Funchback

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Posts by Funchback

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  2

  Gathering Outbursts!

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was a dub, i can think of three occasions where someone protested/objected to the goings-on at a gathering.

  people really made themselves look look like jackholes.

  gathering 1): me, my brother and my friend went to a 'talent show' gathering (sounds like a great thread topic, eh?).

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  Funchback

  myauntfanny-

  "There's no blood in that sausage is there?"

  LOL! I can only shake my head incredulously.
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  2

  Gathering Outbursts!

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was a dub, i can think of three occasions where someone protested/objected to the goings-on at a gathering.

  people really made themselves look look like jackholes.

  gathering 1): me, my brother and my friend went to a 'talent show' gathering (sounds like a great thread topic, eh?).

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  Funchback

  When I was a Dub, I can think of three occasions where someone protested/objected to the goings-on at a gathering. People really made themselves look look like Jackholes.

  Gathering 1): Me, my brother and my friend went to a 'Talent Show' gathering (Sounds like a great thread topic, eh?). We came up with an idea to do a Rap about Bible stories. There was nothing 'hardcore' about our words or appearance. In fact, we were quite lame. But, after my brother did his part, my friend was about to do his part. The audience was made up of over a hundred people! Suddenly, a man stands up from the audience and yells:"Turn it OFF! TURN it OFF! Rap music is deMONic!" He then ran out of the building. Needless to say, the gathering kinda just ended. Me, my brother, and my friends ended up looking like WE were guilty of something. We even ended up in the library of our hall after the next meeting.

  Gathering 2): Me and my friend (the same one from 'Gathering 1') were DJing a wedding reception. The VERY first song we put on was by a woman named Lynn Tyler who had a one-hit wonder song called, 'Girls Night Out'. The opening chorus goes like this: "It's the girls night out. N-N-Night out...". Really, the song is about women going out together without the fellas. Well, the Jackhole brother comes up to us with that smug, superior, pompous JW, I'm-about-to-counsel-you face. Come on, YOU know the face I'm talking about! Anyway, he stands over our turntable and begins circling his head in motion with the record (like, he's reading the label on the record). Then, he says to us. "Do you really think this song is appropriate? What do you think those lyrics really mean? Do they encourage wives to leave their husbands?" I never wanted to kick a man's booty more than this guys. Turns out, that was the only song we played that night. Two days later, I had food poisoning from the food that was served at that reception. The food, by the way, was made by the JWs themselves! I guess Jehovah was punishing me for playing an adulterous song .

  Gathering 3): This time, I am the Jackhole! I went to a graduation gathering (screw it...let's call it what it is: A party!). The DJ began playing some songs that bothered MY conscience (not that those songs would bother me now)! Anyway, I was sitting at a table with about 8 other folks and I made it known that I wasn't going to sit there and listen to this 'terrible' music! Everyone knew why I was leaving. Leave it to Sister Gossip to put additional words in my mouth and tell the mother of the graduate why I left. The mother called me on the phone and 'fought' with me for "making a scene" when I was leaving. Sadfully, I now know how foolish I must have looked when I put on my very own smug, superior, pompous JW, I'm-about-to-counsel-you face.

  You got any 'gathering' outbursts you want to share?
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  44

  Congregation Picnics

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my former congregation usually had a congregation picnic once a year.

  all of the brothers (a/k/a men) had to pay for all of the food.

  the sisters (a/k/a women) had the godly priviledge of serving the food.

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  Funchback

  razorMind-

  Your congregation sounds like it was extra-boring. Mine was boring, but at least we got a picnic once a year...
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  44

  Congregation Picnics

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my former congregation usually had a congregation picnic once a year.

  all of the brothers (a/k/a men) had to pay for all of the food.

  the sisters (a/k/a women) had the godly priviledge of serving the food.

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  Funchback

  kls-

  The sister made you say 'Jehovah' each time you wanted to pass by? What a strange thing to do. Funny....but strange!
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  44

  Congregation Picnics

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my former congregation usually had a congregation picnic once a year.

  all of the brothers (a/k/a men) had to pay for all of the food.

  the sisters (a/k/a women) had the godly priviledge of serving the food.

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  Funchback

  Ours went beyond the 70's. In fact, they had them at least until 2002.
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  44

  Congregation Picnics

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my former congregation usually had a congregation picnic once a year.

  all of the brothers (a/k/a men) had to pay for all of the food.

  the sisters (a/k/a women) had the godly priviledge of serving the food.

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  Funchback

  My congregation had some moderate to heavy drinkers. So, there was always a cold brew ready to be had at these picnics.

  Too bad I wasn't much of a drinker.
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  31

  what if the earth rotated backwards?

  by hungry4life in

  1. social
  2. family

  .

  my seven year old daughter just asked me this and i am stumped couldn't find anything on the net either.. can anyone out there help me answer this for her?

  thanks

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  Funchback

  If the earth rotated backwards then you would hear subliminal messages.
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  44

  Congregation Picnics

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my former congregation usually had a congregation picnic once a year.

  all of the brothers (a/k/a men) had to pay for all of the food.

  the sisters (a/k/a women) had the godly priviledge of serving the food.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Funchback

  My former congregation usually had a congregation picnic once a year. All of the brothers (a/k/a men) had to pay for all of the food. The sisters (a/k/a women) had the Godly priviledge of serving the food.

  The music was usually a blend of Kingdom Melodies and Smooth Jazz.

  My least favorite part was the prayer. Everything had to stop. Whether you were playing Volleyball or if you were fishing or if you were walikng along the trail, you would inevitably here the call: "Everybody, come on over. We are about to say the prayer!". And, mind you, this was the call that can be heard at the entire PUBLIC PARK because we always rented the picnic area that had the shelter and electricity. NORMAL families that were gathered at the neighboring picnic areas would look over at us like we were weird! Then, the prayer would always begin with, "Dear heavenly father, Jehovah..."

  Oh, well. At least the food was good.

  So, what were YOUR congregation picnics like?
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  2

  First Words After Being Resurrected: "Did you give money to the Society?"

  by Funchback in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  from the back page of the august 1, 2004, watchamatower:

  (from nigeria)

  "our son, anderson, died when he was 14. before his death, he was raising two chickens.

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  Funchback

  From the back page of the August 1, 2004, Watchamatower:

  (From Nigeria)

  "Our son, Anderson, died when he was 14. Before his death, he was raising two chickens. He wanted to sell them and then send the money to the branch office as a contribution to the worldwide preaching work. But he died before they could be sold.

  "In view of his desire, we, his parents, raised the chickens and sold them. We are sending the money to you as Anderson's contribution. Because of Jehovah's promise, we are confident that we will soon---very soon---see Anderson again. We would like to say, 'Yes!' when he asks if we carried out his heart's desire."

  Sheesh! The kid gets resurrected and he's gonna ask about those flickin'-blickin' chickens???

  It would be funny if they sold them to the Branch Overseer. That would be the equivalent of the WTS double-dipping (which they do anyway).
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  94

  MEN ONLY- Freezing up at the Urinal!

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  women are invited to read this but they most certainly won't be able to relate.

  i know there have to be a lot of men out there who can't pee while in a crowded public restroom (bathroom).

  personally, the more people who surround me while i'm standing at the urinal, the more difficult it is for me to pee.

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  Funchback

  myauntfanny:

  I guess I stand corrected. Some women can relate!