Hi NewLight,
I faded over a very long time, and it wasn't deliberate. I just found it harder and harder to make the effort to go to meetings or go on field service. But I believed in what they taught and figured it was my own failings, so when elders tried to encourage me, I was earnest in my desire to 'improve.' But it simply wasn't happening.
By the time I realized I wasn't a JW, I had faded pretty completely. I had even stopped going to the memorial for a few years at that point. I think they took it easy on me because I wasn't stirring up trouble and because my mom is still a diehard JW, and I think they did not want to do anything to upset her.
I can't really say what the best option is, because we're all different. If I had not wanted so badly to remain a JW, I doubt I would have faded so gradually. I would not have been able to make even the half-hearted effort I was making until the early 2000s, when I stopped trying but kept telling myself I'd get back in. I think that, once you realize it's not for you, you need to consider all of the factors before you decide on a course of action. Good luck.