well i finally got the guts to tell my mother that i had enlisted in the army.
she didn't say a whole lot to me, but she did tell my sister she was calling the elders and that when i was df'd she would have nothing to do with me.
i can't say that it suprises me too much, but i was hoping for more of an adult reaction.
Moridin (or modirin),
This is a very tough situation. I hope that your family comes to grips and does not disown you. Hopefully, they will before you leave.
I'm sorry for how your family are making you feel. You're a brave man who will fight for freedom for all of us. "us" includes your family, although they don't see it that way.
peace,
somebody
just wanted to find out if anyone has experienced some of the emotions that are mentioned in this article.
feel free to express anger, sorrow or elation.
timb.
Hi Xena,
Thank you tyydyy for giving me a place where I feel comfortable to express my feelings without being called names.
I hope you stick around and continue to feel comfortable expressing your feelings here. please don't let the tactless words of one person who has never been in the borg get you too upset.
peace,
somebody.....of the boo-hooers class
just wanted to find out if anyone has experienced some of the emotions that are mentioned in this article.
feel free to express anger, sorrow or elation.
timb.
thanks for the information ty,
I've never experienced having trouble holding down a job, but I have experienced all the rest of the symptoms listed at one time or another. I guess with time, it gets better. I'm down to only experiencing about 6 or 7 of them to this day, and I've been out for 21 years now, as you've read in lydia's thread. I really consider myself one of the fortunate ones here on the board. I haven't had any physical damage done to me by the borg or borg members while in it. And I agree that there are tons of people outside the borg who have had terrible things happen to them too, but I don't think it's a good idea to chose words such as "stop the boo hooing mindset". I also agree with all that have said that the boo hooing is a neccessary part of healing, and with those who have said that we can't stay in that mode forever. Only because we'll get stuck there forever, not being able to move forward. I'm glad that we can feel free to laugh, cry, feel bad for ourselves and others who have gone through what we have here, and to talk about our feelings. There are many here who have held things in and kept their emotions to themselves for years and could not progress at all in healing. I think they rightly deserve the chance to be angry and boo hoo!
bboy,
squirrel juggling?
peace,
somebody
has anyone else found that the teaching of the "outside world" being a "bad association" limits your involvement and ability to make new freinds?.
if so how have you overcome this and any suggestions to helping those suffering from these feelings?.
lydia
lydia,
Thank you for the posting this subject. I'm STILL working to have billygoat's attitude. It's a good one to have, but getting that attitude and keeping it there is the hard part. I walked away from the borg 21 years ago and to this day, I don't have any "friends". I find that I can't let myself get as close as a friend would be to anyone in my life. I have heard friends talk amongst themselves for years. In places that I've been employed. I envy them and wish I could be "normal" like they are. I have many sisters ( fleshly) that I could be friends with, ( as in, a real "friend" ) but hey, that's family! I love my family deeply but those who have big families know that man, you can't say anything to anyone or it gets to everyone else in the family in less than an hour! I finally talked to my doctor about 5 months ago and confessed that I haven't one friend and I feel like I need to have at least one. I never have really. My doctor said I have social anxiety disorder and perscribed medication. The medication made me depressed and in a bad way. I was a different person and not a person that I liked. I was outright rude to people, and that was not me. So I stopped taking the medication after a little les than 2 weeks ( before my family disowned me)
For people that were in the borg through the ages that one learns to socialize and communicate with peers, it sucks. For those important and growing years were stripped from us. We were able to try and socialize and be open with only fellow JWs, which made it all the harder. I feared that I would always say something wrong and be ratted out for it and then either be tossed and thrown away as a friend ( and viewed as "bad association") or publicly humiliated by the whole congregation for speaking my thoughts. It was to the point that I was even afraid to joke with others.
I was able to make a few friends on-line and especailly here. I really appreciate them and being able to really talk about things that I've never been able to. My goal for the future is to make friends in person, in my REAL life and as people say, get a life!
Thanks for the topic, lydia. And thanks to all who responded. I feel somewhat "normal" now!
peace,
somebody....who says .....thank you all you fellow X-JWs and thank you JWs (ya'll know who you are) who have let me get out what I had to say, without questioning my motives or heart and without spewing" apostate! "
my name is kevin and i am jon's partner.
jon gave me his password a few weeks ago and asked me to post to the board if something happened to him.
as some of you know jon had been undergoing cancer treatment since the end of july.
Kevin,
Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your partner. I, right along with others here, will miss his wonderful humor. He gave us all so many smiles and laughs. He'll be remembered by many of us. You are fortunate to have known him in person, and may time ease the pain of losing your loved one.
peace,
somebody
about a week after the september 11th thing when i was feeling devastated and in total despair, i went through an "i give up" phase.. i came out of that phase (or thought i did) with a new gung ho, i ain't gonna take no crap concept of myself.
you probably saw my post about marshall arts.
this was gonna all be part of this new tough, ready to fight, kind of guy.. well, i'm not tough.
hi Intro,
My I ask what joelbear said about not being tough on the board has to do with martial arts? We all saw him get mad at himself because he took what others said about him to heart, and then could not stop himself from reading on, so he took it out on Simon 9 good thing for him that Simon is cool and has so much humor) and blamed his feelings on Satan/the devil. Does any of it have to do with martial arts? besides learning self-control maybe?
How would Joelbear have reacted if everything that he himself said to Simon was said to him, by Simon? I know that joelbear already looked at that view or he wouldn't be apoligizing in his own way here.
peace,
somebody
e-mail me if you don't want to answer here.
about a week after the september 11th thing when i was feeling devastated and in total despair, i went through an "i give up" phase.. i came out of that phase (or thought i did) with a new gung ho, i ain't gonna take no crap concept of myself.
you probably saw my post about marshall arts.
this was gonna all be part of this new tough, ready to fight, kind of guy.. well, i'm not tough.
adding that the Sept. 11th tragedy effected us all, as it did you.
peace,
me again
about a week after the september 11th thing when i was feeling devastated and in total despair, i went through an "i give up" phase.. i came out of that phase (or thought i did) with a new gung ho, i ain't gonna take no crap concept of myself.
you probably saw my post about marshall arts.
this was gonna all be part of this new tough, ready to fight, kind of guy.. well, i'm not tough.
joelbear,
I agree with what individuals wife said. Just be yourself. If you are trying to "create" a new person for yourself in the sense that the person is different and not you, then it won't work. Don't take things so hard and personal and close to your heart that some say here. we are all different and from different walks of life. the only thing we have in common is that we are all related to JWism in one way or another. that makes us a family of sorts.
I miss the old you. the REAL you. Mitch probably does too.
peace,
somebody
PS...love that John Lennon song. love ya.
so many tragic stories here of lost family and friends due to the shunning policy of the wtbts.. time and again we hear tales from newly df'd and da'd persons.
how, maybe when out shopping, they have encountered an active jw who, before shunning them, has whispered hoarsely:"you knew the score when you did what you did...".
but is this a fair argument?
Take, for example, the societies edict to elders that they should "encourage" the weaker ones. You could well replace "encourage" with "harass" to get a true picture of what was meant.
And man, ain't that the truth. Encourage according to the society or elders definition means.......obey or else!
peace,
somebody
so many tragic stories here of lost family and friends due to the shunning policy of the wtbts.. time and again we hear tales from newly df'd and da'd persons.
how, maybe when out shopping, they have encountered an active jw who, before shunning them, has whispered hoarsely:"you knew the score when you did what you did...".
but is this a fair argument?
But is this a fair argument? Think about it, if you had "Known the score" before you had joined, would you then have actually joined the witnesses?
No! It s not a fair argument at all. And the fact that the JWs go door-to-door and pretend that this a happy cult to be in pisses me off to no end I tell you. They rake in new followers and never tell them what the score is! They never tell innocent, unsuspecting people what the damn score is till it's too late. the fear of dying at armageddon is too ingrained into peoples brains before they ever are warned of the evil practices are. They are NEVER warned that if they do not go along with, and participate in, the evil practices, they will be treated as dead, even by, in most cases, their own family!
I was one who was forced by my parents to be involved in it all, but got out as soon as I could when I became of legal age to. My heart goes out to all those who were raised in it from infancy and can never see what they are doing. Even those adults who got trapped by the door to door method were never warned!
