems...

  6) "Would you like to be remembered that way? Are you harsh and unrelenting when dealing with others, especially if it appears that they are at a disadvantage?" (Hmm, ask those questions to the next person who has to face a judicial committee. Three against one. Or, ask those same questions when a JW finds out some "dirt" on the WTS and you try to confront the issues with the GovBod (or, even the local elders) ).

  7) Stuff like this in another paragraph really get me ticked: "David and 400 of his men girded on their swords and set out to teach Nabal a lesson." ("Boooo-Hoo-Hoooo! I am David and Nabal disrespected me! I must go now and kick his ass (an maybe choke his chicken!") "Abigail, Nabal's wife, got to hear what had happened." Basically, she met David halfway with food and provisions and then David "softened up" (Yeah, right. "HA-HA! Nabal's wife likes me BETTER than her own hubby! This is BETTER than kicking Nabal's ass (or choking his chicken!") "Shortly after these events, Nabal died" (Yup! Probably had a heart attack when he found out that his own sold him out!). "David, recognizing Abigail's good qualities, then took her as his wife." (Uh-huh! Along with her pretty face and J-Lo booty and the delicious chicken and greens she made. What a snake that David was! Him and Abigail must have liked each other from the get-go and prayed that Nabal would die so that Abigail and David could hook-up legally this time. At least Jehovah did the killing instead of David himself (ala Bathsheba) ).

  8) Abigail had a good reputation because she was "good in discretion," or "intelligent," sensible and practical. The paragraph continues: "Eventually she died". (Golly! For real???) By the way, on page 5 there is a picture of Abigail AND her large ass (her ass can even hold baskets of food). Even her ass has an ass (really, it's on page 5).

  9) Peter was remembered for his very human weaknesses. "But he was humble enough to admit his failings. Do you have that virtue?" (No, WTS, I don't have that virtue. I don't make mistakes. My light, however, does get newer and brighter).

  10) There are then several paragraphs about Jesus and what he is remembered for. Now, please read this and tell me if the WTS is describing itself: "When Jesus was on earth, the Jewish people were weighed down with religious rules and regulations that went beyond the requirements of the law. Their religious leaders were burdening people with heavy loads, while they themselves were not budging the loads with one of their fingers. What a contrast, therefore, was Jesus! People were refreshed when they associated with Jesus. He did not intimidate his disciples, so that they were afraid to express themselves. In fact, he asked questions to draw them out. (Is the WTS like Jesus or the Jewish religious leaders?)

  11) "Christian overseers do well to ask themselves: 'Do I make the same impression on fellow believers? Do other elders really tell me what they believe, or do they hesitate to do so?' " (I guess only elders are allowed to speak their mind. You sisters and non-elders better just shut-up and take it).

  12) "Unreasonableness only discourages frank and free discussion." (Everything that is spoken in the KH from the platform is scripted. Among JWs, when is any discussion ever "frank and free"???)

  13) Is Jesus the next Dave Chappelle? According to one paragraph, Jesus was a regular Jerry Seinfeld: "Did Jesus have a sense of humor? Some readers may sense a touch of humor when they come across the passage where Jesus said that it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God." (Hey, Jesus, maybe you ought to try telling some "momma" jokes). "Another example is the straw in a brother's eye but not obseving the rafter in one's own eye." (That's some side-splitting humor there, yesiree!) "No, Jesus was not a tight-lipped martinet."

  14) "Jesus is remembered for his many humane qualities. He sets the standard for all who want to be his followers. How closely do you follow his example?" (How does the WTS view a person who grows up in the troof but wants to wait until turning 30 before he gets baptized? After all, isn't that what Jesus did?)

  15) Finally, the article names THREE modern-day examples of people who died. Naturally, they ALL were JWs. The article failed to mention notable names like Gandhi, Princess Diana, and Martin Luther King. However, I guess their character is mud all because they weren't Dubs.
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  50

  MY JC - I AM SO SICK

  by rebel in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have never tried to hurt anyone in my life.

  i have always tried to love others from my own childhood upbringing.. i have been treated like a traitor.

  everything i said was twisted.

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  Funchback

  Yo, Reb!
  Hang in there. Also, don't stay away TOO long! We need you here! - Funch
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  6

  JWs are HUMBLE, MEEK, and they DON'T BRAG!

  by Funchback in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  guys like this are a dime-a-dozen in god's so-called organization.... http://www.cleveland.com/living/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/living/1054546530199272.xml.

  michael wilcox, 67, cleveland .

  q. when do you consider a gentleman fully dressed?

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  Funchback

  Hey, Redneck-

  I know what you mean. There's always one man in any given congregation that wears clothes that are two sizes too small AND that look like they're from the '70s.

  Another thing I notice is that when some JWs have outdated clothes they simply ship the clothes to Bethel.
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  6

  JWs are HUMBLE, MEEK, and they DON'T BRAG!

  by Funchback in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  guys like this are a dime-a-dozen in god's so-called organization.... http://www.cleveland.com/living/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/living/1054546530199272.xml.

  michael wilcox, 67, cleveland .

  q. when do you consider a gentleman fully dressed?

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  Funchback

  Guys like this are a dime-a-dozen in God's so-called organization...

  http://www.cleveland.com/living/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/living/1054546530199272.xml

  Michael Wilcox, 67, Cleveland

  06/02/03

  Q. When do you consider a gentleman fully dressed?

  A. "When he puts on his cuff links. When yo uget dressed, get dressed, or don't bother."

  A well-dressed man's insights

  Before dress-down Fridays started the casual trend, men donned suits, ties and dress shirts for work.

  They coordinated their pocket scarves to their ties. They matched their socks to their trousers. They finished their look with a fine selection of cuff links. There was an understanding that personal image was directly related to respect.

  Paying attention to these details is Michael Wilcox's primary lesson for those who long to continue this image of a well-dressed man.

  Wilcox, a Jehovah's Witness minister and a private investment consultant, is wearing a suit from Saks Fifth Avenue, paired with a shirt and coordinating tie from Dillard's. He adds some finesse with a pocket scarf, and he matches his socks to his trousers. That's the kind of detail that gives you a valuable insight into his self-image.

  His summer straw hat ($150) from Mike the Hatter in Cleveland adds a touch of fun to his otherwise traditional look.

  With 35 suits in his closet, hanging next to 50 or so shirts and 100 ties, Wilcox has developed a strong foundation for a fashionable man's wardrobe.

  "My ties change all the time," says Wilcox. "Right now the wider tie is in, so I'll wear those until the styles change."

  Wilcox looks to the book "Dress For Success" as a resource for creating his sartorial image. He also relies on his wife of 22 years, Delecia, for solid fashion input.

  "Delecia has a great eye for color - she's a color master," says Wilcox.

  He has learned to stick with earth tones that work well with his complexion. He makes sure all the individual fashion pieces blend together well.

  With a $100 monthly fashion budget, Wilcox spends to maintain his style rather than reinvent it.

  Wilcox will indulge in custom-made shirts, an extravagance that he says is well worth the high price tag.

  "I've had several shirts made," says Wilcox. "You get the style you want and a fit you'll never find over the counter."

  At $75 a pop, longevity matters. He is still wearing some custom shirts that are 30 years old.

  "They're as good-looking as the day I had them made."

  -Brenda Sue Junkin, Plain Dealer stylist

  Contact Brenda Sue Junkin at:

  [email protected], 216-999-4541
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  7

  Posing With Pets - Post Your Best Pics of You and Your Pet

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  below is me and pepe.

  we're both black and white (she on the outside, me on the inside), we both have green eyes, and we both like seafood.

  how come my pic shows the link instead of the pic???

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  Funchback

  Thanks for the assist, nilfun!

  Country_Woman: Those three dogs are awesome! They happen to be my favorite dogs (and I like German Shepards).
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  7

  When Do Worldly Friends Begin to Get Shunned?

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i first started to study with the dubs, i was about 8 years old.

  my mom became a jw but she was very lax with the rules.

  she never made me "give up" my non-jw friends (perhaps because my dad never became a dub).

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  Funchback

  Great replies, all of you!

  Excellent point, shamus:

  "I'm done with you... get away from me Satan..." and go into your self-rightcheous life, like nothing happened. Therefore, people are taught how to use people for their own good, and to throw friendship away at the whim of their conscience.
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  7

  When Do Worldly Friends Begin to Get Shunned?

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i first started to study with the dubs, i was about 8 years old.

  my mom became a jw but she was very lax with the rules.

  she never made me "give up" my non-jw friends (perhaps because my dad never became a dub).

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  Funchback

  When I first started to study with the Dubs, I was about 8 years old. My mom became a JW but she was very lax with the rules. She never made me "give up" my non-JW friends (perhaps because my dad never became a Dub).

  However, don't most JW parents (even the more strict ones) allow their young children to play with non-JW children at school and in the neighborhood? In my experience, even my JW peers had just "friends". They didn't call them worldly and they didn't call them Christian. They were simply called "friends".

  But it seems that these friends were only temporary. As one got older (teens), the rules got more strict. Suddenly, you weren't allowed to have friends who were "worldly". If you called someone your friend who WASN'T a JW, then you would receive looks of disapproval from your JW comtemporaries. Besides, those of us who began to put our faith into practice would cut-off those worldly friends anyway. Certainly, we didn't want to be an "enemy of God" just to be "friends of the world". So, we just associated with fellow Dubs.

  So, again. my question is: When do worldly friends become worldly? When do we stop viewing them as friends and start viewing them as bad association? My mind began to ponder this after I read the following article:

  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  http://www.boston.com/dailyglobe2/144/oped/Shanae_Anderson+.shtml

  
  

  [ Send this story to a friend | Easy-print version | Search archives ] Shanae Anderson By 0, 5/24/2003 The Harbor School Teacher: Karen Engles THE MOST courageous thing I have ever done would have to be when I was in the fifth grade. A bunch of my friends came to sit next to me at lunch and started talking about religion. At that moment my heart started gushing, I started sweating and fidgeting because I knew that I was the only Jehovah's Witness in my whole class. To tell them that would be like waiting for a pit bull to jump over the fence and bite me. I wasn't about to let that happen. So, as I was about to leave, my friend Roni asked, ''What religion are you, Shanae?'' I couldn't lie, so I simply said I don't feel comfortable talking about that and left. That night, I thought about what my friends would have thought about my religion, and if they were going to find out. I talked to my mom about what happened. She said, ''Girl, what's the matter with you? You should be proud to say that you are a Jehovah's Witness.'' I dug deep into my soul to find the right answer. I didn't know whether to tell my friends the truth or leave them wondering. That night I found my answer. I was going to preach what I believe in. The next day at lunch I sat with my friends. Out of the blue I said, ''Listen, I'm a Jehovah's Witness and that's what I believe in.'' For a moment it got silent. So silent that you could hear the thinnest piece of paper fall on the floor as if 20 eighth-graders came stampeding down the steps. Then everybody began talking again. After everyone was told to line up, my friend Sharon told me she has a cousin who is a Jehovah's Witness. That's the day I could say, ''Hey, I got courage!'' This story ran on page A101 of the Boston Globe on 5/24/2003.
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  6

  Drunk JW in the News

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.expressandstar.com/artman/publish/article_32856.shtml

  ban ordered for smash driver

  a freelance photographer who crashed while over the drink-drive alcohol limit was banned from driving.

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  Funchback

  http://www.expressandstar.com/artman/publish/article_32856.shtml

  Ban ordered for smash driver May 24, 2003, 10:39:00

  A freelance photographer who crashed while over the drink-drive alcohol limit was banned from driving.

  Police called to an accident in Station Road, Norton Bridge, near Stone, found a Renault Megane embedded in a hedge side-on to the road.

  Miss Sara Beddow, prosecuting, said a man standing nearby, Christian Wyatt, initially denied being the driver and said his brother had been behind the wheel.

  Wyatt was unsteady on his feet and smelled strongly of liquor. Police arrested him after he failed a roadside test, Mid Staffordshire magistrates court heard.

  He then told officers: "I take full responsibility for the accident."

  Miss Beddow said Wyatt made no attempt to stop at a junction and gone across two carriageways of a major road before colliding with a hedge.

  A blood test showed he had 111 miligrams of alcohol in 100 mililitres of blood, the limit being 80.

  Wyatt, aged 22, of Meadow View, Shallowford, near Stafford, was yesterday banned from driving for a year and fined a total of £350 with £55 costs after admitting driving with excess alcohol and careless driving.

  Mr Chris Clark, defending, said Wyatt panicked and gave his brother's details. "He then owned up immediately and co-operated entirely."

  There was a problem with the Intoximeter procedure at the police station and Wyatt was asked to give a blood sample instead.

  "It wasn't an easy decision for him to make because he is a Jehovah's Witness."