(((((((freedomfighter)))))
I don't know what the little red pill is. But it sounds to me like an anxiety attack. Trying to cope with reality can cause that and it can last for a long time, some days worse than others. You are thinking and asking yourself questions and JWs are trained to turn off those thoughts and questions immediately when they enter the mind, by other thoughts such as " What? You think you know more than the Society? You are dounbting? Satan is trying to steer you away from God's organization!!! Don't let him!!!"
What you are experienceing is normal for those being involved in the JW sect, for both who have left on their own accord, and who have been df'd from and by those who are members of the JW organization/sect/group.
If you go to a doctor, and be totaly honest as you have been here about what you are feeling and what's going through your mind, he or she can give you better advice than I can. I know it's very hard to be honest to another person standing right in front of you, becasue we've been taught to think such thoughts is a sign of weakness, but the fact is is that it takes STRENGTH to do such a thing.
I personally think it's an anxiety attack. If you should happen to feel as if you are struggling to breath or that you may pass out, then FOR SURE it is anxiety/panic. And that CAN be helped and treated. Even for those who do not wish to take meds, there is still treatment and help.
I would not worry to much, because your thoughts, and all the feelings changing back and forth from frustration, anger, sadness, and even fear, are completely normal with the thougths and questions you've been asking yourself. It just shows that you are slowly but surely facing reality, rather than living in a fantasy land. And it gets easier as time passes, from my experience.
I'll keep you in my thougths!!!
peace,
gwen