SmokeEater

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Posts by SmokeEater

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  26

  Who to Send a Disassociation Letter To?

  by WTWizard in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  if i am going to send a disassociation letter, i am wondering which hounder to send it to.

  i know there is no mailboxes at the kingdumb hell, so any letters that get sent there would end up dead mail.

  and i know that one does not send them to the washtowel slaveholdery.

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  SmokeEater

  I sent one to my PO... and in the letter I told them I had already sent this letter to various ones in the congregation (I didn't really)... but really do it if you want others to know why. Otherwise nobody will ever know.
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  29

  Anyone in North Carolina???

  by SmokeEater in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  looking for any df'd or da'd ex-jw's from central nc... triad, triangle, sandhills region of nc.

  please hollar back if there are any...

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  SmokeEater

  Hamlet is in the southern part of the state near SC. Durham is a few hours to the north... I live in Greensboro
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  29

  Anyone in North Carolina???

  by SmokeEater in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  looking for any df'd or da'd ex-jw's from central nc... triad, triangle, sandhills region of nc.

  please hollar back if there are any...

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  SmokeEater

  Looking for any DF'd or DA'd EX-JW's from Central NC... Triad, Triangle, Sandhills region of NC. Please hollar back if there are any...
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  3

  The shapes of demons

  by somebody in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  can any jw or xjw explain why the wbts's nwt bible uses "goat-shaped demon" in certain scriptures where the word goat appears?.

  2nd chronicles 11:15..... 15 and he proceeded to put in office for himself priests for the high places and for the goat-shaped demons and for the calves that he had made.. what?

  no calf-shaped demons?

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  SmokeEater

  Come'on.... We all know that Demons come in the shapes of Smurfs, Troll Dolls, Teletubbies, Pokemon, Harry Potter, Crystals, and Dream Catchers... Forget what the Bible says...
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  25

  Knock Knock...

  by KistByQpid in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'd be interested in hearing some of the exjw's door-to-door experiences.

  i've probably had the saturday morning door knocking...maybe 6-8 times.

  i've never been "rude" except for once...when i had a particularly aggressive pair who wouldn't take "no thank you" for an answer.

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  SmokeEater

  When I was pioneering in the ASL (American Sign Language) group, our territory took up about 1/3 of the state of NC. So we could spend about an hour to 2hrs just driving to a call... Since we were considered "in the ministry" we would count that time. Boy, was that great!!! It was nothing to drop 8hrs in one day!!! Since I wasn't fluent in ASL (or I acted like I wasn't), I did no preaching for like a whole year. Every so often, I would informal witness, or go out with the Host congregation in a vain act to appear zealous...

  After Pioneer school, I had learned all these "tricks" to the ministry, that I had grown up thinking was taboo (like we could officially start counted time from the moment we said amen at the end of the meeting for FS, and stop it when we got home)... When I got back to my host cong, I thought that I would be a smart ass and do all these things they thought was wrong, and say "well thats what the DO said in Pioneer School!!!" That would shut them up, and I would count my time!!!
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  19

  My Story

  by SmokeEater in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been going back and forth between this board and other exjw boards, and decided it's time to put my story out.

  i think it's theraputic in a way.... well a little background.

  my father is black, and my mother native american (this is important down the road).

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  SmokeEater

  This Skin "is" definetly in... Double Edge
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  19

  My Story

  by SmokeEater in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been going back and forth between this board and other exjw boards, and decided it's time to put my story out.

  i think it's theraputic in a way.... well a little background.

  my father is black, and my mother native american (this is important down the road).

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  SmokeEater

  Dear Brother Sydlick,

  I have heard your words, and hear the poison in them. Just as the Pharaoh you portrayed in the Drama, your arrogance will be your downfall. Your confederation with the United Nations can not help you. We have a Northern Alliance of all the great nations between the great seas- the warriors of the Apostate tribe and of the DF's... Psychologist, and lawyers have joined us. We have vowed to take many scalps, despite not being in harmony with your recent Watchtower article on Questions From Readers, "What is the Bible's Viewpoint on Scalping?"
  We appreciate your genuine interst in our lives, but we cannot conform to your American WASP outlook on life. Perhaps you should heed the word from another great figure in History, "Keep it up boys!!!! I think we have them on the run!!!"- General G.A. Custer (Little Bighorn).

  Aho,

  Respectfully your brothers...
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  19

  My Story

  by SmokeEater in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been going back and forth between this board and other exjw boards, and decided it's time to put my story out.

  i think it's theraputic in a way.... well a little background.

  my father is black, and my mother native american (this is important down the road).

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  SmokeEater

  Dear Brothers,

  Thank you for your timely reply to my letter. However, I would like to bring to your attention that I am NOT Cherokee. Being descended from both the Saponi and Tuscarora tribes here in the southeast, the Cherokee (Casino Indians) have been and remain our mortal enemies. To me and my kind this is an insult, and does not demonstrate the "brotherly love" that is constantly taught.
  Before the "visitors" came to our land, we had our own God, and our own religion. You called us savages. But how can we be savages when you kill our women and our children??? You threaten to kill us when we don't worship your God. Your bullets have killed us, your diseases have killed us, and your religion has killed us. Even today, you want us to abandon our ways. We have had these ways since before I can remember. If our ways stop, the world would not exist anymore. We cannot let this happen.
  Be forewarned, you cannot continue this way. Becareful, "what you sow, is what you will reap".

  N'yeah Weh,
  Respectfully,

  Your Brother.
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  19

  My Story

  by SmokeEater in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been going back and forth between this board and other exjw boards, and decided it's time to put my story out.

  i think it's theraputic in a way.... well a little background.

  my father is black, and my mother native american (this is important down the road).

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  SmokeEater

  Hello All,

  I've been going back and forth between this board and other exJW boards, and decided it's time to put my story out. I think it's theraputic in a way...

  Well a little background. I'm 21yrs old right now. My father is black, and my mother Native American (this is important down the road).

  I was born and raised a JW. My father became a witness in the early 70's, by members of his family. He was a Pre-med major in college, and probably on to big things. After a few years of being a witness, he married my mother, who was born and raised around the truth, but didn't "make it her own" until her late teens, early twenties. They both settled down in NC, and had me and my sister. So needless to say, I was born and raised as a JW.

  Growing up I never really question the Org, or what I was learning. I heeded all the WBTS warnings about Apostacy, false religion, and bad associations to the letter. Growing up we set a good example in the cong. We were all regular in service, active in other aspects of out ministry. We were on the RBC, and regulars at quick-builds for years and years. All of us had parts on the assemblies.

  My father by occupation is a firefighter. Has been since before I was born. Early on this started trouble for him because his work schedule took him away from meetings. On an average he'd miss all 5 meetings over a 3 week period. However, down time at the station gave him ample time to study and prepare for the meetings. My mother worked part-time at the bank, and cared for us when he wasn't around. Every so often they would Aux. Pioneer. Being young, I always had doubts. But the messages from the WT and Awake always forced me to correct myself, and even though I didn't really understand, I assumed it was some shortfall of my own.

  As a youngster. The thought of going to Bethel was always placed before going to college or some secondary means of education. I was taught that Bethel was better than college, and I'd learn the same stuff there as I would in college. But Bethel was never appealing to me. After many trips to Bethel, I was always impressed by the operation, but never really moved to be a part of it. I thought I'd be happy following my parents, and living a very uncomplicated life.

  Being half Indian, or enough Indian if you want to look it like that, I was entitled to certain privledges in school. Mostly government programs set aside for native youths in school. For the most part I didn't need them because I was an exceptional student in class. I did get turned on to Indian dancing and singing. At first my folks had no problem with it. I liked it because it made me feel good, and helped me to fit in with the other "skins" at school. After awhile, it began to bother my parents conscience, since they didn't know the "true" origins of the songs and dances. I tried to convince them, that most of what I was doing was secular. I couldn't participate in the ceremonies stuff even if I wanted to. It just didn't work like that. After a while we found a common ground. They'd ease off, if I put "kingdom interest first".

  Well I can say my downward spiral began in High School. For the most part I was doing good. There were many JW's who went to my school, so I felt like I had a good "safety net" of wholesome association. My two closest friends were active JW's, and they were really all I needed. My father was appointed an elder early on. And all seemed well. When it came time to pick High School courses, I was a little at a loss. I really didn't know which way to go. At that time the Org was "easing" up on downplaying college, and encouraging young men and women to seek some form secular education- to support themselves in the ministy of course.

  The idea of college was put before me, and my folks agreed somewhat. I wasn't 100% sure what I wanted to do, but I figured that my grades were a good indication that I should take advantage of it. After my freshman year, I was ranked 20th out of nearly 500 people in my graduating class. Well something happened with my father and the elders in our original Cong. He was upset over some matter, that involved the construction of our new Kingdom Hall. At that same time my mother was interested in Sign Language classes. It seemed a perfect chance to go to the ASL Group that was forming in our city. I was resisted to that fact. I thought the ASL group was totally unappealing. I didn't know anyone over there, and the thought of waving my hands around disgusted me. I held out as long as I could. I was punished, and fussed at for not showing a "willing attitude". They told me that Jehovah was telling our family that we needed to branch out and expand our ministry even more that what we were doing.

  With me being the only holdout, we switched to the ASL group. We were there for 3yrs, and I hated every year of it. About the end of my Junior year in High school the issue of college really came up. Both of my closest friends were already on their way to college. I was still dragging behind. My folks still preferred Bethel, or at least the Pioneer service to college. I was encouraged to take an active part in the ASL group, over school, so my grades fell. Finally my senior year came. I wanted to be in Marching Band. My parents were okay with that fact. My folks were the most liberal parents I had as JW's go. They allowed me, provided I didn't slack up on Kingdom interest.

  Somewhere in the midst of my senior year, the elders had a problem with me being in Marching Band. They felt the competitions, dancing, and practice associated with our band was "too much". By this time, band season was over, and I was preparting to graduate. Evidently word came back to the Circut Overseer. He told the body to drop the issue. However, at a meeting later on, I am told, it was brought up again, and my father flew off at the handle. Eventually he resigned as an elder. I graduated, shortly afterward. College was out of the question. My parents conned me into Regular Pioneering. I decided that I was going to become a Firefighter too because it was the only high paying job that didn't require a College education.

  That wasn't the end of my father Vs. The Elder body. He applied to Aux. Pioneer, but his application was turned down for that, and even for Regular Pioneering. My folks both told me that if I pioneered for 1 year, they would allow me to stay home free of charge. If not then, I needed to go to Bethel. However, my father would be Pioneering with me. Needless to say, his application was rejected. Shortly after that, he stopped attending meetings altogether.

  I Regular Pioneered by myself for one year. I managed to go to Community College, and took courses in Fire Science. Problems began catching up with my folks. They talked about divorce on and off. Eventually I left the ASL group, and went back to my old Cong. My mom and sister followed suit in less than 6 months. After a while, I just wasn't making my time. I was beginging to get disgusted with the elder body, the congregation, and to a lesser extent the Org. Fortunately the Org had dropped the hours to 70 a month, instead of a 1000 a year. I fudged the numbers enough to get me into Pioneer school. I hoped Pioneer school would strengthen my love for the org and for Jehovah. It did for a while. I tried to pioneer for another year.
  I tried to applying to several fire departments, hoping Jah would bless my pioneering with a job. I was turned down time and time again. Needing a job I applied to EMS and started Paramedic School. I made more money than I would as a firefighter, but I had much more stress. Well things began to fall apart for my folks. They drifted further apart. My mother tried to get me and my sister to help my dad. Eventually she showed me out of several Society pubs how it was an order from God to help turn dad back around. Eventually my mother saw it was to no avail.
  Time went on, and people who I knew were being DF'd left and right. I was totally discouraged. Of my friends, one went to Bethel, the other to College. But on the other hand, I was making good money, had a good car, and was determined to make lemonade out of lemons. I decided it was time to start looking for somebody.
  I started talking to a sister that lived about 30 minutes away. We talked for a while, and I thought she was perfect. She did have a little girl, but that didn't matter to me. Early last year, I got the shock of my life. She got married to a worldly guy at work.

  I was crushed. I thought I had done everything right in Gods eyes. Why was I being punished??? I couldn't get the job I wanted. My folks are splitting up. My girl had left. I felt that Jah's Holy Spirit wasn't there. Before hand, I had looked on the net at EXJW sites to see if they had any valid points. I was happy to see that most in my opinion were just bitter for this and that. Eventually seeing how things were getting worse, and how I was getting no help from the elders. I bought a copy of COC. I read it cover to cover. It was what I needed. Eventually I stopped attending meetings, and service. I picked up Powwow Dancing once again and love it.

  I talked with my folks, and my father thinks I am making a mistake. But he won't go back to meetings according to him. He still falls back onto party lines when I ask him certain things about the Bible and the Org. My mother has stopped going in service, and goes to meetings when it's convineint for her. My sister is graduating HS this year, and I'm pushing her to college.

  My folks still talk of seperation, but I've moved out the house into my own house. I finally landed a job with the Fire Department. One of my best friends, I've talked with about me DA'ing myself is supportive. He hasn't attended meetings either, and lives what we consider a "worldly" lifestyle. My other friend, was kicked out of Bethel for a minor offense that happened nearly 8yrs ago... He lost all his scholarship money from College, and is starting all over again. I've not spoken with him at all since I've left the meetings. In fact I've not talked with anyone at my cong. I can only assume that they know something is wrong. None have tried to talk with me. However, I am hearing that gossip is starting to spread. If it gets too bad I'll let people know.

  I have a hard time seeing people I know who are JW's. I feel that most of them think I'm still the same person I was a year ago, before I silently drifted away, strong and zealous in the Truth- little do they know. I have read COC, Christian Freedom, and Combatting Cult Mind Control, and I feel liberated of the indoctrination of being a and leaving JWs. I thought on DA'ing myself officially, but I think with my mom and my sister quasi active, it would be a hardship on them so I plan to just "quietly" go away.

  As far as God and stuff. I don't really consider myself Christian anymore. I don't follow any religious teaching I don't think. Even though I have been exposed to a lot. I think that there is a God, but whatever way you choose to worship him, you need to be true to it.

  Well thats my longwinded story. It's helped me already to get some of that weight off my shoulders, I hope maybe it's helped some of you too...
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  42

  Did Crisis of Conscience damage you?

  by Mulan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it has been suggested, by a man we know, that those who read crisis of conscience, are left with a feeling of despair and are "cast adrift" after reading it.

  it is his opinion that the book shouldn't have been written, because it does harm to people.

  i do not agree, and would like to hear from anyone who has an opinion to share, so i can print all this out and show it to him.. comments, everyone, please????

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  SmokeEater

  I did feel that C.O.C did kind of left me feeling "where to go". It convinced me it wasn't Gods Sprit Directed organization, but I couldn't help shake the fact that I had left "the truth". In all honesty it seemed that if Ray Franz had his way, he'd still be in the Org. That bothered me.

  I eventually read "Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steve Hassan, which Ray references in "Christian Freedom". That book helped to shake any residual doubt I had. It revealed to me the psychology behind JW's and like-mind organizations. Now I feel 100% confident in my choice to leave.