Posts by jehovahismyshepard

7

my letter to my molestor

by jehovahismyshepard in

i wrote the following in my therapy sessions to treat my sexual abuse as an adult.

i thought that you should know that i recently discovered the reason i am weird and at times react strange there is a part of me that will never go away .... no matter how hard i try to control or hide it everyday it will always show it will always stay .. i. thought that you should know this indescribable grueling act of what you did ., that inside my adult mind and body you locked up and left for ever a trapped kid...do you know how hard it must be to accept that ?

do you even care ?do you ever feel bad when you look in the mirror who do you see when you stare?

jehovahismyshepard

I would like to Thank you All for your support and your kind comments . Its difficult to realize and believe that an organization built on Biblical Principals and Truth can be so quick to Hide thier faults? From Men in fear of prosecution? I was raised to Believe have no fear for man but do Fear and Respect For Jehovah God.

For that same organization to cast me out not only of the congregation in Montclair,ca

but also instruct my mother and stepfather to cast me out of my home on the streets in an attempt to erase thier mistake.

Dont they realize Jehovah is watching it all? How can they preach of Love ? It hurts so much I do love Jehovah and all this confusion , false sense of guilt confuses me. Recently i admit i tried to recieve a bible study and it was refused by 3 different brothers. With no explanation Why?

I love you all true Brotjers of mine that know that this is something that really happens to so many under that Black Curtain of the Organization

Good Night

4

letter to my molestor

by jehovahismyshepard in

i had an upbringing in the truth standard preached , gave talks and did what many kids within the organization did in thier adolesence .until the day in the summer of my conversion from elementary to junior high ivisited my fellow friend from the hall at his home like i normally did..i discover he had left on an outing to magic mountain the sister his mother offered me a "cold cup of coffee beverage" to refresh me which ended up being a combination of alchol and sedatives i lwas in and out of conciseness finally i recall her taking me a shower naked .

i told my mother immidiatley she was angered with me she said i should of been like joseph and ran like he did in the bilical example.well joseph was not sedated deliberately .

this resulted in elders disfellowshipped publicly on saturday watchtower study my name was read outloud i front of all dear brothers to abstain contact from me and i wasnt even baptized me.the age of 13 for being sexually molested as a minor by an adult member of the jehovah's wittiness congregation in california we attended.

jehovahismyshepard

i had an upbringing in the truth standard preached , gave talks and did what many kids within the organization did in thier adolesence .Until the day in the summer of my conversion from elementary to junior high ivisited my fellow friend from the hall at his home like i normally did..i discover he had left on an outing to magic mountain the sister his mother offered me a "cold cup of coffee beverage" to refresh me which ended up being a combination of alchol and sedatives i lwas in and out of conciseness finally i recall her taking me a shower naked . i told my mother immidiatley she was angered with me she said i should of been like Joseph and ran like he did in the bilical example.Well joseph was not sedated deliberately . this resulted in elders disfellowshipped publicly on SATURDAY WATCHTOWER STUDY MY NAME WAS READ OUTLOUD I FRONT OF ALL DEAR BROTHERS TO ABSTAIN CONTACT FROM ME and i wasnt even baptized me.the age of 13 for being sexually molested as a minor by an Adult Member of the Jehovah's Wittiness congregation in california we attended. I did notify my mother and Elders (Pastors) of this tragic incident to receive the attention I needed to recover and make sense of this tragic event .Instead I was cast away (disfellowshipped) from the congregation for coming forward and reporting this abuse to my Spiritual Leaders and my Mother that I trusted,along with the elders refused to contact Local authorities, instead I was asked to keep my silence and was told that Jehovah will deal with the Molestor on Judgment Day. Until this Day this person is still alive and is within the congregation an elders wife now never prosecuted for a crime that violated me and robbed me of my Innocence Permanently to suffer a Life Long Chaotic Result of Their Actions Towards Me Becoming a Victim of a Sexual Predator on My Own. My Mother and Stepfather set conditions on our household. And demanded that I move out so that they may hold their positions in the congregation i wrote the following in my therapy sessions to treat my sexual abuse as an adult

I thought that you should know that I recently discovered the reason I am weird and at times react strange there is a part of me that will never go away ...

No matter how hard I try to control or hide it everyday It will always show it will always stay .

I

thought that you should know this indescribable grueling act of what you did ., That inside my adult mind and body you locked up and left for ever a trapped kid...Do you know how hard it must be to accept that ? Do you even care ?Do you ever feel bad when you look in the mirror who do you see when you stare?

How does it feel to get away with a crime That devastated my life so slowly lifetime after time? .I thought that u should know how my life drastically changed because of the events you chose to rearrange
I thought that you should know how While you where at home while raising your family and grand kids. I was homeless on the street left with no family to care for me. I have lived and tasted in its truest sense what all Alone is to be.With no one standing beside me. I was Cold and Hungry, sleeping in cars .friends closets .there where days I went days without food to eat. Such a young life raised by the streets.
I thought that u should know I was forced to get a job at 16 to survive .I worked at a restaurant because of hunger and the need to stay alive . I threw food in large trash bag walked it to the dumpster and threw it in. I would return after business hours to collect "the groceries" waiting for my dinner to begin. .I thought that u should know How at one point I hated the Bible so much for instructing me to be honest and say the truth.....I thought to myself Perhaps then if I didn't open my mouth and confess I would of had at least had a taste of Youth .......

7

my letter to my molestor

by jehovahismyshepard in

i wrote the following in my therapy sessions to treat my sexual abuse as an adult.

i thought that you should know that i recently discovered the reason i am weird and at times react strange there is a part of me that will never go away .... no matter how hard i try to control or hide it everyday it will always show it will always stay .. i. thought that you should know this indescribable grueling act of what you did ., that inside my adult mind and body you locked up and left for ever a trapped kid...do you know how hard it must be to accept that ?

do you even care ?do you ever feel bad when you look in the mirror who do you see when you stare?

jehovahismyshepard

i wrote the following in my therapy sessions to treat my sexual abuse as an adult

I thought that you should know that I recently discovered the reason I am weird and at times react strange there is a part of me that will never go away ...

No matter how hard I try to control or hide it everyday It will always show it will always stay .

I

thought that you should know this indescribable grueling act of what you did ., That inside my adult mind and body you locked up and left for ever a trapped kid...Do you know how hard it must be to accept that ? Do you even care ?Do you ever feel bad when you look in the mirror who do you see when you stare?

How does it feel to get away with a crime That devastated my life so slowly lifetime after time? .I thought that u should know how my life drastically changed because of the events you chose to rearrange
I thought that you should know how While you where at home while raising your family and grand kids. I was homeless on the street left with no family to care for me. I have lived and tasted in its truest sense what all Alone is to be.With no one standing beside me. I was Cold and Hungry, sleeping in cars .friends closets .there where days I went days without food to eat. Such a young life raised by the streets.
I thought that u should know I was forced to get a job at 16 to survive .I worked at a restaurant because of hunger and the need to stay alive . I threw food in large trash bag walked it to the dumpster and threw it in. I would return after business hours to collect "the groceries" waiting for my dinner to begin. .I thought that u should know How at one point I hated the Bible so much for instructing me to be honest and say the truth.....I thought to myself Perhaps then if I didn't open my mouth and confess I would of had at least had a taste of Youth .......