even i am pretty shocked at this one... .
my daughter who is 20 years old and df'd for about 2 years now is attending meetings again.
but yesterday she tells me that she didn't feel like going to the meeting and that her mom probably wouldn't even know that she wasn't there.
Thanks for the thoughts Frank. I am very inclinded to do what you say and persuade her not to go back, but I feel like that is a decision that she has to reach on her own. I do think in time her eyes will open and she will make the right choice. But for now she is torn to do what her mother wants her to do (they are very close) or to follow her heart. Time will tell.
Staceman
even i am pretty shocked at this one... .
my daughter who is 20 years old and df'd for about 2 years now is attending meetings again.
but yesterday she tells me that she didn't feel like going to the meeting and that her mom probably wouldn't even know that she wasn't there.
Yes, this is pretty crazy. As a former elder in that very same Hall and knowing those 'brothers' like I do makes it even more surprising to me. If I did happen to still be there and part of the BOE, I would for sure have raised an objection and stated very clearly that she can sit wherever she darn well pleases. At least she's HERE and that's what counts! Ya know? Wow.. More and more, I just shake my head....
Gopher.... I'll be calling you so we can catch up!!
staceman
even i am pretty shocked at this one... .
my daughter who is 20 years old and df'd for about 2 years now is attending meetings again.
but yesterday she tells me that she didn't feel like going to the meeting and that her mom probably wouldn't even know that she wasn't there.
Even I am pretty shocked at this one...
My daughter who is 20 years old and df'd for about 2 years now is attending meetings again. But yesterday she tells me that she didn't feel like going to the meeting and that her mom probably wouldn't even know that she wasn't there. Well, I said, don't you sit by her? And she tells me that they won't let her! I mean HUH? They won't let her sit by her mom? Has anyone else heard of such a thing? She said that some 'brother' complained about them sitting next to each other so now they won't allow it. Holy cow..
Unreal....
although i have not really shared my story here, i have one thing i'd like to share now that makes me very nervous.
i'm going to visit some friends of mine in arizona for a week.
they are friends i had made on my own way after jw's, great, supportive, loving friends....i'm proud of them in that they truely have become my family and have re-defined the true meaning of friendship.
First of all I must say I am not Staceman I am Lori. My brother let me use his login info because I cant seem to get in on my own.
I have to respond to this thread...as I was abandoned by my entire family at the age of 17. I had no one for a very long time. The fact that I was dfd for rebellion was a huge joke but what could I do? The thing that I wanted to say is that I have an 18 yr old son now and I am so happy to say that I have kept him completely out of the troof. Because I could never would never abandon him the way that I was. I love him unconditionally and always will. That just makes more sense to me. My dad and my sister still dont talk to me but I do have my other sister and brother and mom out here with me. My mom feels bad for all the lost years...30 of them. I just want you to know anything can happen. I never thought I would have a family again but I do. And it feels so darn good. And I believe that I am a strong independent woman who knows exactly what she wants and is determined to get it. It wasnt always like that...if you care to read this poem I wrote a long time ago..I would love to share it with you.
Theres shadows in our corners and nightmares in my mind. And I cant help feeling frightened nearly all the time. Haunting my day to day existance are the ghosts from my past. The pain intense the memories vast. Why do the victims torture themselves the most? The ones who have hurt us their ambivalence is so gross. They dont care who they hurt or who gets in there way. So the innocent ones continue to pay. Our hearts broken into pieces..Theres blood in our tears. Hoping for another chance for all the lost years.
what do you find yourself doing differently?.
do you ever feel a little shocked when your opinions on certain things have changed?
things that you were once so adamantly against?.
This is the first time I have responded on this site. And I am so excited.
I have changed so much over the years. I was dfd when I was 17 due to rebellion. Rebellion against abusive parents that played the game so well. My mom was drunk more than she was straight and my dad, the elder, broke my cheekbone at the dinner table for looking at him wrong. I have always loved my rebellion against what isnt right. So that hasnt changed.
I spent years out of the truth completely alone. I always thought that I was too 'bad' to associate with the good brothers and sisters. I strived to be reinstated and was. I was a struggling single parent that went to the brothers for help financially once and they said that they dont do that. I was literally homeless and lived in my car for a while. Fortunately I met some 'christian' people that helped me get some food to eat and a roof over my head. And in time I got back on my feet but I never forgot how I was turned away from the 'brothers'. I stayed away from the troof but I always wanted back in to get close to the family I was deprived of for 30 years. Ironically I got a wild hair and decided to move half way across the country to Denver. Would you believe my baby sister moved here 2 months before I did. We didnt know each other since we were children. I was careful to not step on any toes and kept up my guard. She was a pioneer for years..but was on her way out of the troof herself. To make a long story short we celebrated xmas for the first time in our lives last year and I am in my 40's and she is in her 30's. We even got xmas presents from my brother the x-elder now dfd. And my mom sent gifts she too was dfd years ago. It was the most incredible xmas ever. My sister and I have become very close but we are very angry at what the troof stole from us. My dad and baby sister are still entrenched...sadly. But maybe someday I will have all my siblings back into my life.
well i spoke with my mom this past week.
she made sure to remind me that the memorial was coming.
she pressed me for a promise to attend.
Oh my gosh I am so excited to post. I have been reading this sight for months and I have tried an tried to register but it wont let me. So my brother gave me his info so that I could scream out to all who will listen. First of all I have to say I love you all so very much and I feel each and everyones pain. My life was nearly destroyed by the jdubs. I was a witness when I was a kid. My stepfather brought us in and one minute we were all happy and celebrating holidays and enjoyed our extended family and the next we were forced to shun everyone and everything having to do with the world. My mom became an alcoholic and my dad became very abusive. In fact he punched my lights out when I was 13 yrs old. It was at the dinner table and blood squirted all over our dinner...because I looked at him wrong. Well to make a long story short I was dfd when I was 16 for rebellion. What a joke. I was then thrown out to the streets to live on my own. What a life it has been. I survived somehow after being raped 4 times in my youth and I have faced more adversity than most with no family to rely on or even to call. I am now 48 yrs old and I luckily moved to Denver 2 months after my sister did. Pure coincidence.I havent her known since we were children. She has left the org. and so has my brother and mother. I have reconnected with them and it feels great. My 'dad' is still in and so is my little sister. But we are all so screwed up I cant even tell you.
I am so angry with all that it has taken from me and my family. This site really helps to put things into perspective. Thank you all.
i now have a pc again.
i had gotten rid of the wt cd because i had a mac ................ can anyone get me a cd-rom?
I have a copy of the 1999 version, at least that's what I think it is... I could burn you a copy of you're interested...
Staceman
don't you just hate them.
i seem to have a horrible habit lately of waking up at some ungodly hour (i can say that now right?)..
and then i can't fall back asleep.. i'm amazed how well i actually function the next day sometimes..
Yes, do the Melatonin!! It works Great with no side affects whatsoever!! And you don't need a prescription! Just go to your local Herb and Vitamin store at the mall and they'll have it for about 5 bucks a bottle. I think it comes in 1 and 3 Mg. They have worked wonders for me as I too was waking up at about 2:15 every morning for no apparent reason. Oh it sucked...
And I can't believe that no one has jumped all over simplesally's comment!! But let me be the first!! I can help you out Sally!!
In fact the wife and I both would love to help you out, but that's another thread...
Staceman....
.
after becoming a witness, slowly we became programmed to believe that 99% of the world was not approved by god and that they were evil, and in the darkness, and would all die at armageddon.. most of us left the watchtower, or are on the verge of doing so, so at a certain point it's normal to be in a so called no man's land, where you don't believe what the watchtower taught and at the same time you still believe that the entire world is not approved by god.
i was just wondering how long you stead in this mode of beleiving that the watchtower teachings were wrong, but at the same time, you still remembered and believed that the world was also doomed?
Interesting mention about going to a church. Ya know, I don't think I will ever be a member of any organized religion. Again, having it engrained in me that they are all part of Babylon the Great, the World Empire of False Religion has just stuck and won't go away in the foreseeable future. I always shuddered whenever I was inclined to go to a funeral or something that was held in a church and quite frankly I don't think I will ever miss it.
I have to say here that for all those years of giving of myself to others and preaching 'love for the brothers', being an Elder and giving about 90% of my waking hours to the congregation... Theocratic School Overseer/Book Study conductor held in my home/backup Watchtower Study conducter.... etc,etc,etc....and then in an hour that I needed help all I got was the "Trust in Jehovah" comment... for 6 months... ugh... As the other elders were going on vacations to the MN Twins spring training camp, Alaska, Cozumel...... I was struggling with no job and still trying to fulfill my duties as Elder.... even covering for them while they were away... Oh, it still ticks me off to this day. Thanks a lot for nothing!
How can you identify the True Religion?? "By the love they have among themselves!?" WHATEVER!
Thanks 'Brothers'.............
.
after becoming a witness, slowly we became programmed to believe that 99% of the world was not approved by god and that they were evil, and in the darkness, and would all die at armageddon.. most of us left the watchtower, or are on the verge of doing so, so at a certain point it's normal to be in a so called no man's land, where you don't believe what the watchtower taught and at the same time you still believe that the entire world is not approved by god.
i was just wondering how long you stead in this mode of beleiving that the watchtower teachings were wrong, but at the same time, you still remembered and believed that the world was also doomed?
Yes, this is an interesting thread.... I don't post often but I find myself really wanting to here....
Sassy, I can relate to what you're saying! I'm right there with ya. You think of all the years you go thru school being different, not joining any sports, not participating in any after-school activities, not doing the pledge, not singing happy birthday, not being someone's valentine or turning someone down... constantly being taught that we are no part of the ungodly world. I still vividly remember the picture in the Paradise Lost book with the lightning bolt striking the building and the people falling into huge cracks of the earth. Then growing up and dealing with work people, thinking to ourselves "if only they knew that they were probably going to die very soon at Armageddon"...
And now, kinda suddenly you're not 'in the fold' anymore... and you read and hear things about the org. that shock you but then you still find yourself humming "We Thank you Jehovah" or something... Yes Sassy, like you I just try not to think about it too much anymore.. No Man's Land it is!!!
