Posts by SPAZnik

115

To My Mother

by MrMoe in

jw
friends

at about 6:30 this evening my mother passed away.. .

the best mother and the best wife anybody could ever be blessed with.

she was not only my mother, she was my friend.

this is a sort of follow up to "jesus- ignored, forgotten & unemployed at wts" posted by metatron.. it strikes me, that since i have re-appraised many of my religious views that my prayers have changed significantly.

and whilst i am still an active jw, i have wondered whether my family has noticed, though they have not said anything so far.. jws prayers are not only very stereotyped (despite what jesus admonition about not using the same words, or by extension the same thoughts, over and over again) but also extremely introverted towards the watchtower society.. for example, a typical congregation prayer will include the following thoughts;.

1. bless our congregation.

SPAZnik

A few more thoughts...

(i like this thread)

I'm not so sure I even consider it 'prayer' any more.
I think I'm at a point where it is in my head and
nobody else is really listening. In which case I definitely
do that more than twice a year. lol.

Perhaps what you are calling 'prayer'
for me more closely resembles

self-talk
meditation
reflection

All of which, IMO, can cause
'nearly miraculous things to happen' (to pull a line from metatron)
in a persons life. Simply because of how the mind works.

People just seem to be different about
who they credit for the changes incurred.

In the past, I credited a Creator, heavily.
Now I credit myself, and other tangible beings.
That said, I still haven't made my mind up entirely
about my thoughts and feelings about a Creator, a God.

Who knows how I'll feel in the future.
I'm enjoying the journey though.
Whoever wishes to take credit for that,
can go right ahead.

And I will continue right on talking to myself. lol.

SPAZ

24

Have your prayers changed?

by eyeslice in

jw
friends

this is a sort of follow up to "jesus- ignored, forgotten & unemployed at wts" posted by metatron.. it strikes me, that since i have re-appraised many of my religious views that my prayers have changed significantly.

and whilst i am still an active jw, i have wondered whether my family has noticed, though they have not said anything so far.. jws prayers are not only very stereotyped (despite what jesus admonition about not using the same words, or by extension the same thoughts, over and over again) but also extremely introverted towards the watchtower society.. for example, a typical congregation prayer will include the following thoughts;.

1. bless our congregation.

SPAZnik

Have your prayers changed?

Yes.

Much like Matty
(except for the 'guilty' & 'good little witness' part).

Two main differences in my prayers now:

1 - Now I pray oh, once or twice a year rather than 'hourly'.
2 - Now I say God, or is it Gawd, rather than Jehovah.

A few things that havn't really changed:

1 - I pray when I want to.
2 - I pray in my head (silently).
3 - I say "if you are out there"
and "if you are hearing me"
or "whoever's listening".

SPAZ

edited formatting

4

Women Drivers (again)

by Simon in

driving to the office this morning on the motorway, i looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new bmw doing 100 mph with her face right up against the rear view mirror putting on her makeup.. i looked away for a couple seconds and when i looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still putting on her makeup.. it scared me so much i dropped my electric shaver which knocked the donut out of my other hand.. in all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee cup between my legs, splashed and burned big jim and the twins, ruined the damn phone and disconnected an important call.. damn women drivers!

SPAZnik

Haha, I love this one.

SPAZ

115

To My Mother

by MrMoe in

jw
friends

at about 6:30 this evening my mother passed away.. .

the best mother and the best wife anybody could ever be blessed with.

she was not only my mother, she was my friend.

SPAZnik

This was an amazing expression of love.

I don't have the words,
but please know
my thoughts are with you.

Thank you for sharing from your heart.

SPAZ <----*choked up*

25

Is Sex Just Sex, or is Sex making love?

by butalbee in

okay, my ex says that sex is just sex, it isn't love.

love is deeper than sex, and sex is just to feel good...he also says that love is an entirely different thing, and if i think having sex has anything to do w/ sex, then i am crazy.

what is your views on this..

SPAZnik

Um...yes?

It can be both. Depends on the dynamics of the relationship.
Sometimes I'm looking for F*** sex. Other times i want it to be more than a technical performance with real feeling involved. The term "making love" just makes me cringe, too corny a term to me.

All i can really add is:

No matter how "technically proficient" a partner of mine is,
it's ultimately the quality of the trust, openness and communication in the "relationship" that has a DIRECT bearing on the quality of the sexual experience for me.

SPAZ

22

Oral Sex! As viewed by the Watchtower, a Quote!

by Beans in

the watchtower has some great articles for all jw`s to view!.

http://quotes.jehovahswitnesses.com/oral.htm.

beans

SPAZnik

Brothers,

(*me whispering in a soft throaty voice) What is oral sex?

I really need to be sure
that I'm not sinning against Jah, so

pleeease I neeeeed you (*pleading throaty whisper)

to explain to me just what it is. I could never rent a video cuz you told me that wasn't a very good idea. (*me batting my wide-eyed innocence *blink *blink)

'Oral' has to do with the mouth right? (*blink *blink)
As in mouth, tongue and lips? (*me licking my lips,
nervously of course)

I don't understand, so do you mean like kissing is even bad?
Ooooh, just kissing 'certain spots' is bad.
Aaaah, not just kissing?
Mmmhmmm, Sucking and Licking is more the bad thing?

Just so I'm crystal clear on what I am and am not allowed to do
when i'm naked in my 'sacred' "marriage bed" tonight when copulating, *garsh*, I mean rendering my marital "due" with my spouse, please could you explain, where exactly my mouth (*me licking my lips) should draw the line?

So am I understanding this properly (*blink blink)
that I can kiss.
I can use my mouth,
tongue
and lips to
intimately
kiss
my mate anywhere...up and down...the length...of their...
.
.
.
.
(pause for emphasis)....
.
.
.
.
.
body, (what were you thinking?)
just so long as not directly on their *ahem*? So what qualifies as RIGHT ON the *ahem*? Just the tip? Or all over, what about that sensitive place under the **** and between the ****, you know, close to the um, ****? Sooo, are you saying that if I was ever to say, hold the *ahem* like 'so' and kiss up to say 'here' (*me gesturing) it would be okay, but if i open my mouth (*blink blink of my eyelashes) and let my tongue touch that sensitive *ahem* part, and especially if I wrapped my mouth right around it...licking or sucking...

(*me thinking "brother, is that a lightsaber in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?")...

...that would be an unnatural desire and just plain wrong?
(*blink *blink)

Ohhhh, so like anywhere up to, let's say, the *ahem*
hair line is off limits?

(*me thinking thank gawd i'm shaved!)

So I can touch...and ummmmm.....fondle anywhere with my hands, but not with my lips and tongue? So I can kiss right up to their *ahem* but not right ON it, night after day after night after day after night as long as I don't touch the reeeeally sensitive places with my tongue? (*me licking lips 'nervously' again)

(*me noting to self "cum to think of it, this sounds like a surefire way to get my grounds for divorce! i'll either bore and/or tease my mate into the arms of another just by following WTS rules!")

I'm embarrassed to say this
brothers,
but i must be sure
that I'm in no way sinning,
so What about my spouse towards me?
You know, the guy to the girl
(*me thinking or the girl to the girl)
I'm going to try and speak frankly here brothers,
after all we are all adults right...ok...*ahem...well,
no matter how um, you know, hot or wet I am during, um, intercourse, well um, my, mmmmmm...(*me whispering again) clit. doesn't really get stimulated much when he is inside of me, so what you are telling me is that neither of us should touch or kiss or lick, my soft sensitive god-given *ahem*???

So that's because???

oh it's uncleeeean! well, what if i'm in the shower and make sure i rub soap...and water...ALL over my...entire....um...
.
.
.
(pause for effect)...
.
.
.
(gesturing unconsciously,

mainly of course because gesturing
has been 'drilled into me',

me running my hands next to my)
.
.
.
.
.
.
body (what were you thinking?) to ensure it's clean?

ohhh, unclean in a figurative sense? but only mouth, lips and tongue to *ahem* is unclean, but what about hands to *ahem*?
(me thinking *hm. maybe that's where the pharisees rules about washing up to the elbows came from? possible they knew about fisting way back then?)

Oh and Brothers, why are YOU red-faced, if anyone should be redfaced it should be me, I'm the one who didn't know what it was. And,

Thank You Brothers, for staying out late after the meeting to help ensure my spiritual needs were met. And thank your wives too for waiting so late after the meeting too.

(*note to self - no giving head to the head of my Head. got it.)

ps - Brothers if THAT is what oral sex is,
and i find this hard to say, then there may be a need to form a judicial committee for me.
what's that? ohhhh, you don't like to get involved that intimately in people's marriages? just don't 'promote oral sex' to others? So are you now saying that making noise during sex is wrong? no? Oh, just telling anyone else that we're all doing it? Oh...ooookay.

(so the whole 'oral sex is unclean and unnatural' rule, is really a guilt thing, and if they actually were to 'enforce' it, they wouldn't have much of a cong left now would they? Are they really so nieve as to believe that just becuz they've guilted everyone into thinking it's 'wrong', unnatural and unclean, to the point that noone will admit to it, that the "vast majority find it repulsive and unnatural"? Oh yeah, that's right, and nobody masturbates either. LOL.)

time for another nap
(anything for my country)

SPAZ

5