Funchback

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Posts by Funchback

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  45

  Have You Ever Served as an Attendant? Share Your Stories!

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i remember being a jw lad (about 10 or 11 years old).

  i would be at the circuit assembly and, at around 10:45 am, about 8 brothers would get up, walk slowly up the aisle, glancing at each row of their "section", their lips quivering as they silently count each person, trying to maintain focus as nearly each jw makes eye contact them (even though everyone knew what the attendants were doing!

  did i want to grow up to be the president of the united states?

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  Funchback

  Shoshana...

  On behalf of all the ego-maniacal FORMER dork Attendants: I apologize.

  Here's another Attendant story...

  An elderly brother was distraught. He was in a panic for he had just lost his WIFE! This was at Veteran's Stadium in Philadelphia. He insisted that he told her to meet him at the statute (there were four). He said he dropped her off, parked the car, and was supposed to meet her at a SPECIFIC location. He had been waiting for her for 30 minutes. He seemed really sad. I suggested that we walk around the stadium because, like, she COULD be at the WRONG statute. He said there was NO WAY she'd be waiting at the wrong location. So we walked ALLLLLLL the way to the opposite side of big-azz Veteran's Stadium and, lo and behold, there was his wife. As soon as he saw her he ran too her and immediately began yelling at her! Funny thing was, she was yelling back.

  What happened to all of his sadness??? LOL!
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  58

  Wedding Present: The Family Happiness book

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mother told me that after i get married, she's going to give me the "family happiness" book.

  i've never read the thing, but i know it's a wts publication that often gets given or mailed out to newlyweds who aren't in the troof.

  what's your opinion of this "fine christian publication"?

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  Funchback

  berylblue...

  The only drug I was taking was the one that you ingest through the ears: Talks and presentations at the Kingdom Hall.
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  58

  Wedding Present: The Family Happiness book

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mother told me that after i get married, she's going to give me the "family happiness" book.

  i've never read the thing, but i know it's a wts publication that often gets given or mailed out to newlyweds who aren't in the troof.

  what's your opinion of this "fine christian publication"?

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  Funchback

  ikhandi said...

  Funchback you didn't love those little perks? My friends in bethel would send me bibles and songbooks too with name on them. I loved it to the tenth degree. I'm such a dork!

  LOL! I hear you...I hear you! Our gifts included: cash, appliances, dishes, drinking glasses, clocks, crystal, etc. Yet, somehow I actually told John Love that HIS gift was the best and most thoughtful. UUUFFF! ikhandi, if YOU are a DORK, then you and me must share DNA.
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  26

  Hey Phila. and South Jersey,..Remember this jingle

  by DevonMcBride in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  if you lived in the phila area or south jersey during the 70's you may remember this well know commercial jingle.. http://mcnally.cc/ideal.htm.

  if you got a passion for fashion/ and you got a craving for saving/ take the wheel of your automobile and swing on down to ideal.

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  Funchback

  GENE LONDON: Word in Philly is he is about to come back to local television SOON!

  DANCIN' ON AIR: I work with a guy who was a regular on that show.

  Any of you remember DR. SHOCK and his CREATURE DOUBLE FEATURE???
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  45

  Have You Ever Served as an Attendant? Share Your Stories!

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i remember being a jw lad (about 10 or 11 years old).

  i would be at the circuit assembly and, at around 10:45 am, about 8 brothers would get up, walk slowly up the aisle, glancing at each row of their "section", their lips quivering as they silently count each person, trying to maintain focus as nearly each jw makes eye contact them (even though everyone knew what the attendants were doing!

  did i want to grow up to be the president of the united states?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Funchback

  kyria said:

  There was a weird custom at my hall called "Halloween Duty", after the place was egged for the 49th time, they had brothers on round-the-clock surveillance.

  HAHAHAHAHA! We had that, TOO! Plus, we had to do it on 'Mischief' (or, some areas refer to it as 'Hell') night (that's the night before Halloween). This was in Philly. They began this custom after OUR hall got egged one night. By the way, it always seemed to be Joe Publisher or Johnny Ministerial Servant who did the watch. NEVER did the elder's do it!

  Once again it's the "You're good enough to do volunteer labor" schtick but they never seemed to want to appoint me as an elder (or M.S. even).
• 
  45

  Have You Ever Served as an Attendant? Share Your Stories!

  by Funchback in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i remember being a jw lad (about 10 or 11 years old).

  i would be at the circuit assembly and, at around 10:45 am, about 8 brothers would get up, walk slowly up the aisle, glancing at each row of their "section", their lips quivering as they silently count each person, trying to maintain focus as nearly each jw makes eye contact them (even though everyone knew what the attendants were doing!

  did i want to grow up to be the president of the united states?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Funchback

  garybuss said:

  Later I had a run in with two attendants and they belly pushed me and my 3 year old son away from a vending machine. It was a next to the last straw thing for me. They're lucky to be alive.

  Classic! By the way, I always enjoy your posts, Gary.

  I remember taking the count at the Circuit Assembly and all of us went to hand in the count. The cocky District Overseer thought the #'s were too low and he made all of us count again.

  What a jackass!
• 
  32

  "Besides, We Give Gifts Throughout the Year!"

  by Swan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  the jws always give a lengthly explanation as to why they don't celebrate christmas or birthdays, and then always add the final statement "besides, we give gifts throughout the year!".

  yeah, right!

  okay, lets get an unofficial count of all the people who actually did get gifts on other days of the year.

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  Funchback

  Swan said:

  Dad got a wrapped can of Right Guard.

  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  I know it came from your heart but, still, it IS funny!
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  26

  Hey Phila. and South Jersey,..Remember this jingle

  by DevonMcBride in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  if you lived in the phila area or south jersey during the 70's you may remember this well know commercial jingle.. http://mcnally.cc/ideal.htm.

  if you got a passion for fashion/ and you got a craving for saving/ take the wheel of your automobile and swing on down to ideal.

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  Funchback

  Dag, Devon.

  How'd you find that site???

  Those Ideal commercial's were the worst EVER! The commercials were filmed in the 60's and ran up until the mid-80's. How can a store involving fashion show a commercial with clothes and models from 20 years ago???

  ARGH! I HATE THE IDEAL COMMERCIALS!!!

  Still, thanks for the link.
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  17

  We did it, we got out!

  by MonkeyPrincess in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  we moved out of my parents house last week.

  this was so difficult since im df'd and they were only talking to me since we were living with them.

  of course i was prepared for what was coming, the yelling, talking, and especially the guilt trip.

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  Funchback

  MonkeyPrincess...

  This is the first time I've ever talked to you. I just want to say that your words touched my heart and I hope you can find strength and encouragement here in the Forum. Keep us posted on your situation.

  Funch
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  17

  Have you reunited with anyone from your past?

  by kyria in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  has anyone reunited with someone they used to be friends with when they were jw?

  what did it feel like?

  were you glad you did it?

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  Funchback

  Since my real name is in my Profile and my screen name contains part of my unique last name, I am hoping that someone lurks on here and sees my name an contacts me. That would be awesome!

  To date, other than my sister (who wasn't "long-lost"), I haven't reconnected with any JW's from times past. However, I have reconnected with old friends by going on classmates.com. The benefit? I have done a lot of anti-witnessing to my so-called worldly associates and I have apologized to them if I ever came across as a self-righteous jackass!