Some of the restrictions can also seem petty or unnecessary. I can remember the gossip whenever someone left or was DF, about how their lives had changed. We would comment on how a young man now had his hair down to his shoulders, or had an earring, or grew out his beard, or was smoking cigarettes, or (gasp!) had a tattoo! He was wearing a t-shirt with the logo for some music band, possibly one of those demonic heavy metal acts! He celebrated his birthday! He bought Christman presents! He said "bless you" when someone sneezed! He had a mohawk hairdo! He came out as gay!
Then you leave the organization and you realize just how suffocating it was. Did we really feel shame or sadness for that young man, or were we gossiping because we were jealous that he could do so many simple things that we were denying to ourselves? It is so insane when you finally look at it from the outside.