Posts by Funchback

It would be interesting when a rogue apostate sets up shop on the convention grounds armed with a megaphone, expecting the usual swarming circle of brothers to surround him.

Except this time, those attendants are packing heat and tazers...LOL!

44

Can you believe the opening song at the memorial tonight?!

by Indian Larry in

did anybody (who went to the memorial) notice the opening song?.

keep in mind that this is the most important night of the year for the witnesses.

it is supposed to be all about jesus christ.

Funchback

Drearyweather

First, you are full off poo-poo when you say you are not supporting. Of course you are. All of your posts that I have read indicate that you are.

And, also when you said "I am currently discussing this with a family member". You remind me of the JW who gets caught watching porn and says that he is doing research for a talk.

You are of the Richard Oliver ilk.

Then, to throw in this charm: "the first century apostles of Christ and other Christians (including women)."

OK, then. Just don't ask them to carry a mic, among many other things they can't do on earth as JWs. Sure, they're good enough to co-rule with this Christ character and also help slaughter billions, including you and your family (since you are here associating with us condemned apostates), but they are unqualified to say an opening prayer.

19

Jehovah is sending a warning to Putin--so say jw's

by wannaexit in

jw
friends

dubs in a pro-jw forum are talking about the earthquake in kamchatka russia.

they are speculating that this is jehovah's warning to putin.

what kind of twisted logic is this?.

Funchback

JWs can just tie a scarlet colored cloth to their windows (Rahab) or sprinkle lamb's blood on their door-posts (Egyptian plagues) and they will magically be saved. Yay.

32

Baptism at 10 years of age! March 2017 broadcast

by stuckinarut2 in

(i wanted to put this in the child abuse section of the forum!).

we have seen that during the march 2017 broadcast, m stephen lett has openly praised children who get baptised as young as 10!.

so lets summarize why it is wrong to push child baptism (not far off "infant baptism" that jws condemn other churches for).

Funchback

I got baptized at 14 just so I could make it to the New System, which was right around the corner.

Let's add to your list of Too young...:

...to play the lottery
...to understand life saving medical procedures involving blood
...pay taxes
...to be on the Governing Body
...to know any better

7

The Rainbow Promise

by Funchback in

one day, the biblical god decided all humanity, less 8 individuals and some animals, should die via mass drowning, including infants, children and physically and mentally disabled people.. he expected rational people to listen to a seemingly oddball old man and enter a giant box filled with wild animals.

"god told me to warn you.

enter this thing and you will live".

Funchback

If only an omniscient god could have seen that the gay community would later take his rainbow as their own. How pissed off would he be.

So true, dubstepped. LOL!!!

7

The Rainbow Promise

by Funchback in

one day, the biblical god decided all humanity, less 8 individuals and some animals, should die via mass drowning, including infants, children and physically and mentally disabled people.. he expected rational people to listen to a seemingly oddball old man and enter a giant box filled with wild animals.

"god told me to warn you.

enter this thing and you will live".

Funchback

One day, the biblical God decided all humanity, less 8 individuals and some animals, should die via mass drowning, including infants, children and physically and mentally disabled people.

He expected rational people to listen to a seemingly oddball old man and enter a giant box filled with wild animals. "God told me to warn you. Enter this thing and you will live". Who of us today would enter a giant boat that a strange man says will save our lives?

After drowning everyone and everything, God creates a rainbow and says to Noah. "I promise I will never globally drown people again. I swear. Oh, wait. Let me clarify: I will permit floods globally, just not all at the same time. Anyway, check out this rainbow I just made. Pretty cool, right? Just remember, if you live in an area that gets hit with a devastating flood and you have to climb on your rooftops and wait to be rescued while other people are drowning, I will show you my rainbow to remind you that I am so loving".

"God, thank you for promising that you will never destroy humans again", said Noah

"Wait...What? I never said that! I promised I will never cause one big global flood. I'm still going to destroy humans again in the future, just not with water. Next time, I will use...let's see, hmm...Ah! Fire and rocks! I will burn everyone to a crisp or smash them into pieces!", said God.

"What is your problem, God?", Noah asked.

"I dunno. I'm so confused. I always feel regret after killing people. But's it's their own fault! People need to be taught a lesson. Even after I obliterate most humans in the future, I will destroy some more a thousand years after that. But, anyway, check out this shiny new rainbow".

This is one of the many reasons why I could never align myself to God. Even if He did exist, I would have nothing in common with Him.

Have a great day, everybody!

9

What could it be?

by Randy notmarsh in

jw
friends

i'm doing some research.

someone snitched over something minor-ish on me about six months ago the person is from a different hall, person got df ( over some other stuff) why haven't the elders talked to me?

.

Funchback

I still have all of my privileges I pass out the mics help out with literature

Those are privileges?

Let me see...For me, privileges include free upgrade to first class on a flight or watching your kids (or family) not subjected to Watchtower defined privileges.

9

Simon's "Evil" Apostate site vs. JWTalk.com

by Funchback in

i stumbled across jwtalk.com recently and i wasn't able to read many things posted there because i wasn't a member.

so, i decided to join (it's free).

i am not interested in re-becoming a jw.

Funchback

I stumbled across JWTalk.com recently and I wasn't able to read many things posted there because I wasn't a member. So, I decided to join (it's free). I am not interested in re-becoming a JW. I was there merely to see how the current sheeple view matters nowadays and to see how different it may or may not be when I left Dubdom 11 yers ago.

Just like its mother organization, it is chock full of rules, guilt tactics and fear mongering. Don't believe me? Try to join and you'll see. To save you some time, I am posting the hoops you must jump through to join.

One other thing, Simon's site is open to anyone. Even a hardcore JW can join and interact. Sadly, it's not so tolerant at JWTalk.

Here are some of their rules and such, as well as questions you must answer:

Are you an active publisher of the good news?
Are you baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
What is your FULL NAME, both first and last (read Psalms 26:4)? This will be kept confidential and private. (Funchback's note: Psalms 26:4 reads, "I do not associate with deceitful men, And I avoid those who hide what they are.")
What is the name of your congregation? This will be kept confidential and private.
What is the name of the book that contains the questions for baptism?
In that book, PART 2 of the Appendix, look at question #16. What is that question? Please type it here.
Please explain briefly and in your own words what practical lesson we learn from John 8:44.

Who Can Be a Registered Member at JWTalk.net?

To post comments or create content on JWTalk, you must be an active publisher associated with Jehovah’s Witnesses, baptized or not. An active publisher has a share in the work of proclaiming Jehovah’s Kingdom every month and reports it, and is thus counted among us in the monthly and yearly reports. In other words, participation in this community is intended for Jehovah’s Witnesses only.

If an extenuating circumstance causes you to go temporarily inactive, this does not mean you have to abstain from participating in our community. However, should you become “no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses” via disassociation or disfellowshipping, it would be appropriate for you to privately contact the staff informing us that this is the case. Your account will be disabled, but not deleted. It can be reactivated at a later time when your circumstances have turned around and you have been reinstated.

What is JWTalk’s Code of Conduct?

The same behavior expected of you in the congregation is expected here in our online community. Our forum is operated by and for true Christians. This is a site for real Jehovah's Witnesses to engage in peaceful discussion, and not a place for argumentative debates. Therefore, your goal in contributing to a topic should be to share something of interest that will build up your brothers and sisters.

We seek to maintain an upbuilding, entertaining, safe, open, and intellectually stimulating environment, where mature Christians can exercise their God-given "freeness of speech." (2 Corinthians 3:12)

Are Certain Things Not Permitted to be Posted on JWTalk?

We will not tolerate anything against Biblical standards, including apostasy and unclean or obscene speech. (Eph 5:3,4; 2 Tim 2:16-18) Links to apostate sites (anti-witness sites) will get you banned, as will hateful speech and obscene language.

J. A few more points...

* Do not use the forums or your status updates to sound off on what you think the organization should do differently. It is discouraging, and quite frankly not up to you anyhow.

* Since all members of this community are supposed to be active publishers of the good news and counted as Jehovah’s Witnesses in our monthly and annual reports, you must NOT count the time you spend participating on this forum in your monthly field service reports.

* We understand that people are shy. If you comment here at JWTalk, please be making an honest, sincere, prayerful effort to comment at your congregation meetings as well.

Ugh! The whole thing can be read here: http://jwtalk.net/forums/topic/1450-forum-membership-policy/